Don't think I can go through with it - feel like a failure

[biscuitbox]

I recently made the decision to move from where I'm currently living. Without giving too many details, it wasn't an easy decision as I was scared and it's really far out of my comfort zone but I know it would be a good opportunity for me to grow. A mentor really encouraged me to go for it and try it, and that it wasn't a big deal if I didn't like it and it didn't work out. However, I don't even know if I can actually go through with it.
I know that it would be a good opportunity for me, but when I think about it I feel really anxious and scared and have spent about 10 minutes standing in my kitchen crying about it. I want to be able to do it, but I'm frightened. I have only told a few people about it because the more people that know, the more pressure I feel. The mentor has asked me a few times how things are progressing and each time I've made excuses for my stalling of the final decision. I feel like I'd be a failure if I give up now, and kind of ashamed when I think about what the mentor would think of me. Also financially it will be a real stretch and it's costing me more money as time goes on so I need to be sure about doing it and I need to act asap. But then I don't know if that's just me making excuses and convincing myself not to do it. It's all such a mess and i don't know what to do.

Maybe others might not agree but I think it would be helpful if you explained what the jump was so we could make a bit more sense of it.

For what its worth though, I always get that feeling before I leave one job and start another even if it has better prospects.
Knowing one job, life, home or area is comforting - even if it's shit and bad for you- it's what you know. I always have a wobble before I make a big change and that's totally normal, and expected.

What you're experiencing is totally normal ahead of a big change. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. That just means you have good self preservation, and perhaps need to have a hot bath and glass of wine and see how you feel tomorrow.

Can you explain what it is you are so anxious about ?
Are you moving for a new job ?
Is it the job you are anxious about?
or
Are you moving to a different part of the country ?
or
Moving away from family ?
or
Nervous about a change I've not thought of?

I was going to tell you a boring story about my career

But actually, the short version is... A mentor is not necessarily right.

Forget what anyone else thinks. What do you want to do and what is affordable, or at least avoids debt? The cost part screams at me from your post.

I had a mentor once and they became a bit controlling. It's one thing having someone more knowledgable to guide you but it's you who makes the final decision because it's your life and yours alone. You don't owe them to do as they suggest. And if they're truly a mentor and friend, they'll want you to be happy

But without knowing what it is I can't really say much more. Just know that if you make a decision that you feel is best for you, you have not failed.

That said it's perfectly natural to feel scared and anxious before making a big change. It doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong thing to do.

My advice , for what it's worth , is don't go . You have to be comfortable with the decision and your obviously not . I agree that some of these mentors or life coaches can get a bit over bearing .

Don't look at it as being a failure, you're not . Look on it as being assertive and making the right decision for yourself .