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Please, please help me decide the right thing for our family

5 replies

hotstepper4 · 30/09/2018 09:24

OK, bit of background. I have a dh, a ds8 who is with me 50/50, and a dsd10, dss9 and dss5 who are with us eow and dh picks them up from school Tuesdays, keeps for 2.5hrs and then his exw picks them up.

Currently, we live 10 miles from ds dad and ds school, and just up the road from dhs dc and their school. We've been here 3 years, and it's mostly been good.

I have a few health issues, notably moderate to severe tinnitus which has severely impacted my quality of life, noises bother me and its given me bad anxiety. This is all relevant.

Recently, a new neighbour has moved in, with her two dogs. This has been a nightmare. Her dogs bark all the time and my anxiety is sky high. They wake me up at night, and once I'm awake I'm awake all night. I'm verging on depression. We've tried talking to her, the council have written to her, nothing works. I hear her in her garden encouraging the dogs to bark because she likes that it upsets me.

We have no money. We get by fine but we have no savings. We couldn't afford to move at this time without getting into debt.

My dad lives close to my ds. He lives with my dbro33. They have 2 spare bedrooms and have offered them to me and dh and the dc. However, my dad is an alcoholic and they do no work around the house. As in, nothing. I would have to do everything. Plus, I worry that dh wouldn't feel at home, and on the Tuesdays he collects his dc he would now have to sit in Mcdonalds for 2 hours. We would still be able to have eow as we would have room. We could also save money.

My dmum says I'm being selfish to consider it and I'm putting my needs over that of my family but I honestly feel like I will have a breakdown if I stay at home.

Thank you for reading and apology for no paragraph, I'm writing on my phone.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thistles24 · 30/09/2018 09:27

I can guess it sounds tempting to escape the noise, but I don’t think it’s fair on the children.

Bunnybigears · 30/09/2018 09:31

Living with your Ddad sounds like it would be horrendous! Do you have a mortgage or are you renting at the moment?

hotstepper4 · 30/09/2018 09:32

We rent. I know it wouldnt be the best but right now it feels that none of my options are open

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AnotherEmma · 30/09/2018 09:32

Do not move in with your alcoholic father!!
Keep complaining to the council about the barking. If your neighbour is a tenant you can complain to the landlord. You could also report to the RSPCA if you think the dogs are being neglected.

Are you renting? Assuming yes, talk to the council about housing options, you may be able to apply for social housing because of the impact on your health (although you’d only be entitled to 2 bedrooms which wouldn’t be enough for your stepchildren as well) or you might be eligible for the scheme to help with a deposit for moving.

Bunnybigears · 30/09/2018 09:38

Can you not find somewhere for similar rent? How much debt would you end up with if you moved? It still might be worth it for the sake of your health.

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