Would you go full time or part time in my situation?

[StephenKatz]

Very quick back story, I'm a single parent of two children. I have no family support and have shared custody with my exH. Until recently exH was claiming all available benefits for both children. He has finally relinquished this and allowed me to claim for one child whilst he claims for the other so it's more fair.

I work part time (20-25 hours) in a professional role, and have been struggling financially for the two years I've been divorced. I've gone without food and heating whilst the children were with their Dad as I couldn't afford it. They are not aware of this (too young anyway).

I'm now in a position to apply (and have done) for Universal credit, and have been awarded a decent amount. Obviously I'd get more if I claimed for both my children but then exH would get nothing.

At the same time, I've been offered another part time job. Same pay and status, and my employers have offered me days that fit in with my existing job. This obviously doubles my wage and also doubles my working hours.

When I worked out my childcare bill (bearing in mind I pay for two children but only get Universal credit for one), and my reduction in Universal credit award for extra wage, I am only going to be better off by £130 per month.

Previously £130 a month would've been a monumental amount, but now I get assistance on top of my wages I can live safely on my part time hours and have money left over to give my kids things like swimming lessons.

I know I'll be called a benefit scrounger, and I may well deserve it. But my marriage was abusive, and I escaped it. It continues to be a toxic interaction and my anxiety around my children is huge (I'm seeing a counsellor for this). I find the thought of reducing my time with them hugely by working double the hours when they're with me very very hard. I'm anxious they'll hate me one day for working so much when they're only with me 4 days a week anyway. I hate that I'll be rushing and stressed.

What would you do? Career wise I always have the option to go full time in my current job in the future. And it's a lovely job. But the new one opens new development doors.

I'm so confused

Part time all the way

Part time for now.

Thank you for reading, I hadn't realised how long and self indulgent that was

Definitely part time while your children are young. Maybe aim to go back full time once they're older.

What was that about your husband getting nothing? I didn't understand that.

Part time for now

When will childcare fees reduce and when they do will it make a difference? If very short term I would increase but if a whole off I would stick part time

Stay part time for now.

Is there the option to go full time in your existing role?

Sorry just seen you can go full time in the future.

Part time for now.
You and your dc's mental and physical health are what's important here.
They will need you a lot when they start school too.

They're both actually at school already, apologies if it was misleading. They're 6 and 9 years old.
What I meant about exH getting nothing is that we both can't claim Universal credit for the same children. So for ease he claims for one child and I claim for the other.
I can't currently go full time in my existing job because I job share, but the lady I job share with is planning to retire in the next couple of years.

Part time, be there for them if you can afford to be, however your income is generated the most important thing is being there for them. In 9 winters they'll be 18 and 15 and you'll never get this time back x

Part time, sadly the benefit system doesn't incentivise full time work. I've looked at full time myself and when I factor in child care costs I end up with the same so it's pointless for now

When you say shared custody, do you mean 50% of their week is at yours and the other at ex husbands? If not and they spend more time at yours , you cover illness, childcare when not at school etc I most definitely not be letting ex h claim for a child, I’d be claiming for both my children .
How is his maintenance payment to you divided up? For one child only??

Gohack They spend four days with me and three with him. There is no maintenance. There's no way I could get to claim for both, he'd fight hard and dirty and I don't have the ability to deal with that right now unfortunately.