Which part of raising your child or children have you found hardest?

[bargainsgalore18]

Starting from birth, which stage was hardest for you and why?

This will probably vary child to child! I have 3 ages 2, almost 4 and 15. My middle child has autism so this has been a tricky year compared to her mellow baby days but my youngest was a very high needs baby and had undiagnosed cmpa which was hellish. My eldest can be hard work at times but her trickiest age so far was probably age 13. 11 was difficult too! I do think teens are harder to parent than toddlers though!

Theoretically you can leave them for stretches of time happyhappy but more often than not they search you out, in the shower, on the loo, trying to do some work, to complain, ask questions, demand stuff, blame you for everything that ever went wrong in their life, insist you remover their younger brother from their lives, demand money for computer games. And dear God the smell of Lynx, even if you don't buy it it ends up in your house anyway, scenting everything with the chemical tang of teen.

I still have young toddler twins so would say from around age 1-2 years was the hardest for me. It's still pretty relentless now, even though they can entertain themselves for a while.

It's sad as I'm looking forward to them being a bit more independent, but on the other hand I know I'm really going to miss them being cuddly, little babies

Age 0-3, we had to work but also had to deal with anxiety, colic, endless tantrums. DH worked long hours (longer than my full time hours) so I was on my own with two under 5 and very little help. Both turned out to have ASD, which explained a lot later.

Now at 12 and 14 they're delightful, and although we do have occasional teenage strops, they're nothing compared to the full on screaming tantrums they had as toddlers, when they found it impossible to express themselves and were incontinent until 4 and 6. The advice you get is geared towards NT kids too, not ASD ones, so we were in retrospect doing everything wrong. Despite that, they've turned out OK, incredibly!

0 to 30

Adult children.

One screamed for what felt like a solid year from 6 weeks old, that's been the hardest so far. Screaming babies make me very agitated and anxious. Now one is 10 but is acting like a teenager which is getting very difficult and I know it won't get any easier anytime soon.

Newborn.

I spent the first months quietly despairing internally that I had ruined my life, DH's life and DS's life (even though it had barely begun).

Everything seemed insurmountable. Solutions appeared to be created for people who could survive and still operate as proper humans despite no sleep. My baby was unwelcome by all and any overtures to overcome his issues with doing things other than clamping his gums around my nipples, day and night.

And I was reeling from the realities of birth.

It's all been a walk in the park from there, each stage easier and more fun than the last. He's 18 now. But I haven't forgetton how awful those first few months were. And I love babies. Am a complete sucker for them. But evidently I'm made for "hang baby back when things get demanding" babyhood, not the full time sort.

Them going in adulthood, by a million miles. You can guide them, do you utter best but once they've flown the nest and take charge of their own lives, you just have to stand back and watch. Sometimes the pride nearly floors you - other times when they're hurt or upset, you want to kill who did it to them. Having to just watch when they're making poor choices is utterly soul destroying at times..... especially forming relationships with people you don't think worthy of them. It's so so hard at times.

Toddlers and teens were a doddle in comparison but not while you were in that phase

1. The first few weeks when you’re recovering from the birth of a first baby and have no routine or sleep.

1. Toddler years from 18 months until 3ish.

1. Early teen years from around 13 to 16. I found my DCs all grew out of the Kevin the teenager phase just before they went off to uni and became nice adults.

Ha! The self-entitlement of a 16 year old. The selfishness (although, funnily enough, not in other people's houses)

Seeing my eldest develop personality characteristics similar to myself and trying to support them and help them understand so they never have to suffer the way I have. All the while still fighting my own demons.

The pre school years. It was hell on earth.

@MrSlant ok I'll get back to you on the teenagers in about 10-15 years.

I'm convinced my 2 year old is a teenager already as he's still awake at 10pm

It's not an age for me, but a feeling. The fear that arrived the second she was born that if I lost her I would not be able to live.

This

Good lord this is depressing!!!!! So it really will just get worse until we die 😊😉

The stage between about 2 and 5 when DS was extremely anxious. He would work himself up, stutter, refuse to try anything new and generally make a mountain out of every molehill he encountered.
As a supremely chilled out person I found this so hard to cope with or even begin to understand, and I fear I wasn't the best parent I could have been.
Today at 14 he's super chilled and needs to be encouraged to get worked up about anything

From 2-5 years. Especially when DS1 was 2 1/2 when DS2 was born, and yes started to deal with some intense anxiety. DS2 was a totally easy baby but trying to handle night nursing, full time work, nightmares, bed wetting plus trying to keep a marriage on track felt like I was living in a fog of irritation and seething resentment of my husband for most of it, because he didn't "get it" and I was really the only one trying desperately to juggle being a mum of two and a woman with a career (and a sideline in music).

Fuck me, it was exhausting, and tested my last nerve. I found that stage the hardest.

We're now pretty much out of it, DS1 turns 7 on Sunday and DS2 is 4 1/2 and they are the very best of friends. I love my job, I love my husband, my kids are happy. I've been told that the easiest ages are between 6 and 12, so once the youngest hits 6 we're golden

For me, toddlers/early years. Loved baby stage, love teens.

0-2, I have twins and they didn’t sleep and nursed around the clock. My (now) ex also made everything 10 times harder with his awful behaviour. It makes me so sad that I didn’t get to enjoy the first couple of years.
I have found the toddler years much easier and a lot more fun! (It’s crazy that being a single parent to twins is much easier 🤣) ... I’m a bit nervous about the teen years from reading the comments though!

All of it.

The only age I kind of look back on with fondness was about 4years old. Cute and funny, wanted to hold your hand but you could reason with them.

I am finding the teenage phase very hard. Lots of mood swings and tears and of course, I know nothing

0-3 was so relentless and intense. I couldn't do that again.
My teenagers are lovely -so far.

From when the hormones kick in. Everything before was a breeze

18 months, which is when they learn to exercise choice.

My second spent the whole time toddling around destroying things. We went on a family holiday to a lovely place and she developed a fascination with grids and storm drains. So I spent my holiday following her and watching her examining bloody grids. All the while thinking FML

Depends on what you mean by harder. Physically harder when babies and toddlers, though the working and ferrying about during the primary years also makes for long days with little down time. I probably disliked age about 7-10 and about 12-13 the most. the teenage years are harder emotionally and I think they really need you more than you think but I've probably enjoyed these years the best. I love seeing them grow and mature and spending time with them but I have been really lucky with mine (so far).

In many ways I wish i could go back to those younger years and redo them with the patience and understanding I have now. I think i'd be a much better parent 2nd time around.