To tell or not to tell?

[NotoriouslyLate]

MIL has told me something that FIL did, does, that is illegal. I have no idea why she told me but it isn’t guilt, he’s been doing it for years.

Do I tell the authorities? I can’t prove it (though it is easily proved if someone bothered to look into it) so I don’t even know if the police would anything on my say so.

I don’t know what to go with this information.

Why did she tell you? I wouldnt tell unless it was abuse or murder.

What is it he’s done? Is it serious or something like smoking abit of weed

Obviously I don’t want to put it here even though I’ve name changed. If he were caught, at best he’d lose his job (using works vehicle) at worst he’d go to prison. Lives could be in danger. Sorry to be dramatic but what he’s doing isn’t safe as well as illegal.

If he's drink driving then yes I would report him.

Drink driving?

Tell your DH

I told DH, he is ignoring it. He says not to answer the phone to MIL as he wants to be low contact with his family. I think he just has his head in the sand.

Changed my mind. If its putting other peoples lives at risk- like narcolepsy eyesight problems then Id report to dvls but you need his numberplate. If its drink driving. Yes I would but youd have to know when for them to arrest him obvs. Imagine how youd feel if someone were injured or worse? Does yr mil want you to report him? Cant understand why she has told you. Its down to yr conscience really but shes put you in a difficult situation and they will know its you. Plus fil may find out mil told you! Or she may not admit it but maybe thats why cos she wants you do it.

Never thought of that. Unless she is a good actress though I don’t think she wants me to tell as she doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know why she told me.

I’m sure it won’t be just me who knows. Stuff makes sense now that (ex)BIL (DH’s sister’s ex) used to say years ago so I think he knew.

I’ve told DH I’m not going to visit them anymore or have them here because I don’t want to associate with them. DH just said fine.

How can you just give half a story

LondonLassInTheCountry who to? The police?

No..
To us

Oh.

Because I don’t want to say what he’s done on a forum while I’m processing what to do.

The point is he’s breaking the law.

I think I’ll ring someone tomorrow with the information. I can’t sleep through worry.

Sounds to me like he is shifting some illicit gear in a firm's vehicle.
If it's on the level of weapons or girls being trafficked, I'd report it, if it is a few televisions or handbags intended for Harrods, though that is wrong, I probably wouldn't.

Presumably the people for whom he is performing this service are thugs, so dangerous, but he knows the risks.

Your MIL shouldn't have told you, imo.

Isn't there a law about aiding and abetting? Or perverting the course of justice? Now that you know, can you prove that you are not an accomplice?

She shouldn't have told you as it is your problem now.

How would you feel if he did lose his job and there was a court case?

Couldn’t give a damn if he lost his job or went to court. I don’t know why I even asked what to do, it’s obvious I should report him. I had a wobble because it’s hearsay and ExBIL knows I think ( no contact with him anymore, and anyway, not his problem) and I’m surprised he didn’t report because they were terrible to him, keeping the children from him, lying to as etc. So perhaps he did and nothing could be proved.

If you have genuine concerns call the police. Without further details we will struggle to offer advice as it could be anything from fishing without a permit to performing sex acts in his company car whilst spying on women. You seem sensible op, good luck.