Traumatic labor

[Pebblerox12]

Hi everyone
I'm looking for some advice and to share my labor story as it keeps playing round in my head.

My due date was 30th July with first baby, ended up going 14 days over.
Booked in for induction on the Friday morning, pessary inserted and removed 24 hours later. Another 15 hours waiting to be brought down to delivery suite with mild cramping.
Was woken at 4am sunday morning to be wheeled down to get my waters broken then the drip.

Before breaking my waters the midwife advised me to take some g&a as it can be painful, it had no effect on me. Took 2 to break some of my waters. Drip put up at 6am and by 9am I was contracting bad enough to need pain relief. Babies heartrate was abnormal so the emergency cord was pulled and I was attacked from all angles, the clip was put on babies head and the rest of my waters broke as it was apparently in pockets.
2 hours later i received remifental by this point i was crying my eyes out as the pain was so bad, I had been asking for it from 9am but was told there was 1 anethetist to cover the entire hosp and they were busy.

Remifental was dreadful, it helped with the contractions..............when I could keep myself awake. I would press my button, end up falling asleep sitting up then be woken by the next contraction therefore not timing my button just before a contraction. This went on for a few hours and as it just wasn't working I asked for an epidural.
Meanwhile I started profusely shaking and felt freezing, I had developed sepsis. My contractions were coming 4 in 10 minutes by this point and again was waiting 2 hours for the epidural.
I was getting lines inserted, oxygen whilst feeling drowsy, disorientated and so so sore from the contrations.

The epidural finally came. I was vomiting and shaking so much it was difficult.to sit still for it. It helped me for an hour then I began to feel pain again.

15 hours of labour the doctor made the decision to.do an emergency c section. Abnormal ctg and failure to progress. I was 7cm dilated.

Before the section I got a top up of the epidural and the ice test done which I couldnt feel anything. As they started to cut me open I could feel pain, my husband kept telling the anethetist I was in pain but when she asked me I denied it as she was wanting to give me a general anesethic and I felt so ill and scared that my baby wasn't going to be ok. If id have let them knock me out and some thing went wrong with my baby I'd have never forgave myself. I soldiered through it with the help of a sedative to relax me.
The moment they showed me my baby over the screen was the best moment of my life 😍 I could finally relax.
Straight after baby came he got a line inserted and was treated for sepsis.

Few hours later i was brought down to the ward feeling very disorientated and unable to move in severe pain. A midwife greeted us then went away. My husband went to the changing station to.change our babies nappy which he was nervous about, the midwife came to me and left me tablets without watter?? and seen him attempting to change babies nappy, she asked if he had ever changed a nappy to which he replied no and was told he will soon learn and off she went.
I was fuming it would have taken her 2 minutes to show him. I had attempted to bf but the midwife just threw him on me and squeezed my breast like a teat which hurt so i demanded a bottle as it wasn't a nice experience.
That night I didn't sleep and felt dreadful with this tiny baby beside me wondering what the heck was going on. A nice wee auxiliary came to.feed baby but was pretty much just left to it.

Morning came and I'd asked a midwife for pain relief but she was very condescending as I was getting Morphine and it should be working, well it wasnt and I demanded her get the doctor to see what else I could have, turns out another drug was missed out that was meant for me. I was becoming very stressed, lack of sleep, feeling sore/ill then worrying about baby who did end up contracting sepsis so we were both being pumped with antibiotics.
I had to spend 6 days in hospital and they ended up discharging us early as I was such a state mentally.

I found the whole labour process absolutely ridiculous, the fact i waited 4 hours in total for pain relief is absolutely horrific and I believe if my pain management had of been kept on top.off I wouldn't have ended up with the sepsis. My whole body went into total meltdown with the pain.
The aftercare was good but also very bad at points. I felt I was treated like somebody who had a straight forward delivery when I really wasn't well. Not to.mention at max I slept 7 hours over 4 days as it was impossible to sleep in hospital.

When I got home the first week was awful, I kept having flashbacks and waking up in sweats during the night thinking i was back in hospital. I got myself back onto my antidepressants straight away which I had come.off during pregnancy and was doing so well but it was wiser to restart them.

I just wanted to share my story and have a chat if anybody has experienced something similar as it's good for me to talk about it.

Thank you xxxx

💙

No wonder you are traumatised.

Have you spoken to anyone about this. You need to be able to talk.

