Scared of flying

[Kittykat93]

Please help - I am flying to Amsterdam in two weeks and am petrified. I've been flying since I was 5 years old but the past 4 or so years I've become a very anxious flier and I'm dreading it. I hate turbulence especially.

Any tips to cope? I have lorazepam but don't want to be groggy when I arrive on holiday! Also not sure whether I'll be allowed to take it through customs.

Thank you

Bumping....there must be someone out there with some words of wisdom

Virgin's fear of flying course. Miracle cure for me! See if they have one asap!

What about mindfulness/relaxation apps?

Boarding last so less time on the plane? Or booking an up front seat so you’re first off.

Lorazepam is fine through security. Even 0.5mg is a reasonable dose though so will indeed make you groggy if you don’t usually take it.

Not that it reassures you but a plane has never ever crashed due to turbulence. They can even be struck by lightning and you’ll be fine.

For the future, most airports have a fear of flying course you could try.

A valium and a big glass of wine. I used to commute to Amsterdam every week, and you're hardly in the air for more than half an hour (assuming you're flying from somewhere in England). Up and next thing you'll be back down. Put your headphones on and listen to something distracting, or download and watch a comedy show on your phone/ipad. You'll be fine!

Okay I flew to Amsterdam in July. Never much liked flying but was going through an anxiety patch two years ago and ii transferred to flying. Spent a short flight in a complete state of angst.

You can do this OP.

I downloaded BA's Captain Steve Allright's Flying with confidence. Takes you all through flying etc and there is a section by a psychologist too.

Turbulence is uncomfortable but not dangerous.

I now let the pilots fly while I concentrate on breathing. The book focussed on Reacting to the fact you're nervous, regulate breathing, relax muscles, rehearse relaxed flight. The 4 rs.

I used an elastic band to snap when I felt stress, got breathing under control which meant that my body relaxed. You can't panic if your body is relaxed. My rational brain then kicks in and I rehearse in my mind how everything will end well.

Hour flight there and back. I'm beyond thrilled that I did it. I've had a hard time due to anxiety these past few years and I want to be in control.

Sorry, the original angdty flight was within the UK. The Amsterdam flight was my attempt to get back in the saddle

They serve nice lemon cake on KLM if that's any consolation. Cabin crew looked utterly chilled.

You didn't happen to become a mum in the last four years did you? Apparently that can be when fear of flying kicks off. Was for me.

Oh thank you so much for the responses , even just hearing words of reassurance really helps!! Definitely going to find a podcast or flying phobia course and try that out.

I also thought a plane could crash due to turbulence being bad (i know I'm not the brightest spark!!) so am very relieved to hear it's not a dangerous thing.

To the pp who asked - no, I only became a mother last year. However both of my parents passed 4 years ago which I'm guessing has triggered something off - strange that it's a flying phobia though!!

Thank you all, again x

Good luck, enjoy your trip. Amsterdam is lovely, we had fantastic food there (and not of the brownie kind!)

I've been to Amsterdam twice. First time we drove (because of my fear of flying) and 2nd time I braved it and we flew. Trust me, flying felt much safer! It really is the safest form of travel.

I have overcome my fear by taking Valium on a flight to Spain. The next time I flew after that (to Vegas!) I didn't need it. I think feeling calm once on a plane must have rewired my brain.

I would definitely recommend Valium though. It calmed my nerves without any side effects. Good luck! You can do it :)

OP, Boeing airliner pilot here. Turbulence is not dangerous but can be very, very annoying and rather uncomfortable. Modern aircraft are designed to be very strong and flexible and to ride through the turbulence like a boat on waves. They will not fall apart or flip over (no matter what you see posted on Facebook 🙄) or crash as a result of regular turbulence, even though sometimes it may feel very extreme to the passengers. The biggest issue from a passenger’s perspective is that walking round the cabin can become difficult (think back to the boat analogy) and it could take a while before the tea cart gets to you! Falling over or being scalded is your biggest risk, and that’s why we put the seatbelt signs on and ask the cabin crew not to serve hot drinks when it gets very bouncy.

