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Original poster

How common are fights in secondary schools?

16 replies

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 25/09/2018 11:08

DD started y7 3 weeks ago. She loves it and has made a good group of friends. She’s mentioned twice though that she’s walked past 2 fights in the park next door on her way home between girls in her year (2 different girls each time, both fights broken up by teachers). Is this usual for secondary or have I sent her to a rough school? She says everyone behaves well during school and she feels safe, but I do worry! Will it settle down?

OP posts:

OutPinked · 25/09/2018 11:21

Very, I’m afraid. I went to the local comp and it was very common then, almost a daily occurrence. I have friends that have taught secondary school and regularly had to break up fights.

Original poster

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 25/09/2018 11:27

Any tips for how to help dd avoid getting drawn in? I went to a very small secondary (intake of 40-50 a year) and this never happened!

OP posts:

steppemum · 25/09/2018 11:36

well, both of mine are at grammar schools, and fights are very uncommon.
At the girls school, pretty much unheard of, and I think the school would come down like a tone of bricks.
At the boys school more common, and when ds year went through a spate of fights, the school came down hard and had parents in and took a tough line. Some of the fights happened outside school, in the local town, and the boys (fighters and watchers) removed their blazers and ties and hid them so no passers by could tell which school, as they knew school would take serious action.

Didn't work, and school took serious action.
The fights pretty much stopped afterwards. That was year 9 or 10, and there hadn't really been any up until then

steppemum · 25/09/2018 11:39

I'm pretty shocked actually that year 7 girls are fighting after school. I really hope that as teachers broke it up, that they took it seriously.

With ds, when the spate of fighting was happening, I told him clearly that I would have even less mercy than school if he got involved.
He got involved. He had to face my wrath as well as the school.
He has never been involved in a fight since.

Talk to your dd about what the girls are doing, and see if she knows why. Talk to her about successful ways of sorting problems, about why fighting is such a bad idea.

QforCucumber · 25/09/2018 11:41

at my school I saw 3 in the 5 years i was there. At DP's school it was more like 3 a day as there was another school nearby and they had a 'rivalry' as he puts it.

PatriciaHolm · 25/09/2018 11:45

Well - neither of mine (yr 8 and y9, different schools) have mentioned seeing any.

ClothOnASloth · 25/09/2018 11:54

DD is in Yr8 at the local comp.

The only fight she's ever seen was at the very beginning of Yr 7 when two boys in her year were fighting on the school field. It was taken very seriously by staff and, as far as I know, it hasn't been repeated since.

The day-to-day arguments tend to be petty squabbles about who said something about someone else or who looked at someone else "the wrong way". It usually ends up with one small group of girls ignoring a group of girls for a day or two before suddenly becoming best friends again.

There also seems to be a bit of jostling for position at the beginning of Yr7. Some of them are used to being top dog at their primary school and then realise that they are now with several other children who each had that same position at their own primary schools. That's when the sparks tend to fly a bit!

Original poster

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 25/09/2018 11:57

Apparently the first fight was over girl 1’s boyfriend kissing girl 2. The 2 girls were best friends from primary.
Dd doesn’t know what the second fight was over. She doesn’t really know any of the 4 girls, and plans to keep it that way, though one is in her pe class: dd has already mentioned she was someone she was staying clear off!
Dd walks home with a group of 4 girls who all seem pretty sensible. They crossed the road to keep away from the fight. Apparently those in the gathering crowd “got in trouble” so I assume those involved did even more so.
Have I picked the wrong school? Dd loves it and says the teachers are amazing...

OP posts:

Trampire · 25/09/2018 11:59

Entirely depends on the school I think.

My dd is in Y9 and says she's seen a fight in school about once a year (so that's 2 so far!). One was boys and the other girls.

However, the school a lot of my dcs friends went too have fights regularly - about 3 a week both in school and out (one of reasons I didn't want them to go there!)

I went a comp in the 80's and a fight was a huge event. Quite rare though, maybe one every 2 years?

Trampire · 25/09/2018 12:03

I don't think you've necessarily picked the wrong school. From parents I know and things I hear from my dcs friends, fights in Y7 often tail off. I lot of it is Y7's going a bit mad thinking they're all grown-up and in 'relationships'.

One of my friends ds's though got into fights in Y7 and 8. Always over boys. She moved to my dcs school in Y10 and has been no trouble at all!

As long as you dd stays out of it all it'll be ok.

Trampire · 25/09/2018 12:03

I meant dd not ds's.

AhhhhThatsBass · 25/09/2018 12:08

I don't think you can generalise. I very much doubt you'd see two young girls fighting at Cheltenham Ladies College.
Perhaps I am wrong.
I've only ever seen two women fighting and that was back in 1994 and let's say, drink was taken.
I have never seen young girls fighting.

ClothOnASloth · 25/09/2018 12:09

If the on-lookers got into trouble too then I'd say you probably picked the right school. It sounds as though the staff are really clamping down on the behaviour.

Your DD has shown she's got a sensible approach to it by steering clear of the fight. The fact that she's enjoying her time at her new school is a very positive sign that you chose well!

steppemum · 25/09/2018 12:17

If the on-lookers got into trouble too then I'd say you probably picked the right school. It sounds as though the staff are really clamping down on the behaviour

I agree

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 25/09/2018 12:17

Well mine have just started in Year 11 and Year 10 and there has never been any ‘fights’. Ever. So does depend on the school I guess. I am aware, from others, of some bullying issues that got dealt with effective and swiftly, seems to be something they do well.

notacooldad · 25/09/2018 12:21

I work with young people who go to every school in my Borough.
I am shocked at how things have changed. When I was at school there was the occasional school v school fight. That doesn't seem to happen in our area. However the number of girls fighting and it being videoed and put on YouTube horrifies and upsets me. I am being shown videos weekly and the girls just shrug and say ' well, she's a slag anyway!' Awful!

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