need to work - cant afford not to

[back2workblues]

can anyone help me - I cant see the way out of this situation.

I have 2 children, one at school, one who is just 2. I need to go back to work after a few years of not working but I cant seem to find a job that I can make work out. I dont want to go full time in my old professional role but cant see how I am supposed to get on in a part time more low paid role.

I have seen a basic admin job advertised which is 5 days a week - 8.30 - 12, but it seems like the cost of childcare will be more than I earn. I'll need to pay for every morning in a nursery from 8 and also before club for my older one. I have no idea what I will do in the holidays too as i wont have enough leave to cover it so i will have to find something for the older one / or both if the baby can go to this preschool i have found which is term time only. and i dont know what I will do when they are ill.

Also this sounds totally selfish but i am worried I will go to all that effort and it will be totally boring!

is this really what people do?

Are you entitled to tax credits? Because you could get up to 75% of your childcare costs paid.

Do you have space for an Au-pair? If you have 3 bedrooms i would definitely look at your children sharing a room to make space.
They usually do max 25 hours a week. For your 2 year old i would still use nursery, but an au-pair could cover say 7.30-9.30am which would allow you to get to work and they could then drop eldest to school at 9am saving before school club, and then drop 2 year old at nursery at 9.30am and collect at 12 until your home.

In the holidays they could cover the whole time as many would love it if they worked 25hrs during the holidays (8-1pm), but only say 15 (7.30-9.30am, plus 12-1) in term time. Especially if you can find somebody who would like time in the afternoon to study Cost would be £70-100 per week depending on your location. They could also cover the odd morning when eldest is off sick if they are too sick for school, but not ill enough you need to be with them.

This is why I don't work...I've come to the conclusion that you either need family support or a very highly paid job so you can throw money at the situation.

Can you subcontract in your previous profession? If you could get a higher hourly rate working from home, that might work.
School holidays are basically 11 weeks a year so two parents can just about cover it with annual leave and a bit of support - although that means no family holiday together.
I’m a single mum so my ds goes to summer holiday club. I use childcare vouchers to get the cost down a bit, plus his dad sometimes has him for a week in the summer.
Pairing up with another single mum helps too.
But a NMW job won’t cover childcare. What about training as a child minder yourself?

Thanks for replies. It would be easier not to work but dh wage only covers just about daily living costs not fixing car and no way holidays. Also I had a good job and have a degree etc it seems a shame to chuck it all away completely.

I guess part time in my old job would be best but it doesn't seem to be possible to find one.

I'm not sure I would leave such smlchildren with an au pair. Is this what people do? My friend has a nanny but that is clearly out of the picture on this sort of wage.

Back - an au pair isnt trained or experienced like a nanny. Hence my suggestion of an au-pair just to cover the drop offs and pick up extras, and use nursery for 2 year old still a few hours. I would leave a school age child with an au pair though.

A nanny really would do everything regarding children, from wholesome food, education,medical trips, and daily everything. An au-pair is to feed them basic food, and keep them safe. For somebody like you who would only be looking for part time care from an au pair, this would be enough. If you find somebody reliable who can give then breakfast, take to local park or play indoors or in garden, and make a sandwich for lunch its fine. You or your husband are around to actually get the children up and mainly ready, you are around all afternoon to actually do things like homework,reading, take to random places, dinner and bedtime.

An au -pair is suitable for those only needing 3-5 hrs per day basic care, dropping off to school/nursery etc. And in exchange, you provide accommodation, basic pocket money and freetime for them to attend English classes and experience English culture. What they arent suitable for is when people use them 7am-7pm as cheap childcare instead of paying a nanny.
You may not want to use now, but its definitely something to consider in a few years when both children are school age but you need say 8-9am and 3-5pm covered

good luck

If you can earn more than your dh how about you work full time and he SAH or works around the DCs?

I think what I would do in your position is try really hard to find a part time job in my previous profession, if I really couldn’t I’d take a full time job then then try to negotiate something like 2 long days, 2 short days and a WFH day. Keep looking & negotiating until I was happy with the hours or could work for myself.

You’ll need to work far less hours in your actual profession to earn the same money and presumably then you won’t be bored either.

I’d probably keep looking for a part time opportunity until the youngest was 3. I’d rather tighten the purse strings and be at home a little longer.

Take a full time job in your old professional role and then from their look for or negotiate a part-time role. Our family lost money when I returned to work initially when the kids were little (because of childcare costs). But it was an investment in keeping me in my professional role and a decision taken as a family. Now I have an interesting well paid career that I can week part time hours and is flexible...

Sounds like the holy grail - I guess that is why they are hard to find then. :(

I'll keep looking

+1 for hettie's post

Take the short term pain, for long term gain. Don't be the one to sacrifice your career, pension, earnings just because you were the one to give birth.

Could you set your self up as self employed and dictate your own hours to suit school and nursery? I do this as a carer/ companion as an example.

Can you not work and just live more frugally? Give up car if you have one. The stress of it all doesn't seem worth it. Remember the added costs of working like buying lunches and travel and work clothes.

if you worked full time would you and your dp be able to work flexible hours to cover off drop offs and pick ups to nursery/breakfast and after school club? Could you ask for reduced hours after a while in post?

I've worked FT since my dcs were 2, it was very hard going, expecially when they were sick, but it is doable if you need to.

But full time would mean I would never see my baby.

Plenty of women work full time and still see their children. If you can’t afford to work part time, then it’s a luxury you can’t afford to do.

This is why women don't give up their jobs. It's shit, but if you need the money you go back to work after mat leave and negotiate hours as best you can.

I know. I used to nodded sagely and make sympathetic noises when people told me how lucky I was. However, I'm not just lucky. I thought about the long term. I have professionaly qualified friends who gave up work then really struggled to find anything 8 years later. They had lost confidence and seemed to be too inflexible about needing a part time term time only role (instantly despite not working in their field for years). I took a year off for both kids and retrained during the early years. I spent many many weekends and evenings studying in our freezing cold back room. We were skint and dh had to play sole parent for large chunks. People may say I was 'lucky' to have such a supportive dh, but tbh it wasn't luck. I would never have had kids with someone who didn't believe (and act on his beliefs) in equality and team work....Marry a feminist.
Could your dh not step up and change his working hours, compressed, part time...? Don't do a boring job, find a good childminder look for roles in your old industry, use kids holiday clubs/ swaps with friends. Excell at work then push for compressed hours/part time. You've got 30 odd years of work, do you want to spend it doing boring admin? More to the point what would you do if god forbid dh got run over by a bus, could you sustain your family on your part time admin wages?