#metoo Wondering about you. Here's mine

[Vagabond]

Crowded Piccadilly Circus: a guy passes me by and puts his hand up my crotch, tweaking my vulva. He pinched it. It hurt.

Woke up on an international flight to an Indian guy putting his hand up my skirt. He had taken the vacant seat next to me when my bf went to the loo.

Was in a mall, looking at goods next to the window. Guy outside taps on the window (night time) for me to look at him. He has his trousers down and he's wanking.

Went for a doctor's appointment in a 3rd world country for period pain. Had extensive breast exam. Stupid me. I was young and let it happen.

Was on an international flight, drunk oil worker came and sat in spare seat next to me and tried to flirt with me. I told him I was flying home for mum's funeral to get rid of him, and he climbed over me, screamed at me and kicked me, calling me a frigid cunt. He kicked me over and over. It was horrendous.

I know I'm not alone. What about you?

Clearly I'm not pretty enough cause nobody has so much as wolf whistled at me...not that I've noticed. I work with men in a male dominated field. They respect me, I respect them. It works fine.

(Only time I've faced lack of respect was from fellow females who are absolute arseholes.)

It has fuck all to do with being 'pretty enough'. ZERO.

My ex husband raped me.

I worked in a shop when I was 14 to 19 and the manager consistently made comments about my tits asked me questions about my sex life. You know at 14.

Been felt up on the tube on numerous occasions.

I was on the tube once, it was extremely crowded. I had a man behind me, but because everyone was crowded like a sardine, it meant that I was very pressed against his front with my back. I could feel him sort of rubbing against me but at first thought that it was him trying to make himself comfortable so would try and shift away from him as much as I could. Soon it became very obvious that he was actually wanting against me as there was a wet patch on my dress that I could feel seeping through.

Another tube one, again, it was crowded, rush hour on central line. I could feel a hand travel up my thigh from the back up to my bum and trying to get between my legs- thankfully my thighs are too fat for an unsolicited hand just to get between them. So he just fumbled my bum.

Both times all I could do was just stand there, frozen and terrified in disbelief of what was happening.

The other times are too upsetting to write about, but there have been many, many, many.

When I was 16 I ended up in a relationship with my boss who was 50. I did like him but looking back it doesn’t seem right. It wasn’t right was it? I’m still not sure. I first met him when I was 14 but nothing happened then. This fucked me up quite a bit.

When I was at university I went round to see my friend for a cuppa. I had previously slept with him but he ended it and I was ok with that. On this occasion I was just visiting as friends. But he persuaded me to have sex. I didn’t want to but he wouldn’t let up until I agreed. Find that one confusing.

Age 17 working as a glass collector and the 60 year old piano man asked me to rub myself up against him. I told him to fuck off and he did actually apologise the next day.

I think I have got away more lightly than many women.

Im sorry these things have hsppened to you so awful. I've had my bum and boobs grabbed, hand up skirt ECT and called names slag/ slut quiet regularly when I was younger and went out clubbing but I don't really ever think about that now but When I was 17 I slept at my friends house on the pull out sofa I went to sleep alone when I woke the next morning I was in a lot of pain and someone had their fingers inside me I was very confused but it was my friend He must of got into bed with me at some point. I struggle with this because i dont really know what happened to me or how long it went on. I also don't understand why he did it I really thought he was my friend. Plus I did nothing about it at all so I guess I'm ashamed of my reaction at the time.

I'm always really suspicious of people who ask me to share sexual abuse stories. Sorry.

Good point yourenotericlove but I actually feel better for having got mine off my chest

My Dad raped me for years

I was walking home from school aged about 13 and a man called at me over saying 'excuse me love can I ask you something' I innocently started to walk over and he showed me his erection and said 'do you know what this is'
On a school trip to the Lake district and stood with a couple of friends, aged about 15, and a man brushed past me, slipped his hand down my raincoat and squeezed my breast saying thank you, that's lovely.
#metoo

I can think of 4 incidents just off the top of my head, but I'm not going to waste minutes of my life recounting them here. And I count myself as 'lucky' because I've never been raped, yet.

Age 17, went to a university house party (I worked with the host)

Got a little tipsy and stoned, I stayed overnight as it was a bitch to get home, and the hosts brother who was visiting raped me. He came back half an hour later and did it again. I was frozen in fear. I hadn't had sex yet. I haven't to anyone that before.

In my early 20s I had my drink spiked and woke up with a man raping me in a graveyard. I had lost my bag, purse and phone. I contacted the police and the officers who came told me I shouldn't have drunk so much. And it wouldn't go any further.

It was the 1st Xmas without my dad and I was going home on the bus from The shop, and some drunk blokes got on the bus, they were roudy and wanted me to join in with the singing and stuff, I didn't because I wasn't in the mood, and was called a cunt, stupid bitch. When I shouted at them that my dad had died, it shut them up. Not sexual but it illustrates that type of aggressive women should do what a man says behaviour. Bunch of fucking shitcunts.

