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Original poster

Early puberty in girls

54 replies

UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 21/09/2018 10:28

I'm currently feeling a bit desolate, which may be over-dramatic but I'm sleep deprived so please be kind....

My DD seems to be entering puberty at 8 and a half (spotted early signs yesterday). I've spent the night reading about all the dangers of this (mainly psychological), and all the ways I might have caused it. I'm devastated for her, as she's not someone who finds life very easy anyway (borderline ASD, potentially, though that's another thread).

She's slim, active and not very emotionally mature. I just did not expect this.

Can anyone just hold my hand and help me keep it together, please? Positive stories of early puberty very welcome!

TIA

OP posts:
Touchacat · 21/09/2018 15:55

I started puberty early (early pubes, boobs and spots, lucky me Hmm) and I don’t think I have any psychological problems.... it probably depends on the child. Best not to make a fuss about the changes. She will be fine.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 21/09/2018 16:00

I got my period at age 8-9 (I say I was 8, my mum swears 9). My only advice is that you find out what she is comfortable talking about and stick to it. My mum discussed it with loads of people (like other mums) and I was mortified. I think young girls are a lot more comfortable talking about these things now but in the 80s I was very ashamed Blush

Bowlofbabelfish · 21/09/2018 16:06

and all the ways I might have caused it.

I’m a scientist - can I put your mind at rest on this one? It’s vanishingly unlikely that anything YOU did is causing this. If you’d like me to rebut/explain any specific thing you think has caused it please say.

8 is young for full puberty but not out of range especially for the very earliest signs, which can occur a few years before puberty really starts

Treatment to delay involves some very unpleasant drugs which have multi system effects, not all of which are reversible. It’s likely they would be used only for seriously early puberty (at 2-5 yo for example.) they aren’t something to be used lightly

plus3 · 21/09/2018 16:06

I took my DD at 8yrs to the drs because she had chest pain. As she lay down on the couch it was complete clear that she had breast buds Blushthe dr was fab, said 8 was on the early side of normal. She is now 12, periods not yet started but think they will soon - buds looking fuller, pubic hair etc.
I was hugely worried for the same reasons as you but it really has all been fine. It meant that we addressed periods etc whilst still in primary but it fitted nicely with the school were teaching anyway.

aintnothinbutagstring · 21/09/2018 16:10

I think puberty has quite a few stages, periods are the last thing to happen afaik so you could have a couple of years before having to worry about that. My dd started to get BO quite early, maybe 6/7yrs. She's 10 now and we have progressed to early stages of breast development and underarm hair. Dd is in yr 6 and in yr5 some of the older girls of the year group had started periods. The girls seem happy to talk about what they're going through which is a good thing.

legocardsagain · 21/09/2018 16:21

I started my period at 8. What made it tough for me was that my mum simply said, no you haven't.Hmm I took off my knickers and gave them to her and she said they weren't even my knickers.

No one else in my class had started yet so I felt pretty lonely for a while. But then I can also remember a girl at high school being teased for not starting yet at about 14.

I don't think I have been damaged in any way, but I do make sure I give donations of san pro to the food bank and also to local schools.

I'm sure your daughter will be fine with whatever happens, if she can see that you are comfortable and confident too.

ltsnotok · 21/09/2018 16:35

We were told starting puberty at 8 was only an issue if dd was relatively short as she'd likely stop growing in a couple of years. In those cases, they offer treatment to delay it.

someonekillbabyshark · 21/09/2018 16:38

My mum was 9 I was 11, my niece is 9 and showing signs, I explained it to her and just said 'that's gross' and 'I don't want to know' 😂

Betsy86 · 21/09/2018 16:46

Having the same worrried as you op so thanku for starting this thread and to all who answered x

DropZoneOne · 21/09/2018 20:16

Can I add a couple of things? Hope this is useful

BO - we tried various "natural" deodorants and those aimed at children. By far the most successful thing was switching from showering with gel to soap, for both DD and me! Obviously doesn't stop the sweating but did hugely reduce the whiff.

Preparation - from age 9, I got DD a Lillets teen pack which had some towels and tampons in. Meant she could open the packaging and take a look in her time and without any pressure. I got the Usborne book which we read together and she also read on her own, and she could ask me questions. I made myself available to answer anything and to reassure.

