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Original poster

Any who co-slept (And doesn’t now)?

52 replies

gothefcktosleep · 30/09/2018 19:50

Sorry, I know I should post this in Sleep but I need an audience.

If you co-slept with your baby how the hell did you get the baby out of your bed? At what age?

I have a 4 month old daughter who I have co-slept with since the second night we brought her home.

She always ends up on the breast before bed, even after sinking a bottle. I don’t know another way to get her to sleep.

I can’t get shush pat to work (maybe I’m a moron). I try to let her fall asleep co-sleeping then move her into her Next to Me but she either wakes up instantly or not very long after - big crying that pulls my heart apart.

I don’t know what to do. How long should I keep trying to move her over in to her N2M for? Or should I resign myself to the fact she just wants to be close to us and get a bigger bed... (my friend’s solution).

HELP 🤯

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 30/09/2018 20:18

I co-slept from newborn to a year and then dd went into her cot in her room. Took a few nights of shush-pat etc but we got there!

Don’t compare your baby to anyone else’s, it will drive you mad! Just do what works and is right for you and your family and go from there.

Verbena87 · 30/09/2018 20:20

I love co-sleeping... I love her, I love that when she wakes in the night we don’t have any drama, I love seeing how content she is when she’s sleeping and hearing her breathing and her little noises.

In which case, fuck ‘should’. Also I don’t know any adults who choose to sleep alone if there’s the option to share with someone they like; it’s weird that we expect babies to be more independent.

What we’ve done is got an Ikea gulliver cot (as it’s stable even with three sides) set it up with one side off, raised it on blocks so it’s level with our bed, cable-tied it on, slid the mattress across and made a firmly-stuffed sausage-shaped pillow to plug the little gap left down the side of the mattress from pushing it to meet ours. He sleeps in a sleeping bag in there, with easy access to boob and hugs, and we sleep in our bed with enough room to sleep. He’s 1, and we’re all still quite happy at the moment (though it’ll be a novelty when we do decide to move him to be able to stop shagging on the landing Wink)

Firenight · 30/09/2018 20:20

My 9 year old mostly stays in his own bed now; 4 year old still cosleeps as she has since birth.

Both kids would rather be snuggled up with us and I honestly don’t mind. It’s good close time after sometime fraught days.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
shutlingsloe · 30/09/2018 20:30

Co slept with both of mine until they were around 18 months then on and off until around three.

They're 16 & 17 now and no longer co sleep 😉

Only thing I regret is worrying about it at the time and listening to stupid people. It worked for us, that's all that mattered.

LBOCS2 · 30/09/2018 20:36

Do what works for you.

We coslept because it was the only way to get them sleeping but I slept appallingly the whole time so at 6mo they went in their own rooms in their own cot. DD1 was fed to sleep (and then later we'd sit with her for an hour plus until she settled), woke in the night (once) until she was about 4. DD2 went into her own cot in her own room, slept through pretty much straight away, you could just plonk her in bed and say good night and she'd be fine.

tamzinro · 30/09/2018 20:44

My boy still sleeps with me at 4 and I love it . We are very close .

BogstandardBelle · 30/09/2018 21:27

We got a bigger bed: we ended up having a massive family bed for several years (open sided cot in the corner, superking size bed plus a single ;-)) for baby, me, ds1 and DH . They were 3 and 5 when they moved to their own room / beds. Haven’t regretted it at all - in fact I love it now if they end up snuggling in our bed once in a while ( they are 10 and 7 now - it doesn’t happen often...But I’m glad we still have the super king when it does !)

onestitchaway · 30/09/2018 21:42

We co slept with DD until she was around 3. We’re currently co sleeping with DS who is 2. We have no immediate plans to move him. It’s too easy and we love cuddling him throughout the night. He absolutely loves a cuddle !

Idontmeanto · 30/09/2018 21:49

Ds is 5 1/2. He still wants to fall asleep having a cuddle. If i’m not home he’ll make do without me. If he wakes up and realises he’s been put in his own bed he makes damn sure he gets back in with us. I keep telling myself he won’t be doing in when he’s twenty.

KimKatCourtney · 30/09/2018 22:55

I co-slept with DC1 from birth until 2 years 4 months when DC2 arrived and she decided she didn’t want to be woken up and on day 3 slept 12 hrs in her own bed for the first time and has slept through every night since then. I do miss DC1 in bed but now have DC2 to sleep with who is less snorey and also doesn’t dig his head in my back Grin

Stompythedinosaur · 30/09/2018 23:22

I co-slept until both of mine were about 18 months. Around a year we moved from co-sleeping in our bed to co-sleeping on a futon on the floor of the dc's room, I would get them to sleep and then go downstairs for a bit, go to bed in my bed but go through to them the first time they woke and generally stay there. Over time their sleeping stretched until I could get them to sleep and they didn't wake until morning.

