Crap - money for wedding present

[wowfudge]

I hate it when wedding invitations state the couple would like money rather than presents (unless it's a cultural custom) "if you want to give something" because I feel you have to be seen to give a certain amount. Do you think I can ignore this and give a non-monetary gift instead? I've known them a long time and they've been mortgage free for a couple of years now if that makes any difference! Plus we are cash strapped at the moment so it's going to be difficult not to look stingey if we give money . Argh!

If it is a 2nd marriage I don't think that gifts or cash are expected at all.

They did say IF you wanted to give something. You don't have to.

I got married recently and God you do get given some nonsense.

I didn't have a wedding list so assumed people wouldn't bother. I should've said no gifts as now have to get rid of it. Very annoyed!

Quite honestly I don't understand why a couple, who have paid off their mortgage, would expect any sort of gift. If you want to get married, can afford a nice reception/party for your friends, you don't need gifts. The last wedding we went to was the second for our friend and the third for his wife. They were very comfortably off, had plenty of nice holidays .... why would they 'need' a silver photo frame or £50 stuffed in an envelope. We didn't give a present, I don't know if they took offence. They are still friends with us.
More people should make it clear that presents are not expected.