I’ve accidentally done something awful to ds- he is being amazing about it.

[BertrandRussell]

I just wish he would shout at me or something!
Specifically- I missed an email from school, which means he missed an incredible opportunity he’s been looking forward to for a year. No excuse- completely down to me. I’ve apologized, and he has accepted it beautifully. But I feel like shit. Can’t talk to him about it because he has to deal with the reality and it would be self indulgent to ask him to make me feel better.

How disappointing for him. Is it somehing you can reenact for him out of school?

Can he go on a waiting list?

Be proud of your son and when its not quite so raw tell him so. I have dine similar and my son reaxted so much better than i wojld have done!

He is an amazing human being - be proud! I'd react like that now as an adult but I'm not sure I could have as a teenager, what a lovely boy.

No- it was a one off- nothing I or the school can do about it. in the gaps between me feeling guilt ridden I am incredibly impressed by how he's reacting. Even if shouting would make me feel better!

What a lovely boy. You should be proud, though I know you feel awful. There'll be a chance to do something else with him in time.

First of all, we all miss things and make mistakes, so don't be too hard on yourself. Secondly you raised him and if you are proud of his response it is, at least in part, down to how you taught him to be. So think of all the times you clearly got it right to make him this amazing boy.

Now for practical, tangible help or reward. Can you recreate it or something similar, even in a smaller or less elaborate way? If that really is unachievable, can he do it next year? And in the mean time discuss something he would like to do, plan it together, and make it as special as possible.

P.s. my kids aren't as old as your son yet, but I hope when we get to that point that I am as honest and open hearted with my children as you are. And that they are as measured and accepting as your son.

1. Be proud of what a lovely person he is.
2. Come up with a lovely treat for him. (Save up if necessary.)

It’s absolutely crap that they only notified you by email. If it’s so important I’d expect a letter and phone call too. An email could easily end up in your spam folder or be missed.