Is putting 'dinner party' on an invitation uncouth?

[Tailfeather]

I'm getting an invitation designed for my husband's and my joint 40th birthday. We're having caterers in and we're planning on canapés and cocktails followed by a 3-course supper. Would I invite people to a 'dinner party' or just invite them for supper or just invite them to a party?

(I do realise this isn't a massive issue in the grand scheme of things! But google hasn't helped, so I'm just looking for some opinions).

Thanks!

This thread has made me so happy. I long for a world of At Home cards.

You do need to be specific though, I think MM18’s suggestion above is perfect.

I have received many, many invitations - mainly weddings - with Carriages at XXpm / midnight on them. Definitely still a thing!

IsTheRainEverComingBack apparently the world you long for does exist because mammmamia is living in it!!
I have received many, many invitations - mainly weddings - with Carriages at XXpm / midnight on them.

I never get At Home cards though sadly

Am I the only one who is reading this thinking op has to send out a true Hyachinth Bucket style invite for a Candelight supper?

Celebration dinner at home

mammmamia oh no! The illusion is shattered

Food makes it sounds like buffet stye

I think you should say 'dinner' instead of 'food'. Food might just be canapés.

Agree 'fun' does sound a bit like a swingers party!!

Drinks and dinner would be fine imo

'At home cards'

I don’t understand what an ‘at home card’ is
You send all of your friends a card saying ‘at home’ why??
Is it the 1800’s version of ‘checking in’ on FB?

I still see invites to dinner dances and weddings with carriages at midnight on them...or actually I don't think I actually do remember the last time I saw that....10 years ago?

Good grief. Fun with friends sounds very sexy.

I live in a rural town in the US. People already think I'm like something from Downton Abbey with my posh accent (actually a bit London and not that posh at all) and strange offers of cups of tea to tradesmen (stopped doing that because they all thought I was coming on to them.)

They'd all think I'd utterly lost my shit if I started the at home cards. I'm very, very tempted.....

”You send all of your friends a card saying ‘at home’ why??”

And by sending it through the post, chances are by the time my mates got a posh card informing them I was at home, I’d probably be out...

Last 40th I went to was similar but invitation did not mention dinner. It was lucky friend mentioned it in passing otherwise I would have gone to dinner having eaten already!

I like MM18’s

If you’re gonna do a proper posted invite you might as well do it Really Properly.

Ha ha. Members of DH's extended family use "at home" cards. I find it unbelievably pretentious. But I'm sure that says more about me than them. It's still ridiculous though.

I think there are enough options to help the OP to decide on invitation format.
Just for clarity At Homes are fairly plain printed postcards with name and contact details.
We use them for

• supper parties where we’d just write Supper 8pm (no carriages for suppers - hopefully the party continues a good while).
• special meals; Mr and Mrs Bloggs At Home then handwritten ‘For Freda’s farewell meal 7:30pm’
• coffee mornings - Obviously you just write ‘Coffee 10:30am’ unless it’s a fundraiser when you’d add “Coffee 10:30am for Macmillan”.
• Parties where it might be - At Home “Barbecue and dancing 8pm”.
• Drinks where it might be At Home then handwritten “Boxing Day Drinks 6pm”.

They’re useful and generally well understood - even in this century! People know to RSVP, event is clear and there are no misunderstandings and no great fuss about style of invitations.

If you want to be formal, the invite should look something like this:

                Sir Tailfeather and Lady Tailfeather
              request the pleasure of your company
                      at a dinner to celebrate their
                                 40th Birthdays
                           on Xday, xxth Month
      at The House, The Street, The Town, The Postcode

RSVP Cocktails
email / mobile 7pm

Bother, did spacing and centred it all, but it has been lost!

RSVP and Cocktails are at either side of the centred text above it.

I love this thread and suggest it's moved to classics! Cherry, you sound very grown up!

Cherry's just not an uncouth slattern like most of Mumsnet is. I imagine her in a floaty jumpsuit like Margot from The Good Life.

Just use your usual ‘at home’ cards

It is at tricky one this.

Should one take etiquette lectures from someone who claims to have a hot tub?

OP: Key content is the basic details of the event - times, place, format and in this case the reason and possibly dress code. Formality of event is then reflected in the wording and medium. You have caterers, cocktails, canapes and a three course meal which isn't an informal supper even if it wasn't celebrating the hosts (and therefore definitely not At Home!).

MM18 format is the style I would use.

no carriages for suppers - hopefully the party continues a good while

What in God’s name does that mean? Carriages?

And no carriages? Lasts a good while? So nobody actually goes home? Not even carriages for the next day?

Us rough folk are confused.