They are 7 and 5 now, and sleep well.

Stompythedinosaur · 30/09/2018 23:24

Also, we still co-sleep occasionally, generally if so is away well all sleep in together as a treat. The dc love it, but are fine going back to their own beds the next night. The dc also have "sleep overs" in each other's beds on occasion.

aidelmaidel · 30/09/2018 23:25

If it's working for you, stick with it! Sex is definitely why we have nursery places Grin

MamaRaisingBoys · 30/09/2018 23:28

Is anyone able to tell me what age you can have them in with you with normal duvets and pillows and not make any adjustments etc?

Ds is a terrible sleeper so I’m thinking of putting him in with me, he’s just turned 1 and I’m not sure what I need to do to make it safe at this age if anything?

HeAteAFatball · 01/10/2018 01:51

This is an ignorant question probably, but am curious. Is there not a risk with co-sleeping that the child could get "rolled on" and smothered? Am not trying to be goady, just curious as to how mothers are able to co-sleep and stop that happening. Or am I just thick?

Nonomore2 · 01/10/2018 02:08

For those that co-sleep can i ask what positions you take in the bed?

BertieBotts · 01/10/2018 02:08

Stopped at just over 2. I got him his own bed and he was excited to go into it. There was a transition period where he'd wake up and cone to find me but I left doors open and always made it clear he could. By 2.5 he was sleeping through and just came for a morning cuddle. By 4 he specifically told me he didn't like sharing a bed any more. He didn't come in after that and he's 10 this week.

I used the no cry sleep solution to encourage him to spend time in his bedside cot.

Now I'm cos leering again with DS2 and we tend to have sex during his daytime naps.

triwarrior · 01/10/2018 02:15

My boys are 4 and 7 and usually end up in our bed by around midnight. Thank goodness we have a king size bed...

SnuggyBuggy · 01/10/2018 02:25

I lie on my side with an arm extended over her head. If I was to roll, which I haven't, it would be away from her.

BogstandardBelle · 01/10/2018 06:12

For safe co sleeping...

Plenty of room
Babies go btw mum and a wall, not btw parents or beside a sibling
Only cosleep on a smooth, firm surface ie a bed, not a sofa, armchair, beanbag etc
Keep pillows and big duvets away from baby.
No drinking, smoking or drugs.

CountessVonBoobs · 01/10/2018 06:18

I only coslept until about 4 months or so and then moved them out, starting with settling them in a carrycot or Moses, swaddled, for daytime naps and the first shift 7-10pm, and then putting them back in the carrycot between night feeds, then moving the carrycot into the big cot, then removing the carrycot. I used swaddling for a while though to help them adapt so this wouldn't necessarily work for an older baby. We still cosleep occasionally if one of them is ill or unsettled but I need my space in bed (personally, I DO like sleeping completely alone given the chance!).

BertieBotts · 01/10/2018 07:27

Baby on the side of a wall can be risky - most adult beds won't be flush with a wall especially when the mattress or frame moves due to people getting in and out. Babies can become trapped in spaces as narrow as 6cm. It can work, but check your setup. Usually a bed guard or bedside cot is a safer barrier.

Original poster
gothefcktosleep · 01/10/2018 09:40

To those asking about safe co-sleeping:

Babycentre.co.uk has guidance on how to safely co-sleep. You lie on your side in a C shape around the baby. No covers past waist height (which was fine in summer!) pillows out of the way.

We have her next to me crib up as the “baby catcher” although the way she chases me across the bed the only person who has ever been at risk of falling out is poor DH who ends up shoved against the wall - we’ve put pillows down the side so he has an extra bit of comfort...

I don’t know when you can safely co-sleep with duvet etc, I suppose when they would have their own duvet?

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 01/10/2018 10:43

Yes until age 14 months. Took a week off to wean and get him in his own cot and own room. Did controlled crying.

Worked totally. He’s nearly seven now and sleeps perfectly fine in his own room.

furandchandeliers · 01/10/2018 12:47

I could slept with all 5 of mine and they all went into their own bed at about 3 years old, which was fine with me.

I'm expecting another next year and I'm planning on doing the same.