Has anyone out there managed to stop equating food with love/comfort?

[MawkishTwaddle]

If so, could you tell me how?

I had a pretty poor childhood, and I was left alone a lot. When that happened, biscuits, cake, crisps, ice-cream etc were my friend.

I also had an emotionally and sexually abusive disaster of a first marriage, which I'm still recovering from. I'm in therapy, and whenever I have a tough session, I fall face-first into a barrel of carbs and wine.

Food is my friend. I associate it with comfort, it blocks out miserable feelings and it hypnotises me, to an extent.

But I'm gaining weight. I'm at my heaviest ever, apart from pregnancies, and I hate it. But I can't seem to stop.

I've tried all the books, podcasts and articles under the sun about breaking free of this food addiction, but nothing seems to help. I'm worried that it's hard-wired in, and nothing I can do will help me.

Have any of you managed to overcome this, and if so, would you mind telling me how?

Thank you in advance.

Hopeful bump.

Try making exercise your go to thing instead. It worked for me. When seperate gets from my husband I wasxeither going to stuff my face or go to the gym. Chose the 2nd option and feel fab

I have tried that, and it works to an extent, but then when things get really tough I just go back to my default behaviour.

It feels like there's no way out of it.

That sounds interesting, thank you. I'll look it up.

It just all feels so hopeless at times.

I did. Back in April. I replaced two meals each day for 8wks with protein and fresh fruit shakes. Ate very low Carb. More fresh raw veggies at my main evening meal. I had to learn to embrace the hunger and strictly no sweet treats. I took it one meal at a time. Telling myself it's only for 8wks. It worked. I have wobbles. I indulge them. But only on 2 occasions each weekend. I enjoy a healthier relationship for now with food. I'm more disciplined within myself. Onwards and upwards.

Well done, Yoksha.

MawkishTwaddle Not yet managed to stop equating food with love and comfort. Have eer since a young child felt a void inside me and struggled a lot with shame, self loathing, social anxiety and generalised anxiety. I am going to Overeaters Anon and have started seeing a therapist. Been addicted to other things than food and have been diagnosed as having a disorder which one of the symptoms is "chronic feelings of lonliness or emptiness" and another symptom is "self damaging behaviour, eg reckless spending, gambling, binge eating"

Clare that bool sounds interesting. I must give it a try. The therapy I am having at the moment is trauma therapy- for eating and some other issues around anxiety and personality disorder traits. The compulsive eating for me started as early in my childhood as I can remember and am not sure why, I was bullied at my primary school but the food thing started way before then- I binged even as a tiny child. I did have a chaotic home life, wasn;t neglected or unloved, but did experience some emotional and physical abuse and witnessed a lot more towards my mother and a sibling.

Mawkish Shame is one of my triggers. Intense shame and self doubt. And dealing with other people. Anger is another trigger, as is emptiness.

HeAteAFatball interestingly I've just replied to your comment on another thread, and I suspect our triggers are similar.

I have issues around shame and low self-esteem too, and like you I've used food since childhood.

It's tough isn't it?

Mawkish I am 23 stone and have sleep apnea and PCOS. I have been told by doctors that unless I deal with my disordered eating I will be dead by the time I am 50. I am 36, and feel this does not give me a lot of time. I have tried diets. I did start to get some recovery in OA and I do still have a sponsor and do meetings but I have gone from being abstinent and losing 15 kilos to falling off the wagon again. I hate myself.

to you too and thanks for your kind respons eon my other post.

I have started following a fasting regime - look up Dr. Jason Fung. I’ve realized that I quickly become overfocused on food and actually find temptation easier deal with if I’m in a fasting period. I don’t have to decide what to eat - it takes the decision away from me. It’s still challenging - just this week I described a glass of red wine and a piece of cheese and bread as being like “someone giving me a warm hug” - but this is helping me.

HeAteAFatball it sounds like you're working really hard to turn things around. I really believe you'll do it.

And please don't hate yourself. You sound lovely. You've been through a hell of a lot.