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Original poster

Work related problem

13 replies

AliL123 · 21/09/2018 19:26

Hi there.

I recently started a job a few months ago. I work with a guy who I immediately clicked with and we had to go away for 2 nights on business (he is married). Nothing happened but the conversation flows. Our friendship is very flirtatious and we are always play fighting at work - like people who have crushes at school do to each other! Every single person we worked with have questioned if we have slept together or not. We obviously havent. On a work night out again we play fight and gave each other piggy backs etc (all very childish). Mostly all our conversations is like flirty banter and everyone sees it.

Recently someone at work is convinced we are sleeping together and wont let it go, im conscious my partner and his wife will find out about this rumour (for obvious reasons I cant talk to my partner about it). We both agreed we just treat each other like friends.

I dont get why everyone else sees us as more than just friends or are we just kidding ourselves and maybe deep down do have feelings for each other? Just too scared to admit it?

Any help would be much appreciated as Im finding the whol situation extremely confusing.

OP posts:
daphine2004 · 21/09/2018 22:35

If you became aware of your partner being friendly with a female in the way you are with your colleague what would think?

Also would you act in the same way if his wife or your partner were in the same room?

If either of those answers give you pause for thought, then you might need to reconsider that friendship, unless you’re both willing to move on from your current relationships.

ScreamingValenta · 21/09/2018 22:38

I dont get why everyone else sees us as more than just friends

You've answered your own question:

Our friendship is very flirtatious and we are always play fighting at work - like people who have crushes at school do to each other!

On a work night out again we play fight and gave each other piggy backs etc (all very childish). Mostly all our conversations is like flirty banter and everyone sees it.

Sorry10 · 21/09/2018 22:42

friendship is very flirtatious and we are always play fighting at work - like people who have crushes at school do to each other!
On a work night out again we play fight and gave each other piggy backs etc (all very childish). Mostly all our conversations is like

Stop doing as above and no one will think you are shagging .
Sigh do you really have to ask ?

Blameanamechange · 21/09/2018 22:49

Its not normal to give work colleagues piggy banks or flirt. You are treading on thin ice here. Whether you have feelings for eachother or not nip it in the bud now. You know what yr doing. You may be just feeding eachothers egos. Think of the fallout. Do you not want to risk losing yr partner? If yr not bothered then thats a separate issue. Dont hurt yr dp or his dw plus possibly lose yr jobs over this. Its not worth it OP.

HoleyCoMoley · 21/09/2018 22:55

You're right OP, it's very childish, if you want to behave like a couple of loved up teenagers do it in private, it's embarrassing for colleagues.

Justabouthadituptohere · 21/09/2018 22:58

ConfusedBiscuit

flossietoot · 21/09/2018 23:00

It isn’t normal to give work colleagues piggy backs. If you are anything over about 22 it is actually really pathetic. Wise up.

BackforGood · 21/09/2018 23:04

I have to agree with every single pp.

Pumpkintopf · 21/09/2018 23:09

You and your colleague are both behaving very unprofessionally. If you want to keep the respect of the rest of your work team I'd suggest you start behaving like a grown up.

MissLingoss · 21/09/2018 23:10

Our friendship is very flirtatious and we are always play fighting at work

I think I'd find this very annoying if I worked with you. It's inappropriate in the workplace. Start behaving like an adult and stop putting your colleagues in a position where they have to witness this inappropriate behaviour.

lexi727 · 21/09/2018 23:24

Don't think I would be massively impressed if my DH was the man you are talking about. So probably cut it out, because it's very obvious why your behaviour is causing people to talk.

If you have feelings for him - end it with your partner. If he reciprocates, then don't become the OW. It will only make things worse for his poor DW.

HoleyCoMoley · 22/09/2018 10:35

I would be mortified if any colleagues of mine were playing giddyup on a night out, seriously what are you thinking. Better be careful you don't get any injuries.

daffodilbrain · 24/09/2018 10:24

I'd say grow up and start acting a bit more professional.

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