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Easy changes that makes your life better

3 replies

AlexaShutUp · 30/09/2018 12:46

I'm feeling really low at the moment. Overwhelmed and unhappy at work, lacking in energy and motivation out of work. I feel disappointed in life and in myself for not making more of it. I'm exhausted most of the time, and I'm struggling to make and maintain positive changes.

I'm trying to take care of myself by eating more healthily, getting more sleep and getting some exercise, but I find it very hard to stay on track tbh. I stick to better habits for a few days/weeks and then I start to backslide. My willpower and self-discipline are quite limited, it seems. My health isn't where it should be.

I work full time in a demanding and stressful role. My immediate colleagues are wonderful but I have lost respect for my boss in recent months, as he has become increasingly arrogant and has stopped listening to his staff. My colleagues are all disillusioned with work, which is sad because we used to enjoy it. Now I feel like I don't see the point in what we do.

I took on a voluntary commitment a couple of years ago in order to find a sense of purpose or meaning. I enjoy it and do find it rewarding, but sometimes it just becomes another thing that I have to do, and another source of guilt/stress if I haven't done stuff. I know people will tell me to give it up, but I don't really want to because it's one of the few things in my life where I feel I'm making a positive difference.

I'm looking for a new job but there are limited options at my level in the local area, and for various reasons, moving is not an option at the moment. I'm the main breadwinner for our family, so I need to keep earning.

I have lost touch with many of my old friends, after moving across the country nearly ten years ago. I have made new friends, mainly through work and through dd, but my social life is pretty limited tbh. I'd love to spend more time with friends but rarely have the confidence to initiate stuff. Everyone is so busy too.

DH is quite depressed and has been for some time. He hasn't had the career success that he had hoped for, which I understand. Also, he hasn't made close friendships in our local area, which is difficult as he is a very sociable person at heart. We try to support each other, but sometimes I feel that we're both just going through the motions. My parents are getting older, and my dsis lives a long way away, so I feel responsible for them. My mum suffers with serious health anxiety, which can be debilitating for her, and I find it exhausting to try and reassure her sometimes. Having said that, my parents have always been very supportive of me and have helped out enormously with dd over the years.

My teenage dd is absolutely bloody wonderful, and the one thing in my life that consistently brings me joy and keeps me going.

I thought life was going to be so different - meaningful, fulfilling and full of fun. I was going to make a difference to the world. I don't know where it went wrong. On paper, I have nothing to complain about. Nice family, nice house, decent job. But I feel so empty and just disappointed with it all. It isn't the life I imagined.

I know it's down to me to change it. So many people have so much more to deal with, my problems are trivial by comparison. I should be grateful for what I've got and I feel guilty for wanting more. So I need to change and I want your advice.

What small, easy steps have you taken to make your life easier or happier? How do you find meaning in the daily grind? How do you focus on being grateful for what you have instead of thinking about all of the stuff that's missing? How do you motivate yourself to make positive changes when the willpower just isn't there.

Please help.

OP posts:
ElsaMars · 30/09/2018 14:04

I've been feeling overwhelmed recently too. Too lazy (house is a mess) too greedy (I'm fat) so much to do and absolutely no focus to do it. I'm trying to do little things that make things easier. 1 is having a reusable box at the bottom of the stairs, I chuck things in it that need to go upstairs and take them all up at the end of the day. I'm also eating little and often, so 5 meals instead of 3. If I don't want it, I won't have it but I find it stops me thinking about food and then bingeing. Good luck.

arsearsearse · 30/09/2018 14:11

I have found keeping a diary of positive things useful. Every day I write down three nice things that have happened and something I’m grateful for that is not dc (I feel like you - they’re the best thing in my life, but I don’t want to make them responsible for my happiness). Sometimes I really struggle to think of anything but I always do it. It makes me reflect on the day sns notice the small things - it might be the way the sun shone through a window, or the smell of some flowers in the supermarket, or a moment dp and I laughed together.

It also means I have a record to look back p of positive experiences. It helps me remember that life is not all about the big picture (which can be overwhelming), but also about the good things that happen every day.

EmpressJewel · 30/09/2018 16:54

I try and plan lots little things I can look forward to

Make a nice lunch to take to work, so you have something to look forward to. I will sometimes try a new recipe.

Plan nice things for the weekend with DH and your DC - movie night, country walk, afternoon tea etc.

I have a little mental list of quick, easy and cheap treats for example, a soak in the bath with bubbles or a bath bomb, painting my toenails, read a book that you enjoy.

Sometimes, I just think about work in terms of being a means to an end, so it's about earning money to allow me to enjoy my personal life.

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