There are 2 main reasons that it might get bumpy on a flight. Up at cruise altitude the winds are strong, forming jet streams. When we cross over or climb into those jet streams (which we do to gain the huge tailwinds that blow us along quickly and save fuel) the changes in wind direction or speed can cause turbulence. This is clear air turbulence and we can anticipate areas of it but not see it as it happens in clear air.

The other kind is bumps caused by flying through clouds, which is more often experienced on climb out or descent. Clouds are active things, the temperature gradients and moisture concentrations in them make the air within them move. Often we experience this kind of turbulence in the first and last parts of a flight - airspace is busy near airports and there are more aircraft about meaning that we cannot always fly round these active clouds. However our radar systems are able to see this kind of wet and active cloud so when we do see them we ask air traffic control if we can fly around them. When they are able to, they let us do that. These active clouds are very beautiful and I always love looking at them as we skirt round them.

@Backinthebox

Thank you so much for your informative post. Never really understood what turbulence was but what you've written makes perfect sense and is reassuring.

I'm saving all these replies and reading them at take off!!

Anxiety has a habit of hopping from one form to another. So if you are really stressed due to something it doesn't take much to develop a phobia in another area.

My condolences on losing your loved ones Kittykat

There is a book/kindle download for the book by Captain Steve Allright's and an audio cd. I also watched YouTube videos of take off and landing from a pilot's point of view. Used to be nervous of takeoff but much better now.

You will be okay. I was very protective of my elastic bands on holiday though!

Enjoy yourself. Focus on the lovely holiday you'll have. The pancakes are lovely, there's lots of culture and Artis Zoo is great fun.

I get Xanax from the doctor.

Thank you Backinthebox! Very clear and helpful.

The flight to Amsterdam is so short, you take off spend 20 mins in the air before you start descending! I’m terrified of flying too but Amsterdam has always been easier because of that. I always take a magazine to take my mind off it and never finish it x

Obviously that depends on where you are but I wouldn’t have thought it makes much difference flying from
Up north, down south, far west etc (of the U.K.)

You're all lovely, thank you.

So glad it's such a short flight aswell. I do love reading so going to find a really good book, have a large glass of wine at the airport and try and RELAX !!

lucky it was a smaller plane that I was on in the UK. I just felt more at ease in the bigger plane flying to Europe. Probably not rational but there you go!

I'm very far north in the UK so Amsterdam is about an hour. It's scheduled as 90 mins.

I understand the bigger plane logic, there’s less movement. On large widebody aircraft you hardly notice you’re moving.

I’ll be flying in an A380 (the double decker) for the first time next year. Sadly only economy but Emirates economy is pretty nice.

I looked at the safety stats for the smaller propeller planes and they are indeed safe. I need a few more holidays in bigger planes and then I can scale down again 😁.

I used the Headspace app for a month before I went on holiday and it really helped

Don't take lorazepam for Amsterdam, the flight is too short and you will be zonked out

I am/was terrified of flying, like you I have been flying several times a year since I was 6 but it got progressively worse. I would make myself ill with stress not to mention a show of myself by being hysterical before and during take off.

I know how safe it is, I know how I'm more likely to die from a donkey kick but I am out and out terrified. That's why fear of flying courses never appealed.

I had hypnotherapy last year and it's honestly been brilliant. I was so skeptical before, even during the session but I managed two flights with no tears at all and minimal anxiety in the weeks afterwards which was unheard of before. I flew earlier this year and I was anxious but still no tears.

I wish I had done it years ago

I have a friend who pilots long haul planes. I once asked him if he had ever felt scared or in danger in 15 years of flying. He said 'of course not, do you think I'd do it if I did?!!' He recounted the excellent engineers he works with and the 100% focus on safety by his airline. Safety first every single time.
Turbulence is just like a bump in a road and a plane is built to withstand much much more stress than turbulence can ever throw at it. In fact as a plane is designed to be in the air a plane has more stress on it on the ground than in any turbulence.