Ask your gp for counselling

Hey there
Yes I'm being refered to councilling although the antidepressants have kicked in and I do feel much better I just feel so annoyed that I was allowed to be induced with them knowing there was only 1 anethetist, I would never have went in over the weekend if id have known 😢
It was such a stressful time.
Xx

Might be worth contacting PALS and asking for a debrief. Your concerns are valid and shouldn't be dismissed. It will also help with processing what happened.

X

@Pebblerox12 I'm sorry that you've gone through this. I also had an awful labour experience and found that it really helps to talk about it

I don’t think all medical staff really appreciate how painful having a baby can be. When I had my first I was a Dr and thought it would be moderately painful. Ha, I would have opted for death instead if possible. It was a back to back, chin up birth and I was entirely off my face with pain, horrific. However, for another birth with standard presentation it was just moderately painful.

The hospital I birthed at had great anaesthetist coverage 7am-4pm Mon-Fri and outside that one person having to cover everything. When one of my kids was a toddler and sick in hospital outside core hours an anaesthetist was with them trying to do something and having difficulty. During this they were paged regarding a woman wanting an epidural. Half an hour passed, paged again. I tell him to go and come back as what they were doing with my child was not an emergency and could wait. They say, no it’s okay she’s just having a baby. I try and tell him it’s shit and painful and to go and help her. Nope. Another half an hour goes by, the midwife tracks him down and begs. He says, nope she’s ONLY having a baby for gods sake, he will finish here first. I start yelling and carrying on for him to just go help her, he starts yelling and carrying on that’s just having a baby, the nurse starts yelling that we both need to leave the room and calm down. I could have punched him in the face. Prick. Seriously, a lot of medical professionals just don’t understand how painful it can be. It’s not always but it can be.

I’m sorry you have been through this Peb.
Your experience sounds similar to mine in various ways. I did not have sepsis but other complications and emcs after 40 hours. The lack of support and the horror of hospital made everything worse.
I think you are at risk of ptsd and pnd. Glad to hear that you went back on your antidepressants. I would push for counselling. I paid privately for for a therapy called Emotional freedom technique which did help. But DS was 18 months old by this point. I should have had it earlier. Hope things get better for you.

Hey.
In the hospital I had a debrief and the doctor just said sorry I had a bad experience. I just don't feel that's enough, I was told in the hospital I would have my 6 week post natal check with my consultant yet received it last week over the phone by my gp.
It's all just so wrong. I do plan to write in a complaint but sure where will that get me. I work for the nhs so know good care. Sometimes that's worse. When I go back to work it will have gave me a whole new perspective. Xx

Thank you it certainly is helping it's good to get it off my chest xx

@hopping
That is absolutely dreadful, it really irritates me as the hospital are pumping you with the drip yet not keeping on top of your pain relief it's a disgrace. My baby was also back to back...........ouch!! Contractions in the front and back are not fun. My friend is now overdue and she's refused to go near the hospital at the weekend. At least my experience is helping others. Xx

@crimson
Sorry to hear yours was similar I wouldn't wish it upon anybody.
Yes I had to leave the hospital asap I didn't feel like a patient at all. The lack.of communication was dreadful. After our antibiotics stopped we were supposed to be monitored for another 24 hours but the doctor let us go and I was so so thankful. It's a difficult one as you've just been through hell, feel absolutely awful and there's constant visitors which is a blessing but a curse as you just need to sleep yet can't take away families chance to meet baby. I don't remember a single convo that was said at visiting hour lol. Xx

You’re doing the right thing talking about it and going back on your anti -depressants.
Push for a de-brief with a consultant- go through PALS if you have to or contact the head of midwifery who should be able to arrange this for you.
Nothing will change the events that happened but trying to make sense of them will help you move on with your lovely baby.

Hi,

I just wanted to reiterate what pp have said and use a birth reflection service if you can. I was traumatised by my labour for months (60 hours of 3 in 10 contractions and sent home 3 times before they eventually admitted me as I had become delirious and couldn't wee. This was because it took me days to get to 4cm and they were totally inflexible. One MW told me to go home and relax with a cup of tea in the bath !!!) . There's is lot more too it than that but basically I was angry and confused at them lack of care. I did feel better after discussing with birth reflection team and asking lots of questions.

Pregnant again and going to get a plan in place if possible, signed off by a dr, as I am not going that long without pain relief again !!!

At my local hospital there is a service called birth after thoughts. You make an appointment with this service and the midwife goes through you notes with you. She will then go back to Drs and other midwives to clarify points ect. You health visitor might be a a good point of call too.