I'm sorry hedgehogblues. X

Age 14, fellow school boy pushes me against a wall on the walk home together and tries to put his hand down my trousers.

Wore a pair of hot pants ages 24 to a club, man grabs my arse so hard he lifts me off the floor and bruises me. Overheard him say I shouldn't wear clothes like that if I want no attention.

Working at a busy railway station in the ticket office, severe delays due to tree on tracks, customer threatens to rape me after work.

Arse pinched on the way to work.

Many catcalls from labourers/builders

Chased ages 13 on the way home from my friends through a park by a man.

Aged 12 me and my friend walking (luckily) 15 seconds from my house when a car screeches next to us with a group of men shouting at us to get in the car

When pregnant, had my bump touched and man made weird heavy breathing sounds at me. Told him to piss off and he ran.

Pushing my then 1 year old son and got shouted out I was a filthy hot milf from a van

Working at station downstairs in a quieter ticker office with a male colleague, I was engaged. He shut the blinds when I went to the loo and pushed me against the table and kissed me. Was annoyed when I pushed him away: was terrified I'd be raped here.

Age 15 school boy grabs my breast on the stairs to class

Colleague commenting and leering at my breast size

Many more of these but I'd be here all night

When I was 14 a man my parents paid to tutor me started running his hand up and down my back to my bum. The next time he pulled back my skirt to look at my knickers. The time after that he unbuttoned my shirt. Within 6 “lessons” he raped me. I convinced myself it was exciting and I wanted it to justify it. I didn’t. I was frozen with terror and too afraid to tell anyone because he was my parents friend.

When I was 22 a male friend offered to drive me home from a New Years party. On the way he suggested we stop at his new flat so I could see it. I trusted him. As we were walking up the stairs I heard a camera. I turned around and he had his phone out. I didn’t know what to do. I went into the flat, he invited me to look at his dvd collection. As I did I heard the camera again and turned around to confront him. He’d been taking pictures up my dress. Then he forced me to the flood and raped me. After he’d finished he got up, did up his trousers and told me to walk home. My clothes were ripped, I was covered in bruises. I never told anyone until I met my dh.

Followed on my way to school by a man asking if he could photograph me as I was pretty. Maybe he could take pictures of my bum? I was 11 and just started at high school. He asked if I wanted to hold his hand. I said no and walked on to school. He followed me and stood at the gate watching. I told the Secretary who seemed annoyed and disinterested to be speaking to me. She shooed me off to class. I got to my class and told my teacher. He asked if I reported it. I said I told the office. He said in an obnoxious way "...and you're telling me why then?! Loving the drama?" I had no idea what to say or do next. Last week a bloke in a van offered some lads from my kids high school some mars bars and it was all over local social media. The school were dealing with the incident with the help of the police. People were looking through cctv etc etc. The difference in attitudes now is astounding.
I've worked as a barmaid my entire working life. Not one shift has gone by without some kind of comment, "compliment" (I'm absolutely stunning for a big bird and would probably be a model if only my body was stunning too is my fave) insults (fat bird again) and banter.
My boyfriend let his friend touch me intimately when I was drunk.
I was pulled into some bushes walking home from college by a bloke. He tried to lay me on the ground and tie my hands together. I managed to struggle free and broke his nose while i was kicking and screaming.
A customer threatened to have me beaten up for turning him down.
A customer called me a snobby cunt and said beggars can't be choosers when I dared to turn him down.
Taxi driver stroking my thigh when he thought I was passed out.
Neighbour. Was regarded as an angel. He would take kids swimming, to the park, for an ice cream etc. He would babysit. He was trusted by everyone. Two times me and my friends went to his home to watch a film. He never behaved improperly. One day my friends went home and it was just me and him. He asked if I wanted to watch a film. I said yes. When he switched it on it was porn. I won't describe what happened next but I was only 10.
He died suddenly in a freak accident and I was so thrilled. It was only then that while the adults were mourning him and raising £££'s for his poor wife did us local kids privately cheer. There were dozens of us.

When I worked as a bar maid I was emptying the ash trays into a large tin bucket ( shows you how long ago that was) one cheeky fucker, sitting with his mates said “oi bitch give me a blow job”, so I emptied the whole bucket over his head, his mates laughed at him and said well done, my boss backed me up over it.
Hands up skirt, .flashed at on the bus to school, stupid comments from arseholes over the years, some men are just fuckers!

Sexually abused from the age of 4-16 by my stepfather.

Raped by my boyfriend who wouldn't listen to the word no.

I think it's fine to ask people to share their experiences- they don't have to, but for people who choose to, it can be cathartic, and for others, it can be a relief to know their own often very private experience is actually very common.
When I was 16 I was very naive. A lorry driver offered me a lift. I thought he would be offended if I said no. I always wanted to be polite. So I got in the lorry and he touched me in private places and exposed his penis and made me touch it. I honestly thought it was the end of my life. I only got away by pretending that my mum was going to come and would see us. Nowhere near as bad as some other people's experiences but it affected me for years - I didn't have any kind of boyfriend until I was 27 and I married him. Until then I thought I was incapable of sexual or romantic relationships.
Plus all the usual catcalling / threatening sexual jeering in the street / flashers etc, through the years. And lots of sexualised bullying at school (fat bitch / ugly slut and the like).
I do so hope that things will be different for our children.

