No self control with food

[SpanishFly]

My relationship with food is awful. I could eat until I'm sick if I'm enjoy it something. I'm putting on weight but that's almost making me worse, as if "Oh well I'm overweight now so what difference will another one make?" type of thing.

Anyone have any tips on how to get out of this cycle?

I'm a yo yo dieter and am down 6 stone currently. I could feel my old mindset of, oh, what the hell, you know how to take the weight off again if you have to, creeping back in. I overeat, which is how I get fat in the first place.

Although I'm an extremely cynical person with self-help books, I was desperate and came across a book called Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingstone. As it is free (!!) to download on Amazon I felt I had nothing to lose.

I am so glad I did. I can't tell you how liberating using the tools that he suggests have been for me. I've not overeaten once since downloading it and that in itself is a minor miracle for me.

I have since found it comes highly recommended by others and think it might be worth you giving it a try, as I did, to see if it can do for you what it's done for me.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best of luck.

Watching this with interest, I am blaming my mirena for my binge eating and lack of control

I can behave like this, I have a binge eating disorder, I got over it by accident the first time and so didn't really understand that dieting was a trigger and when I dieted again many years later when I thought I was better it returned, This book helped
'Overcoming Overeating: Conquer Your Obsession With Food: Conquer Your Obsession with Food Forever' but it took a long time - maybe 3 years and this book was just the start of the journey.

Thanks for the replies, and I'll be having a look at those books tomorrow.

I Just feel like I have no control over any of it. I've got such an addictive personality. I never buy multipacks of crisps as I'd eat at least 3 bags in a sitting, and have regularly eaten family bags of crisps on my own.

I want to change these things, which I guess is the most important part. I work 40hrs a week and have a sideline business too, so food and wine is a reward and a comfort. I know this is not a good thing!

Try this. Changed my life.

Actually I started off with these people. They can be a bit draconian - but frankly you need it sometimes often because give an inch and take a mile when it comes to food. We're very good at kidding ourselves!

As signal says, it's been an ongoing journey for me. A long time ago I started off with this book (I can't seem to link) 'Why Can't I Stop EAting? Recognizing, Understanding and Overcoming Food Addiction'
by Debbie Danowski and Pedro Lazaro. It was a big step towards facing the problems I have with food - but it was decades before I finally got it that I had a big problem with food that I couldn't control. I honestly thought I could control it if something major happened. Not so, it turned out...

I really recommend 12 step. There is hope out there. You're admitting you are addictive which is half the battle (at least).

btw I identify entirely with the eating habits you describe - any compulsive overeater/food addict will

Neither would have got that way on purpose - just lack of control and things completely snowballing.

I simply don't agree Ah. Would you say to an alcoholic that it's all in the mind?

Addicts have extraordinary self control - just not around the substance or practise that is our drug. Which kills us, ultimately. If not physically, as you saw on the ward, then definitely psychologically.

Re 12 step (sorry to bang on) : no waiting list; no long and drawn out naval gazing with a professional (who most likely hasn't the first idea what it's like to be an addict, has just read about it in books); no cost. You can start it today by going along to a meeting.

Sorry but I really am a fan of 12 step - I would be, it saved my life. There's nothing like the despair of an addict desperate to be free.

Problem with the 12 steps is all that God stuff - I'm not even a tiny bit spiritual - never even really understood the concept of spiritualism.

It's not god stuff though - as in a religious God. It very specifically isn't a religious God but a higher power ie a power greater than ourselves. Which could be the sea!

It's a device, really, to knock us off the top slot. An addict is firmly ensconced on the top slot and it's a good discipline to step off the throne.

I don't get the higher being/power stuff - I have zero spirituality.

If you are an addict signal and you want to get free then try the spiritual stuff - as you call it.

Personally, I'd have tried anything when I was in the thick of it and couldn't get out. You have at least me saying 12 step works but there are thousands, millions, who say the same. It's so simple, such a simple premise. You wouldn't be the only one who has an issue with god/spirituality, most do, but people are prepared to give it a try and to find a way forward with something that works for them. I do stress the higher power of 12 step is not God, the religious God.

