How often do you see your siblings?

[morecoffeepleas]

OH brother has made a point that I never got invited to this boxing event in November because he barely knows me and has only "met me twice" but everyone has been invited.

We live in a different towns 30 minutes drive away but we both obviously have busy lives.

I barely see my siblings but would still invite there OH regardless the amount of times I've met them.

I see my sister (who lives about 15-20mins away) about once a fortnight and my brother (who lives just under 2 hours away) about twice a year. We see dh's sister (about 25-30mins away) about once every 2 month and his brother (about 1/2 hour away as well) once or twice a year.

A boxing match doesn't sound particularly intimate though - I'd have thought it was a "Do you want to come? / How many tickets do you want?" type of do at which people you don't particularly know would be quite welcome. Like a BBQ, rather than Christmas day dinner, which you can see is a bit more 'close family'.

How long have you been together with your OH ? As people use the term differently.

Just over a year I've just had DD and had a horrible pregnancy so missed a few family parties.

He organised the tickets and accommodation and transport there all bringing there partners so OH would of been the only one without his partner.

Is everyone else bringing their partner? If it’s a couples event then I can see your point but I wouldn’t think twice about siblings doing something together without other halves.
Personally I hate the thought that couples can only ever do anything together, I’d find it claustrophobic.

I have 2 sisters. One similar age to me one 12 years younger. I speak to them both pretty much daily and see them both at least once a fortnight. The one similar age I see more often as our children are similar ages and the younger one is late teens and just started uni, is out with friend etc. But yeah we're very close

OP, this is your second thread on the same subject. Why is it bothering you so much? Did you really want to attend the boxing match?

I see my sisters once or twice a year, and I've never met either of their longterm boyfriends. I've only met my brother's wife three times, including their wedding.

Aw! Cross posted. I can see why you are a bit
It’s not very kind of him. After a rubbish pregnancy and having a baby it’s easy enough to feel isolated and a bit raw, without being excluded. It’s a shame your DP didn’t speak up for you, he didn’t have to be confrontational, just assume you were invited “Ooh that will be great! I’ll check More will be up for it.”

@Poulnabron I would of gone if I was invited I just can't get my head around them inviting OH and him being the only one without his partner.
It seems so malicious

'Malicious' seems somewhat OTT, if there aren't loads of other things you haven't told us.

All kinds of reasons - maybe he could only get X number of tickets / maybe he'd had to book them months ago / maybe he didn't think it would work, what with you just having had a baby / maybe it genuinely didn't cross his mind as he doesn't really know you / maybe someone told him you didn't like boxing or didn't want to go. I can't say I'd get worked up about it - just let it be known that you'd like to come next time or whatever.

I live 100 miles from most of my family. I see my sister maybe three times a year - Christmas and sometimes when I visit my parents she'll pop round to see my kids. We didn't really phone/text each other at all until I had my kids, now we go through phases where she'll text a couple of times a week for a bit, then nothing for six months (she's like that with everyone though even my parents). We get on well enough but we're hardly close.

My brother lives 250 miles away and I see him once every two years or so, if he visits briefly over Christmas. He never ever phones or texts me or our sister unless one of our parents is in hospital or someone died. Only sees my parents twice a year or so. We get on well when we see each other but have nothing in common beyond our parents tbh. He obviously can't see the point of keeping in touch regularly for no reason (his words) so fair enough by me!

My mother used to put us all against each other as kids, constantly comparing us and would tell one what another had said about them (often made up). Now she's disappointed we aren't closer, wonder why?

If you've only just had a baby he probably assumes you can't make it, plus you've not attended other family parties (despite it not being given your fauot)and he's only met you a couple of times he most likely didn't think he needed to invite you. Has your oh told him you want an invite?

Sorry op I didn't answer your question! I have one sister and if we go a week without seeing her it means she's abroad somewhere. We speak or message most days.

I see my sister every couple of weeks and we will go for a weekend away a couple of times a year. We also see each other when visiting mum and she makes extra visits to see my DS when she has time.

