DD being bullied at school - do i tell other child’s parents or not?

[GinIsMySaviour]

Hello all, I need a quick straw poll of what to do. Quick background (brief so not too identifiable):

DD is 6 and generally is really happy at school - lots of friends, all the kids seem great, lots of a play dates, even a few sleepovers and it all seems fine.

However, there is one child who is notoriously controlling and this child (let’s call them ‘A’) has turned their attention onto DD. DD is pretty resilient and has been able to avoid A quite a bit but now the coercion has become pronounced, targeted at DD and become directed specifically at DD’s school work.

This has led to DD being stressed, distracted, and (rightly) angry.

It all got very intense yesterday and now DD is at home as she was unhappy about going into school and I have said I’m not sending her in until I’m convinced the right measures have been taken to protect her.

The school has been brilliant - headteacher on the case, phone calls today (very positive, constructive, sympathetic and supportive of DD), meeting arranged soon etc.

However, A’s parents are good friends of mine. We see each other outside of school interactions, have supported each other through tricky family situations etc.

So do I tell them this has happened? The headteacher wants to talk to them early next week but I don’t want the call to be a massive shock and in their shoes, I would want to know sooner rather than later.

I don’t want to pre-empt the headteacher but I feel I should say something however I don’t know where to start.

Any and all advice gratefully received

PS apologies in advance if it takes me a while to reply to any comments, about to take DD out for lunch to make a fuss of her.

I'd probably let the school drive this, if they're good at safeguarding and hopefully they are they can act as the mediator and hopefully get things back in an even keel

Let the school handle it and absolutely do not approach the other parents, the best approach is to keep it "business" like rather than personal.

Let the school start the conversation with them, then see what happens from there.

Say nothing - it will not end well. It's highly unlikely you'll get the response you want/need from the other parents and that will affect your friendship.

Let them speak to the head next week and take it from there. If they are good people and good friends they may well say 'I wish you'd told us' as they call you to apologise, in which case you can say 'I thought it was easier to just let school deal with it, sorry, I should have told you.'

But honestly, I've had this more than once (DS has ASD and is a bit of a target) and it's best by far to say nowt.

Thank you all for your replies - seems pretty unanimous!

Right, am about to head out but wanted to say a quick thanks before going.

Lonny so sorry to hear about your DS’ experiences but thank you for your advice.

Yes, let school deal with it.

Quick update - I spoke to the headteacher today who was brilliant and i’m confident will handle everything sensitively.

She also advised not to contact the other child’s parents so thank you all for stopping me from doing something precipitous!