Finances and moving in - how would you organise this?

[movinginandmovingon3]

Hi all - collective wisdom required! I've namechanged btw.

Moving in with BF of 4 years in a few months. I have an 8 year old DS. I'm very out of touch with finances and what the done thing is these days so here is the situation -

I work PT. Current income is about 1400 a month but this is increased with tax credits. when we move in together i will lose all benefits bar child benefit and income will drop to £700 ish. i don't want to work full time really as i think it is very important to be there for my son after school etc, especially as he will be changing schools, and moving over an hour away from family (we have very close family ties.) BF has always been aware of this and been fine about it. I also receive £160 a month child maintenance.

BF owns his house. earns a decent amount and works full time.

BF is very responsible and good with money - I am terrible. Freely admit this!!

How would you sort finances?! Should I pay my wages into his bank account and him pay bills? do i contribute a certain percentage?!

any advice welcome.

Bump

Have you discussed it with BF? Not suggesting that there isn't excellent wisdom in this area here on MN, but I'm interested to know what his view is, or whether he's expressed one at all. You definitely shouldn't move in until you're both 100% clear on who's paying what (I know you know that already).

To add: I suppose the options are

Split everything 50:50 (doesn't sound like this is feasible)
Arrange it so you're each left with the same amount of spending money each month (this would probably mean BF paying for everything)
Each contribute the same percentage of your income to shared costs

When you say BF owns his house, I am guessing there's a mortgage, rather than he owns it outright? (The latter would simplify things!)

One other consideration: given that you presumably currently pay rent and bills which you won't have to pay once you move in with him, what will the overall financial effect of the move be for you? -£700 a month in income, but what's the reduction in outgoings?

When my DP and I moved in together we earnt very different amounts. We opened a joint bank account (I know this isn’t for everyone) and paid in an amount split by how much we were bringing in. So when he earnt 70% of our total income we split it 70/30. When later we were earning the same we split it 50/50 and adjusted as income changed. In the total costs we included things like food, petrol and travel, not just basic bills. It worked well for us.

Honestly you need to speak to him he may well be of the mindset bills etc are paid out by him and you pay a chip in amount my husband was happy with this i probably pay 20% of bills and then we both pick up food shops etc and hes happy with this as i earn about 1/3rd of his wages.
My husband likes everything on a spread sheet in front of him when hes talking about anything financial as it just goes in one ear out of the other and makes more sense written down could you do a comprehensive spread sheet showing your outgoings incoming etc and explain it that way might be easier as 40% and 20% means nothing really in just words.

Yes will definitely speak to him, of course! Just wanted to delve the depths of mn wisdom!
I'm actually living with family currently - I pay £70 a week. Very cheap I know!