We are close though. We were not close as kids! She's one of my best friends- 😀

3 brothers - I see one about 4 times a year (45 minutes away) another probably once a month as he comes to me to see that dogs and DD and the other brother I see probably every other month if I happen to be in the area.

We're all more than happy with how often we see each other and we keep in touch about the day to day stuff via messages and Facebook.

I see my younger sister a lot - 2 or 3 times a week. She's one of my best friends! But the rest of my siblings, it's more around 'events', although we do have a family group chat thats used daily

I can understand not inviting you to everything but if everyone else is invited, I do find it a bit off that you haven't either my brothers latest girlfriend is always invited to events, even if we've never met her. It's just fair. Unless there's issues with him and your OH? I would feel a bit crap tbh

I have one sister , who lives 1,000km away from me. I only see her if I go there, since she won't fly and doesn't like long drives or the train. My previous visits were uncomfortable and unsatisfying due to her odd personality , so I see her about once in 5 years. We speak about once a month on the phone, and see each other's posts on FB and Instagram.

At least weekly for my sister with lots of texts and the odd phone call, couple of times a year for DH brother

@scarlettoftheseas I'm the same I see my sister often but rarely see my brothers but they are much older than me and we don't have much in common except we share the same parents lol!

I would still invite there partners though regardless on how many times I met them. He just booked the tickets a few days ago and never mentioned to OH they was all bringing there partners.

I just feel stupid now doubting whether I should go to there sons birthday party next week.

About once a year or so (but he lives 6,000 miles away, so that's pretty often all things considered ... !)

Why feel stupid ?

So you have been invited to their family do next week ?
If you don't go to that, then that would be odd. Surely that is your chance to start getting to know them.

It sounds like they feel snubbed at you missing the parties. You know you had a horrible pregnancy and that's fair enough, but if it hasn't been conveyed well, why you couldn't make them, they might not understand and feel pissed off. Them only inviting DH is really mean, I'd be hurt by that, but there's more behind why they didn't invite you.

I think calm, honest, dialogue is needed and I wouldn't let it slide, it seems there are hurt feelings for some reason, this needs sorting out and putting to bed.

Good luck!

@BackforGood DS has been invited it's a kids party I would of just gone along. I don't want to go if I'm not wanted there kind of thing.
His brother had said things about me before so it's already an uncomfortable situation for me.

My DB, about once every few years (he lives on a different continent).

My SIL (DH's sister) about twice a year (lives 3 hrs away).

Wouldn't expect to do anything with either of them other than arrange to meet each other IYSWIM. Wouldn't get invited to events they were going to (nor would I invite them).

I have not seen my brother is around a year. Primarily because I moved cities. We used to spend time together weekly but he drinks heavily and constantly asked me for money. He has mental health issues as do I and I supported him but when I needed support he refused. I lost touch because he never charged his phone or put credit on it and he moved. A friend found where he is living in supported accommodation and I'm reluctant to contact him because all he will want is money!!! I love him to bits, he can be really funny and good company and I will contact him eventually but need good responses to when he asks me!

My brother lives 250 miles from us so i see him about twice a year. He and his wife work shifts and were so busy over here there us rarely time.

It suits me TBH.

I'm one of 6, and we're all very spread out geographically. I try to see my sister every couple of months, as we're incredibly close and I enjoy her company. I don't generally take DH when I visit - I think it's nice if it's just dsis and I for the weekend, gives us a chance for a proper catch up.
I've got four older brothers - I see three of them two or three times a year (all of them are 4ish hours drive away). Two weeks ago, I went to stay with my brother for the weekend without DH, which was lovely. I spent some time with DSil and my neice during the day, then DBro and I went out for a few drinks. We don't get much time together, so it was great to just hang out for a bit.
I have a fourth brother that I see once or twice a decade, but frankly that's too often for my liking. He's a complete fucknugget though, and I'd never voluntarily seek his company. I've never met his wife, although she has my total sympathy.