FIL driving me mad

[FurrybutDeadly]

hello
I'm nearing the end of my first maternity leave and I've realised my FIL has been a pain throughout. I know I sound horrible but here are my issues

1 He never phones before he calls round. We order lots offline so I answer the door expecting a delivery and there he is. If I tell him it's a bad time he stands on the door step going on. I should close the door but I don't

2 He has a knack for phoning my DH at stupid times i.e. 11pm at night to talk about his new bathroom or phoning when the HV is here.

3 He goes on and on about being isolated and his health etc it's boring

4 When I arrange things some say less isolated he phones at 11pm the night before to pull out

DH has spoken to him numerous times but to no avail. I'm actually starting to dislike him and I'm not answering the door so I have no idea what I'm missing lol. I want to facilitate the relationship with his GC but I'm fed up of unannounced visits!

What has your husband actually said to him? I would just keep on ignoring the door. Hopefully he'll get the hint as annoying as it is

Get a ring doorbell so you can see whose at the door on your phone

He does sound very lonely, and the pulling out of things at 11pm the night before could mean that he's stewing over the next day's activities and getting nervous about it.

I can understand how you feel too, he's making his social life consist of you and your DH, whereas ideally he should have his own social circle.

Easy to say but harder to put in place, he needs to find a social activity that doesn't involve you or your DH but if he's already calling off planned events then he'll find reasons not to go to that. Tricky. :(

I know he needs a social life but everything that's suggested he puts obstacles in the way. He has 3 other children but they live further away and one of his daughter in laws is difficult about visitors anyway so he keeps his distance. I don't want to be like that but I'm going back to work soon part time and I don't want him calling round here on my days off.

Also he's asked not to do things but he does. Last week baby had something potentially infectious so we banned visitors for a few days but he turned up. My DH gives him lifts to appointments etc on days off and he moans about the driving and the route etc. He's just ungrateful. I am trying to like him but I can't at the mo

3 He goes on and on about being isolated and his health etc it's boring

Bloody hell op. That’s mean.

How is it mean? I listen and sympathise which is more than most people do I have health issues that no one knows about as I don't want to moan about them

We do had a baby may I add. It's annoying when someone is banging on the door while he's asleep. Sorry this is cathartic