Not everyone likes 12 step of course. There is other stuff out there but as far as I know it's hard to access. 12 step is easy to access.

Spring I have dealt with my food issues without 12 steps - spirituality and god stuff is not something I can get past, I don't believe - it would be like asking me to put my faith in fairy dust - loads of people do though. Different strokes....

That's great signal! How did you do it? I'm interested in other methods..

Ime once I put down the food, other stuff popped up eg I'd never been much of a drinker but suddenly I was drinking rather a lot..

Then there's the dreaded internet! God/fairydust/sea have mercy

SpanishFly I have poor control over how much stuff I eat. My way of dealing with it is to change the type of food I eat, not how much of it I eat.

So now, I eat only whole foods that I prepare from scratch. Nothing processed - so no bread, pasta. No crisps, no bought cakes, biscuits, sweets or whatnot.

Instead I eat loads of vegetables (usually 7-10 portions a day), loads of oats, loads of pulses, nuts and seeds. Some fruit, dairy, rice, couscous, quinoa etc. And plenty of lean meat and eggs.

But... critically in relation to portion control in the context of this thread... I have as much as I damn well like.

I know I still have bigger portions than most other people would. But I don't care because while it's a massive portion, it's a massive portion of healthy food.

I know if I were to bake a cake, I could easily eat all of it. So I tend not to bake the cake and just shift my focus to healthy treats instead. Or if I do bake a cake I ensure the kids get their slice first. Because I know whatever left, I will eat it. But as long as I account for that in my overall weekly calorie deficit then it's not a problem.

I've managed to lose 7 1/2 stone in 9 months following this strategy. I feel fully liberated.

Thank you everyone. And weirdly me and dh were just having the exact chat about using the "eat as much as you like if it's healthy" argument. I've just done a grocery order full of prepared fruit and veg, nuts etc

OP Diets don’t work for you and me or anyone else with Binge Eating Disorder.

If you are in FB look up Beyond Chocolate....lots of info there. There’s also a book.

I’d also recommend Rebelfit too on FB although he can be a bit Marmite for some people. He pisses off Slimming World on a regular basis but is very funny when he gets going. However he is also very very evidence based about why we Binge. It’s all to do with seeing foods as good or bad and the all or nothing approach we take.

I’ve read an amazing book recently called Secrets from the Diet Lab by Sandra Ahmodt ....think that’s how it’s spelled. Look her up as she is excellent.

Huffington post also did a great article last week called Why Everything You’ve Learned About Obesity is Wrong” which again talks about why diets don’t work for so many people.

Lately I've managed to convince myself to not turn to food when I'm upset / pissed off. For example if I've had a terrible day and I'm like 'fuck it let's get a huge pizza' I'm trying to wean myself away from that, only get a pizza every so often for the taste..

I have an awful relationship with food which I've only came to learn that it's from my childhood and the way I was brought up with food, my mum is really fussy and just eats sandwiches and chicken Kiev's and sweets and an odd vegetable... she comfort eats and so did I, only in the last few years have I gotten out of that and actually enjoy all types of food. At my biggest I was 15 stone. I went to 11 and now I'm 13. It's really really hard, people don't realise how hard it is to get a new relationship with food until they're in that situation. I wonder will the curse ever leave me.

Overeaters Anonymous have meetings in more locations than FA, but I second the "use" of a twelve step programme. I have BED (psychiatrist-diagnosed) but in my case, it flares up in synch with how severe my anxiety and depression is. I am in the process of moving, so am planning to get back to OA, as I know it helps me keep in control.

I have eating issues and used to have bulimia.

I found that it was useful to, when I recognised I was starting to binge, to tell myself I could STOP. You can say it out loud, which helps. Then go and do something else, anything else, away from the food. Or chuck it away.

Ignore the “well I’m fat/eaten loads anyway” internal discourse. It isn’t about how much you’ve eaten, how fattening it is (or isn’t). It’s about taking control of what you are putting in your body at that particular moment and preventing yourself getting really uncomfortable/more uncomfortable/being ill.