Taken to a secluded place aged about 6 and my pants pulled down by neighbours older son. He took he down too and rubbed up against me.

At school, having my bra strap pulled... a lot

15 years old, had a phone call after my picture and name appeared in the paper (very unusual surname and easily traceable through directory enquiries). Started asking me various questions re modelling. Ended up getting more and more explicit until asking if I shaved my pubes. At that point I realised it wasn’t genuine and hung up.

18, and pissed off my face with boyfriend and his mates. Decided to be ‘cool’ and get my tits out. Boyfriend and friends proceeded to fondle them and I was too out of it to stop them

In a club and crotch felt up under short skirt. By a woman, that time.

At work, (clearly in need of a bra intervention), colleagues sent me a sports bra anonymously. I knew it was them as I caught one of them laughing when I opened it, confused.

At work event and invited ‘upstairs for a cuddle’ by much more senior manager

From cat calling to flashers to having bum, crotch and boobs touched by strangers in clubs to having a stranger's hard genitals rubbed on me in public transport to strangers following me home to taxi drivers taking me to wrong addresses and refusing to stop the car to waking up with hands in my pants without ever having consented to intimacy to verbal and physical abuse after declining sexual advances by both boyfriends and complete strangers to complete strangers physically forcing me to be intimate with them to one-night-stands as well as boyfriends ignoring clear 'no's and overpowering me physically to have sex in ways I did not want to. I've lost count... All of it men.

A special slow hand clap goes to the person who popped on first to say "well it's never happened to me, women are the one who are mean" do one.

My step father sexually abused me on a few occasions as a child. Then when I was 16 my brother told him I lost my virginity. He obviously saw me as 'ripe' or something because from then on he spent the next 3 years sexually harassing me, offering me money for sex, standing naked in open doorways masturbating as I walked past and 'talking dirty' to me through my bedroom door as I cowered inside terrified he would come in and rape me. This is only a small amount of what he did to me. My mother found out as she saw him pinch my bum in the kitchen one day, and she confronted him. He confessed all. She forgave him and is still with him 13 years later. His friends and family think he is charming and wonderful, and my mum always posts lovey dovey things on Facebook. She knows about the abuse as a child too and refuses to talk to me about it.

This is just a one of many examples. I have been groped in public numerous times, the first being at the age of 8, the latest being a couple of years ago. Comments on the street, a group of men (who were not running) suddenly running beside me as I jogged, to intimidate me. I met a lad on holiday but didn't want to shag him, he was in our room as my friend was with his friend in the other room. I pretended to fall asleep to evade him (I was young and too meek to tell him I wasn't interested) and he put his fingers inside me.

An old boyfriend's friend grabbed my breasts when I was sitting on his sofa and no one was looking. I told my boyfriend who sided with his friend and then him and all their friends text me abuse for weeks. The same boyfriend secretly filmed us having sex and sent the tape round - long before revenge porn was a talked about thing. Luckily the police did help me with that one, they visited every friend and forced them to delete the videos.

A man once lifted my skirt over my waist in a bar.

I'm so fucking sick of it.

Yeah Gunpowder I thought that too. This isn't the thread for "Not all men are like that" bollocks. Not all men are abusers but all my abusers were men. As for so called cat calling I stopped going out of the house when I was abused in public. I was too scared as I always had my kids with me. My daughter got scared and wet herself when a car load of lads pulled up beside me and called me over for directions. They said thanks then started to rev the engine. Screamed that I was a fat bitch then drove off. Then they turned around drove past and threw a McDonald's shake which hit me but went all over dd who was 4. A few years later I was at an anniversary party and the passenger who called me over and threw the shake was working on the bar. I was very upset to see him and I made a bit of a fuss (I was a bit drunk and he was the reason I hated leaving the house and why dd became petrified of loud cars). I went and confronted him and threw a pint of Guinness at him.
I have other stories about similar times where I confront bullies and abusers. But we'd be here forever.

I have a few. Not sure this first one really counts to be honest, as I do not know how to define it:

As a young child, being called sexy by a male relative who would put me on his knee and tickle me in between my legs. Not really abuse but a bit weird, I guess. He did same to another family member only a bit older than me. A few months ago we were discussing family and she told me "I was relieved when he died."

At primary school a lot of banter and sex games. In year 5 or 6, being made to undress so a group of kids could look at my naked privates. They made me lie down and ripped my pants off. They said if i did not let them they would trap me and not let me go. So after fighting them, I let them get on with it.

Age almost 15 being folowe by a man who then proceeded to put his hands somewhere he shouldn't and try to put his fingers inside me. I was embarassed so did not scream or tell him to stop because I did not want anyone to know. Looking back I do not know why I did not just shove him off me. I guess I sort of froze.