Once she realised her body was changing, the anxiety of when periods would start was far, far worse than the actual period. The anxiety caused tummy aches, tears, school refusal for 3-4 months. The day her periods started was very matter of fact "mum, I think I've got my period", and the anxiety symptoms disappeared! We had a cuddle, Dad went and bought a bar of chocolate, and we both played up the "you're still our little/big girl" rather than the "turning into a woman" speech my mum gave me. Because a 10 year old is still a child and deserves to be allowed to be child-like no matter what their body is doing.

Original poster
UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 22/09/2018 08:54

Really useful Dropzone - thanks

OP posts:
wrenika · 22/09/2018 12:37

I wouldn't panic. I had a pretty onset puberty and started my periods when I was around 9/10. It was inconvenient because primary schools had no sanitary bins but it has had no negative impact on me long term. Honestly, it was one less thing to worry about when I was a teenager! (This was all 19/20 years ago now so I don't remember that much about it but nothing traumatic sticks out!)

Branleuse · 22/09/2018 12:43

breast buds at that age is normal puberty. Not particularly early. It can be a while between that happening and other signs

Original poster
UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 22/09/2018 14:53

I so appreciate all these posts - thank you very much, all. Feeling so much more able to deal calmly with it all.

OP posts:
0AliasGrace0 · 22/09/2018 15:09

It can be worrying can't it?! My DD has had the symptoms of puberty (pubic hair, BO, arm pit hair, greasy hair, mood swings and spots) since she was 5 courtesy of premature adrenarche. Once I got over my initial panic and we had a diagnosis I've found being very 'breezy' about it the best way forward. DD understands that your body changes as you get older and hers has changed slightly earlier than others. She knows about periods and what to expect.

I've just been very factual and listened to her concerns (poor sod gets fed up of the sore spots but enjoys choosing new razors Hmm). She's just turned 8 and been discharged from the paediatrician now as they won't intervene at this age. I was very very upset at the start but it's our normal now, it takes time to adjust. I don't feel she's been damaged by it Thanks

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 22/09/2018 15:48

Please try not to worry. It is young but not unusual and it is simply nature taking its course.
I had my first period a week after my 8th birthday and I don’t think I’m psychologically damaged for it ;)
Just be ready and supportive for when it happens.

Btw you might want to check out Lilets - they do a “younger” range of sanitary products. I found, as a small 9 year old, a lot of the normal ones were all a bit too big for me.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 22/09/2018 15:52

Here you go. You can even buy a little period starter kit to have just in case

www.lil-lets.co.uk/products/teen-range

Original poster
UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 22/09/2018 18:10

Thanks TheHodge, glad you got through it all ok.
OAlias, that must have been tough. Sounds like you've all handled it brilliantly though!

I think, oddly, I was sort of expecting her personality to transform/suddenly get older the minute anything like this happened. And then, now I've calmed down it's clear she's just the same little girl playing with her animals and dolls!

OP posts:
CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 23/09/2018 13:33

Oh yeah, and don’t focus on the “turning into a woman” thing too much. It’s a bit much to face when you’re still (possibly) only 8 years old.

Original poster
UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 23/09/2018 23:52

Yes, am taking note!
Thank you.

OP posts:
madmomma · 24/09/2018 00:22

My eldest started with breast buds at 8 and was having periods at the end of year 5. Tricky times but not the end of the world. She'll be ok. Lots of comfort and care as I'm sure you're already doing. Who'd be a girl eh? She's 21 now and I've a 6 yr old dd too. My eyes are fixed on her nipples lol!

Branleuse · 24/09/2018 08:01

having signs of puberty doesnt make them adult, so i def agree with avoiding all the "turning into a woman" thing. Theyre still very much children mentally even if they are very developed.

Original poster
UpsetNowPleaseAdvise · 24/09/2018 21:35

That's reassuring MadMomma, thanks. And yes, good to be reminded of that Branleuse. So blinking difficult, this parenting thing...

OP posts:
Keepingupwiththejonesys · 24/09/2018 21:43

Op at that age while its a shock I wouldn't be worried. I started periods at age 9, by age 10 I had breasts and underarm hair. I'm now in my late 20s and very healthy. I do have very heavy periods though that from age 13/14 have been managed with the pill. They are fine whilst im on that though. It may not be related but I am extremely fertile. I have 3 children that have all been conceived first month of trying and now have to be very, very careful. That's the only thing I've noticed though really.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 24/09/2018 21:45

Just to add, my mum was 16 when she got her period so it was a huge shock to her!