Can boys and girls just be friends ....?

[RedSkyLastNight]

DS (aged 14) is going to the cinema at the weekend.
With a girl.
And no one else.

He insists that it is entirely platonic and in fact said girl normally tells him about all the boys she fancies (didn't have the heart to tell him this could be sneaky ploy to try to get him jealous).

He has lots of other female friends, but he tends to socialise with them in a group.
And ... the girl is in the year below him at school (and certainly when I was at school you never associated with other years, never mind with those of the opposite sex).
He got to know her when they were in a school concert at the end of last term (lots of waiting around off stage during rehearsals).

Slightly lighthearted, because I really don't care either way, (ok, a little bit freaking out if this is his first "proper" girlfriend ...) but do others' teens have similar boy/girl friendships??

Of course they do, my dd1's only best friends during senior school were 3 boys, she's 23 now and their relationships never went past being bestfriends.

Of course. My dd1 went to a boys’ school at 6th form and has many many platonic male friends.

I have been bestfriends with boys since primary.20 years later we all still text each other and meet up regularly.

Nothing has never happened between any of us and never would. They are like brothers to me.

I think it is really healthy to have close friends of both sexes.

Yes, my 13 year old daughter does. She has a male friend in her year that she gets the school bus with - sometimes they head into town after school or go to the library or get something to eat. They went swimming over the summer together. She doesn't fancy him at all - she can't hold water, I know who she "likes". She also goes running with a different boy the odd time, if they're both at a loose end (he lives round the corner and is a year younger).

Yes, as children/ teenagers definitely. Both my DS have lots of female friends. As adults I think it's trickier.

I had several as a teenager - none of whom I was the slighest bit attracted to. but we hung out together all the time. Sometimes in a group. Sometimes as a 2.

Yes, at his age my best friends were two boys from the year below me, we're still close 25 ish years later and there's never been anything sexual.

Yes as long as everyone's happy with it being platonic it's fine.

My DD is 13 and has as many male friends as female ones. All platonic.

Absolutely! My best friend since I was 12 was a boy (28 now and still best friends). My main group of friends in college was 4 other boys (so much easier to be friends with than girls - a lot less drama).
Nothing ever went past being friends :)

My 17 year old has a friend from college who is a boy - they've been to concerts on their own together and other days out but as far as I know it's platonic.
A friend's daughter has several 'friends who are boys' from when they were secondary age to university.

Yes. The social pressures have changed for the better, no longer are kids silo'd by sex by relentless "oooh! He's your boyfriend!" twaddle. Well, mostly. Goes along with the colour-blindness, and I love seeing it.

Yes, at school and into adulthood several of my closest friends were/are male. A couple of them I briefly fancied as a teenager but when it wasn't reciprocated it soon settled back into friendship, but with the others there was never any romantic spark on either side.

Of course! My oldest friend is male, we've known each other since we were newborns (not that we were exactly aware of eachother then but still) and we were born just a few days apart when our families were neighbours.

I tended to have boys as friends until secondary school where gender apartied really kicked in. I did make other male friends later but was always the target of gossip and innuendo from toilet brains with nothing better to do.

So yes of course they can ans ignore the embarrassing adults and other with boy girl you'll catch cookies bullshit.

Most of my friends are male even now.

Yep. Some of my best friends from school are blokes with whom I was never involved (and there was never any suggestion that they wanted us to be). Still great mates 20+ years later. And yes, I did go to the cinema sometimes with just one of them.

They were extremely handy in my early 20s as bs detectors around other men!

Absolutely. DS1 is about to be 13 and has two close friends who are girls. People have obviously done the "oooh, is she your girlfriend' thing when they've seen him with either and he's always a bit baffled by it; the one he's closest to lives nearby and they spend so much time together they're more like siblings than friends.

I can't imagine it ever changing for them (of course it still could) because they're just so different to him, but they're also lovely influences on him.

Yes, between the ages 14-20 I was friends with boys. Not so much these days.

DH has more female friends than male friends.

I have quite a few male friends (and DH's female friends lol)

Sometimes you just gel better with the opposite sex!