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Original poster

Can I go in to any church....

52 replies

namechangedyetagain · 20/09/2018 22:57

Or cathedral and light a candle for someone? Or two people actually.

I feel like i/they need help. Or guidance. Or something that will watch over them and me.

I would like to have some faith but I'm a bit cross at the minute and my belief has been rocked.

I'd still quite like someone to look out for Ds tomorrow.

I'm struggling a bit tonight.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 21/09/2018 01:17

Cathedrals will also have a priest on duty who will be available to talk to you if you need a chat with someone. Just ask the guides/ staff.

Rebecca36 · 21/09/2018 01:28

Yes you can if the church is open and is one that has candles. There are a couple of big Anglican churches near me that are open at various times during the day and have candles and one Catholic church not far away that used to be open all day, don't know if it is now.

It's a kind thing to do and will help you focus your thoughts. It's quite calming too.

MudCity · 21/09/2018 05:34

So sorry for your loss OP. As other posters have said, you can go into any Catholic Church and light a candle. Take some spare change to ‘buy’ one. If the church is locked, knock on the presbytery door and someone will let you in. Do feel able to ask to talk to a priest / vicar too. Doesn’t matter if it is not your local church or denomination. In my experience, they are pretty good at talking to anyone and will pray with you if you wish.

In my local Church they also have a prayer board where you can write a brief note about your situation and others will also pray for you.

The Church has been a great comfort to me at difficult times. I hope you also find comfort at this sad time. 🙏🏻

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Camomila · 21/09/2018 06:38

I'm sorry OP Flowers I'll light a candle for you today too

MalcolmsBrokenWalrusMoneybox · 21/09/2018 07:52

So sorry for your loss Flowers, are the examiners aware to take into account?

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 21/09/2018 08:01

I went into our local cathedral several times, to light a candle for a dear friend. There’s a sense odd peace in that environment and you can talk to someone or just be with your thoughts.

Best wishes to your son too.

educatingarti · 21/09/2018 08:04

I will pray for you too op. Your cathedral with a very tall spire will certainly have candles. In my view, God doesn't need the candle, he hears just the same wherever we are and however we pray, but sometimes we find the ritual comforting and helpful.
I somerimes think that places like cathedrals where there have been centuries of worship and prayer are what CS Lewis referred to as "thin places' where the boundaries between spiritual and earthly things are lessened and it is easier to feel and experience the presence of God.
I pray that you will feel his strength and comfort and that your son will know peace and strength to focus and do his best in his exam today.

squashyhat · 21/09/2018 08:08

The cathedral with the very tall spire definitely has candles you can light. It's a beautiful and calm space - I hope you find the solace you need.

NigelMolesworth · 21/09/2018 08:10

I'm going into my church this morning so I will pray for you and your DS too. I hope you find comfort.

Justabouthadituptohere · 21/09/2018 08:13

I’m not a Christian but will always light a candle if I’m in a church. I’ve found the larger churches have candles. Other churches I’ve been to have prayer slips and you can write on the slip and have a prayer said for you. I hope it brings you some peace and I wish your son well. Everything must feel so impossible now.

Justabouthadituptohere · 21/09/2018 08:14

The other thing I found is that there was always someone to talk to. Usually church helpers or even the Priest would be around. Always made me calm! Maybe I should be converting!

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 21/09/2018 13:56

Thank you all for your prayers and wishes. I went into the cathedral and lit two candles one for my brother and one for my son. I'm not sure how his test went but they don't make any allowances. What will be will be I guess.

It felt peaceful to be there quietly thinking about him. I think I'll go more often when I'm in town.

OP posts:
Tiggles · 21/09/2018 19:53
Smile Glad this has helped Will continue to pray for you and your family
ForalltheSaints · 21/09/2018 20:13

Yes you can. I have done so on the anniversary of my father's death, no matter where I have been on the day.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 21/09/2018 20:15

Hope all went well for your son today, namechanged

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 23/09/2018 22:10

Thank you. I don't think the exam went too well from what he said (and no retakes) but given the last 12 months we've had and in particular the last 2 im so proud that he wanted to have a go despite it all. His uncle was always so proud of him.

It's been month since he left us. I feel so sad. I'm not coping and nothing is helping. Not even god. Though tbf I'm a bit cross with God for taking dBro anyway so maybe that's why.

OP posts:
Tiggles · 23/09/2018 22:26

It's only a month, you will feel sad. Is there anyone in person there who is taking care of you? Letting you cry on their shoulders?

It's fine to get mad at God, he's big enough to take it.

willstarttomorrow · 23/09/2018 22:28

Yes you can (if they have candles). DH was
a lapsed Catholic and indoctrinated DD in this tradition to the extent that I believe we funded most Italian churches in our last holiday together. He died shortly afterwards and we now light a candle wherever we travel. Some churches do not have candles but may have a branch (for example) on which you can hang a tag with a message. I am not religious but was brought up within a faith and I appreciate that churches allow us to do this.

NoLeslie · 23/09/2018 22:33

Flowers I am sorry for your loss and your pain. One month is very recent and raw. In time I recommend Cruse, they counselled me following bereavement and it helped me a lot. Well done to your DS for sitting the exam. Whatever the result he is obviously a boy with a great attitude and that will help him regardless of what school he goes to (assuming it's 11+ or similar).

Thinking of you x

RiverTam · 23/09/2018 22:37

DH and I visit loads of churches and in my experience it’s more unusual to find one that doesn’t have candles than does. Although I’m not much of a believer I always light a candle for my dad. Sitting quietly in a beautiful old church, regardless of whether you believe or not, can be very beneficial.

MoorMummy · 23/09/2018 22:43

I’ll pray for you Op! I’ve been to Mass tonight and lit 5 candles , (25p each or 5 for a quid@- so I got one free)- so one of them can be for you and yours xxx

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 23/09/2018 22:49

Thank you. I'm waiting to hear back from Cruse but may try them again in the morning. I'm wondering what they can do for me though as the one thing I need, no one can give me.

He shouldn't have gone before me. I'm not strong enough to bear it.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 23/09/2018 22:58

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Be very kind to yourself. Give yourself time.

Fingers crossed for your DS.

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 11/10/2018 21:19

Oh my goodness your prayers worked - Ds passed his examSmile. He burst into tears of happiness and then immediately felt sad his uncle want here to share the news. He'd be bloody proud though. As am I.
I'm just proud of the young man he has become in the last few weeks regardless of exam grades. But it's lovely to have a happy moment, however fleeting.

OP posts:
dontblameme · 11/10/2018 22:03

Awesome news! God is good! Hope you are managing to cope. Flowers