Are you happy? Is it a realistic goal?

[AtlasQueen]

I was talking about this with a friend this weekend; she was saying she never really remembers a long period of her life where she has been happy and that it's an unrealistic goal for her. The best she thinks she will ever be is content but has made peace with that, and that society places too much expectation on us to seek happiness.

This makes me sad but then I've had periods of my life when I have been happy so still hold out hope for similar periods again. I'm very lucky though in that my MH is more in control than hers, for which I attribute to genetics or brain chemistry rather than anything I do or don't do.

What do you think? Are you happy?

Nope, far better to have an interesting life

Nope, far better to have an interesting life

"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question."

I remember that quote from university days, which made me think (privately) that I'd far rather be the pig/fool. I also sucked at philosophy, which made me feel both foolish AND dissatisfied!

I think of happiness as fireworks, and of contentedness as the warm, constant candle burning in the window (as a PP described happiness; to me - happiness is more than that).

I wouldn't want to be happy happy all the time - I don't think it's either sustainable or desirable.

It means there are no moments of joy, of extra feeling, nothing to look forward to.

Genuine contendedness is much more desirable.

I am content. As I settle into middle age and evaluate my life, there is nothing I would change (wouldn't say no to a lotto win, but who would?). Aside from the loss of both my parents too early, there isn't anything I would seek to improve.

I think I am lucky though. I had a happy (yes, more than content), peaceful, loving childhood, and I think that is make or break for most people, and sadly, also out of most people's control. You can bounce back from most setbacks if you have a rock solid mental health base.

I remember DF telling us that we didn't know how lucky we were. We absolutely didn't - we isn't even really know what he meant. I truly do now, though.

hela you think happy people don’t have interesting lives?

Why not?

I've been happy since 21 and I'm now 30. I hope it continues forever. We shall see.

My favourite quote is ‘Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.’

I agree with pps that it comes from within; it is a choice, an attitude.

I also think I am happy because I have been very lucky in life; so it’s easy to appreciate what I have. I’ve also experienced great grief, which helps to give me perspective.

I think of happiness as fireworks, and of contentedness as the warm, constant candle burning in the window

I like this quote

'Being content' is enough. Good enough.
I think 'being content' is something that most people actually don't have/can't achieve. Not that many people manage it.
It's a viewpoint, a state of mind, being comfortable in your own skin. Not that easy for a lot of people. Many people don't come from a loving family, happy childhood, inner self confidence. If you have those, then you have the foundations to cope when something bad happens.
Mn reminds you how few people actually have those foundations.
Thus gives you a reality check, to be grateful.