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My 10month old seems to prefer her auntie over me?

1 reply

Kp789 · 21/09/2018 20:34

First time I have posted. But i am feeling concerned and down over the past few weeks.

My little girl is 10month old, when she was born I gave up work so I could spend all my time with her. Every week day however, we go to her aunties house; my LO (little one) likes to watch and play with her children and me and my sister are really close. So it's been a win/win situation. My LO (little one) and her auntie have a really good bond, which i have always really liked. As i know my LO (little one) feels comfortable with her auntie if i ever need to leave her with her. But over the has few weeks I have noticed she is very attached to her auntie. For example, if she hurts her self or is frightened of something (the dog or cats), she holds her hands up to her auntie, not necessarily me. And sometimes when she wants comforting, she will seek her auntie, not me. Or just when I am walking around the house with her and she sees her auntie, she will hold her hands out to be held by her. Today in particular has really upset me and making me feel like I am not good enough or doing something wrong. I don't know if I am over reacting, because recently she has been a bit different in general. Pushing me away and putting arms out to others, but then doing the same to them, and putting her arms out to someone else. It's so confusing. I just don't know how I can make our bond stronger? Or if I am reading too much into it, or is this just a normal phase? Help!

OP posts:
CrazyOldBagLady · 21/09/2018 21:26

I'm no expert but have a son this age and read up on developmental milestones. From about 7 months onwards they understand the concept of 'object permanence' which means they understand that just because they can't see something/someone they know it still exists.
I wonder if your daughters clinginess to her aunt, who she is close to, comes because she knows that she has to leave her aunt's house and her aunt behind and not be with her any longer. I'm sure there's no way she can be mistaking her aunt for her mother or prefers her to you. I think she is just expressing that she loves her aunt and misses her when she is not there.
I'm sure your bond is very strong anyway, but maybe you could plan some fun things to do with just the two of you and play, explore and have a laugh together to make you feel better about things. Soft play might be good for her if she is crawling, or a sensory play session, aquarium, park or just some nice games at home?

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