Tell me when your bolsters stopped bolting and how

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

Today DD was nearly killed when she dashed across the road into the path of a car, luckily it’s a 20s plenty but it’s rhe second time the same thing has happened when I’m turning to get her backpack to clip on.

She’s 2.5. We stopped using reins 6 months ago. We sometimes use LL backpack. She’s just started to bolt again past two months so reins are away to get used again.

I also have a 11mo and we have just shelved the double Buggy as it was heavy and now we have a lite weight stroller.

When does it get better? I’m sorry, my brain is fried, I am shaking, both are now napping and o have nobody around to speak to or hug me. My brain is like a smashed egg.

Poor you, that's sounds massively stressful. I've no useful advice to offer as my one DC never bolted. It must be a lot harder trying to manage more than one small child at a time.
Just out of interest, what sort of consequences have you given to the toddler to make sure she realises how seriously wrong her behaviour was?

It’s probably my fault but I’m carrying out denying her her favourite programme now and she is now on the sofa post tantrum.

50% of the time she stays with me and takes my hand, as soon as she is tired or beligerent she bolts.

I’m at my fucking wits end after today, there was a poster many moons ago who lost a twin in an Alalmost identical situation I think

I don’t see anything wrong with a reigns backpack in this situation.

When my family went to Disney World years ago, my mum made my youngest brother wear one of those wrist strap reigns because she knew he’d run off if he saw mickey etc in the distance. He was 8. She’d heard so many horror stories about child abduction at Disney.

I have no idea when it ends but I plan to use the reins whenever we go anywhere until I am 100% certain that I'm not going to lose a DC! Just when you think you've got them figured out they change... I don't even trust hand holding, they can be slippery! With another little one to look after as well it's just too hard to be thinking about them both all the time. I know a childminder who uses them for all the preschool children as a policy, she doesn't take any risks even if the child has never shown any signs of bolting. I think she has some that go around older children's wrist and then attach to the buggy she uses for the smaller ones - could that work?

It's a pain, admittedly - though it always feels like letting an excited puppy off the lead when we get to the park though

OP your DD is okay so get yourself a cuppa and don't give yourself a hard time. For now, give DD that extra monitoring and support in the form of buggy or reins, but know that she is OK, and you will be too.

Thanks guys

The wrist strap wouldn’t work and if you have a really strong bolter yanks them in such a way they may not be able to put their hands out when they fall - this happened to a mate of mine and her DD looked like she’d been ten rounds with Mike Tyson after the pavements edge broke her fall - and she fell onto her face.

A poster on a previous similar thread said that good reins will mean that should you need to yank your child they will float in the air, like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 😂

Ach, I’m laughing now. Still shaking like a leaf. And also a wee bit sad knowing that every trip out now will be a pitched battle plus it feels like such a retrograde step though.

I never want to experience what I did tidal again though, and that’s the second time. Just need reins reins instead of the little life as I’m confident she’s able to unclip clips now

I’m just going to bump this in he event there is a magic no-bolt solution for the more fearless toddler

I don't have a bolter but I do think that until you can be sure your DD won't bolt the safest thing is to get the double buggy out again....

Reins for now. When you’re in an enclosed park lots of practice of walking sensibly beside you, if she bolts the she has to hold your hand for 2 minutes.

It's a personality thing. I have one who never bolted, another who bolted until 3ish and another who couldn't be trusted at 4. Not what you want to hear - sorry!

The Toddlepak reins are very sturdy and have a clasp which is infuriatingly difficult to undo, I don't think a child could do it. They are not cheap though.

I'm with Slatterns, I think that a double buggy is "easier" than trying to push a pram and deal with a wandering 2-3 year old. Keep the reins on you in case you need them?

I know people who say there's an argument for smacking, when a child does something like this that puts their life in danger.

I had 2 under 2 (and then a third making three under 3!) We had a similar incident at similar ages to yours, it was awful. I would strongly recommend keeping the double buggy on the go for when you're out on your own with them. You really need somewhere to put them if there's lots of traffic/ they're tired, maybe as a consequence etc. Gives you more peace of mind.

My first was a runner but had stopped by 3, in answer to your question. Seems to get so much easier at that age. And they aren't all runners, you may get luckier with your younger lo.

@frazzledkate all going well we will be in your situation in the next few months and you’re right, the double buggy is still needed. I thought that giving dd the “independence”’of walking would be a good thing but the danger with having a small age gap between 1&2 is you make assumptions about the maturity of DC1 I know know aren’t fair and are being expected of her too early.

Feel like a right fucking failure BUT onwards, even if it means I’m gonna have to straitjacket DD into the double meaning upset for everyone.

@rainingcatsanddog you must have nerves of freakin’ steel

Buggy, for sure. I don't drive and I had a buggy for DS1 until I knew I could trust him which was over 3yo. And lots of practice in v quiet/enclosed areas.

I wouldn't smack as I wouldn't be sure that even that would deter an impulsive child in the moment so it would be pointless. You can't rely on a 2yo managing their own behaviour when it's a life or death situation so prevention is better than punishment/deterrent here IMO.

I know, the littleness of the younger one makes the older one look much more bigger and more capable than they actually are! But they're still tiny. Hope it goes OK. You're gonna love it in a few months when they play together

Would a buggy board work? She's more likely to hurt herself trying to get off it if she decides to bolt, but a lot safer than running into a road. You can sell it to her as her helping you push the buggy.

Mine has just stopped this and is 3.5.

I still wouldn't completely trust him but he has a bit of sense about him now, realised that roads are dangerous etc but most importantly running off seems to have lost its appeal.

I'm sorry, I know it's SO stressful. Just put her back on the reins or in a pushchair. She can't be trusted at the moment.

Buggy boards are a sore point, my incredibly stupid feet seem to zone in on them like a moth to a flame.

Sadly DD just hates ‘em. She just used to step off in transit; stressful.

DH still believes they are a solution though and I think they are ace....in principal.

Mine still bolts at 11, but he does have ASD.

The relatively NT teen was fine by four or so, though now she tends to stalk off with her hoodie flapping about the place, so they do rediscover the skill :o

Reins, backpack with reins, wrist straps & buggy boards here!

I think we stopped having them about age 5, but that was mainly because DC liked the backpacks& having control over their own drink bottles.

now she tends to stalk off with her hoodie flapping about the place, so they do rediscover the skill

I suspect DD will also do this; I can almost see the future now, plus she has a baleful gaze perfected already.

I hardly drink but am having a massive glass of wine tonight with 2 bags of crisps. And from tomorrow start the absolute no shit approach as I know when I bollocked her today it didn’t go in one iota. I suspect she’s still a teensy bit too young but seeing as she regularly shouts at me to walk on the pavement etc (we live on a closed road) she does understand that cars can be dangerous.

Ach, to hell with it, just gone attach a large cal to strip to her, one to me and that’s that.

*velcro

not “cal” 😡