What can I do for my dd?

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Posted last year if this sounds familiar.
Dd now yr1 at school and is ok but doesn’t have any ‘good’ friends she’ll play with anyone which I think normally would be a good thing however in my dd’s Year there are very few girls.
The girls have been pairing/grouping off since end of foundation where my dd didn’t want to go school she felt left out.
Starting year 1 she seems more positive but again it’s becoming more apparent that there’s lots of play dates after school and she’s not being invited.
Annoyingly for me as many of those girls have been invited to our house and not reciprocated (and I know they don’t have to but surely if your child’s been to someone’s house numerous times you’d invite back)
I feel sad for her she’s ok at the minute but as time goes she will notice like she did last year that she’s not part of a friendship group.
What can I do?

Hi, OP. Are there any school clubs that she can join? DS is the same age and isn’t really one for play dates etc, but I wanted him to be more comfortable with making friends in a slightly different setting. He was in one club in reception which he enjoyed and has started a new one this year, which luckily he’s also getting into. Maybe a slightly different environment doing an activity she enjoys may help (if the school offer it)? Or are there any clubs outside of school which may help boost her confidence and take away from not being in a friendship group just yet at school?

Thanks Mrs good points I started her at 2 school clubs recently and one club outside of school 6 months ago. The outside one has been helpful I think she’s the baby of the team and the other girls are encouraging her a lot.

And rainbows too which a lot of the girls from her year go to but again tend to pair off.
Such a shame we specifically moved to get her into this school

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Should I speak to the teacher

How about Beavers? The mix of boys and girls might be less impenetrable. I have a 6 yo DD, who largely plays with boys. She told me that big groups of girls are “too silly”.

If she shows signs of being upset, I don’t see the harm in mentioning to the teacher that she feels left out or is struggling to fit in with other children when it comes to playing. She’s still very young and at that age, they still have so much to learn about socialising. DS has a friend that he plays with constantly now, he says the they both “train” together. I asked him to explain and he said “oh, we do running and push ups so we can be in the police”. I don’t know where that has come from but it’s a little girl - he isn’t bothered about making specific male or female friends.

Thank you it’s so hard to know what to isn’t it. Last year I held back until the end then felt annoyed that I’d not got involved more sooner.

I don't thinks there's any harm in speaking to the teacher about friends and whether she can be supported in making friends.

My dd1 was a bit like this. The things I did which helped were having a lot of kids over to play whether or not dd1 got invited back, making a big effort to be friendly to parents, and having big birthday parties where I invited the whole class (meant dd1 was generally invited back to parties). Dd1 is just starting y3 now and has a nice group of friends, including a reliable best friend.

Can you organise a social event so you can get to know the parents of the other girls? E.g. a coffee morning or a picnic in the Park after school? I have found it helps to know the parents, and you may make some friends too

Otherwise definitely speak to teachers, ours will encourage children to use the buddy bench & have nurture groups etc

My DD (also Yr1) is a bit like this so I am watching with interest. There are more boys than girls in her class too. There's a group of girls that has stuck together like glue since almost the beginning and DD says she is scared of one of them. I don't think this other girl is a bully...apparently it's just because she "never says hello to me"!

We've had a couple of play dates with other girls who are also slightly on the periphery but I have noticed that other kids seem to have play dates every week! Sorry, I know that's not much help but at least you know it's not just you!

Thanks all.
I am friends with a lot of the mums but that doesn’t seem to help much :(
Beeblot hope things improve for your dd soon.

If you are friends, could you ask them about it?

Otherwise, I would focus on school being one,very small part of her life. Get her into outside activities in the hope she will find her niche. My daughter rides for example, this is her passion. She likes school (was home ed for a few years but chose to go back) but it isn't the be all and end all.

I did think that but it feels awkward one friend did was organising play date in front of me this morn

How about taking some small toys in 'to share with your friends'. Something like hatchimals and if she makes one friend, buy that friend a small hatchimals so they can bring them in and play together.

Cheap art and craft stuff to send in to share or loom band bracelets or I've sent in £1 unicorn bracelets to make (a slap band and you put unicorn stickers on).

My DD didn't make friends until year 2. As soon as I realised that these little girls were into key ring cuddly toys, I bought one for them all and they all bonded over their shared hobby. Year 5 now and she still plays with the same group of girls.

If it’s any help, I’m not friends with any of the parents at his school at all - a passing hello is about it. I’m just not that sociable, and that’s about it. Encouraging her to talk about things she enjoys with other children, or getting her to find out if any other children like similar things to her might help too. A shared interest is always a good start in a friendship too