Older partner

[Anon120]

Hi All,

My OH is 20 years older than me (divorced with two older children) and we absolutely are besotted with each other. The problem is that the topic of kids has come up now and we are slowly talking through the scenario and how we both feel about it. It has really caused me to look at everything in the future and it's a head vs. heart situation which has been emotionally draining.

I am very happy to continue on as we are - he a fit and active 48 year old with lots of life left in him! and we are so compatible in many ways I truly feel like I've found my soulmate. I just wanted to ask anyone if they had come across/ know of any support or help groups for people in a similar situation? It kind of breaks my heart when I think about things too much and as much as my friends will listen I feel like it is very difficult for them to fully understand. At this point, I would really love to meet some people in the same boat so we could talk things through/relate.

Thanks so much all!

I wonder if you are still here - if so let us know.

Do you want kids? Does he?

When you they are grown up he will possibly be in his 70s, instead of a second wind you will be looking after him. He might be at home on a pension while you are still working.

Lots to think about.

Hi, I was 37 and dp was 50 when we had Dd and he has been the most brilliant dad but the age gap wasn’t quite as big and he had not been through parenthood before.

she’s 14 now and great, she’s diagnosed with ASD which I think is more common with older dads, we wouldn’t do anything anything different but also I think a child-free life would have offered lots of fun and freedom and a chance to focus on each other. You both have to be onboard with a baby.

Op originally posted in 2018 so I expect she made a decision either way