What would you feed my children?

[ColourMeGreen]

I'm struggling massively with meal times. I have three DC aged 10, 4 and almost 2. All have autism and various diagnoses alongside this, and all have huge food issues.
10 year old won't eat anything even remotely seasoned in any way because it's "spicy", also won't eat any type of cheese or potato, rice, fish or eggs and is very limited in acceptable vegetables (only really eats peas). Fruit is limited to berries and an occasional orange.

4 year old won't eat anything "wet". Doesn't eat pasta/rice/bread. Will lick broccoli but not bite it and won't eat any other veg. Won't eat any fish/meat unless it comes in finger/nugget form and even then only from specific brands (which seems like madness to me but even when I switch the packaging he knows) won't have milk on cereal or eat toast etc. Berries and bananas are the only fruit he will eat. Eats eggs occasionally. Actually likes cheese.

2 year old eats a wide range of fruit and vegetables (thankfully) but not a whole lot of anything else. He does eat fish pie but that's about it. Also not a fan of bread and doesn't eat weetabix or porridge or any other cereals we've tried. Does eat toast. Doesn't like eggs/cheese/pasta etc

I am so lost. 4 year old in particular is getting worse.

I've asked for help so many times from GP / health Visitor/ nursery and the autism team and keep getting the same answer: "as long as they're not underweight we can't intervene".

I have no idea how they're not underweight but I'm more concerned about the serious lack of nutrition in their diets. And making up to 8 different meals a day for them to go mostly uneaten. It's exhausting and expensive.

I take them shopping to help choose goods they like the look of, I bring them to the kitchen to help cook, I've tried adding veg to smoothies (they don't drink them, eldest does sometimes) I really have no idea What else to do.

Four year old in particular won't eat anything on his plate if there's something unfamiliar on it, or on another plate in the same room!

Does anyone have any ideas? Please?

Oh my gosh...that is hard.

So, is there no carb that all of them will eat that you could base a meal around?

The only thing I'm thinking is you do a sort of picnicy/tapas type offering for meals and let them pick although I totally understand that it could be a faff and lead to wastage.

I'd suggest lots of little dishes, like tapas, of plain food. Cut up fruit veg meat cheese they can all pick from. Hopefully 2 or 3 things each one will eat, each meal.

Would they try home made pizza with a home made tomato (with hidden veg) sauce and no cheese? You can make the dough in a bread maker or just get ready mixed pizza dough sachets from Tesco? Then mix up a smooth tomato sauce and spread on it? Quite easy and you could build up toppings?

By quite easy I meant the making pizzas this way is quite easy not finding a solution as it does sound really hard!!

This sounds so hard. Are you giving them a chewy vitamin supplement just to cover all bases. I also think the picnic style approach might work. Have you tried wraps or pre made pancakes? Pitta bread? I wonder if you could get some input from a dietician, sometimes they are linked to children's centres. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job and trying your best in really difficult circumstances.

Thank you for your replies, just wanted to quickly answer some questions.

Vitamins:
10yo and 2yo have vitamins daily, 4th won't take chewy ones or liquid in his milk. Totally refuses, it clearly causes him a lot of distress.

Home made pizza is theoretically a good idea but also combines the things none of them will eat, bread, sauce, cheese. Even minus the cheese it would be a struggle but I'm willing to try anything at this point. Thank you.

Picnic/tapas style is definitely an option, but I wouldn't be able to lay it all out in my 4yos view or he wouldn't eat anything at all. I could maybe lay it out in the kitchen and bring them in one at a time to choose. Previous picnic/party situations have proven quite difficult for 4yo but I think I'll try this way and see how it goes down.

10 year old won't eat anything even remotely seasoned in any way because it's "spicy", also won't eat any type of cheese or potato, rice, fish or eggs and is very limited in acceptable vegetables (only really eats peas). Fruit is limited to berries and an occasional orange

Will they drink milk? And pasta? Any kind of pasta sauce? What about meat?

4 year old won't eat anything "wet". Doesn't eat pasta/rice/bread. Will lick broccoli but not bite it and won't eat any other veg. Won't eat any fish/meat unless it comes in finger/nugget form and even then only from specific brands (which seems like madness to me but even when I switch the packaging he knows) won't have milk on cereal or eat toast etc. Berries and bananas are the only fruit he will eat. Eats eggs occasionally. Actually likes cheese

How is the 4 year old with potato products? Crackers or breadsticks? Is melted cheese ok?

2 year old eats a wide range of fruit and vegetables (thankfully) but not a whole lot of anything else. He does eat fish pie but that's about it. Also not a fan of bread and doesn't eat weetabix or porridge or any other cereals we've tried. Does eat toast. Doesn't like eggs/cheese/pasta etc

Any luck with rice here? Cheese?

It will get better as they get older, because even if their diets are as restrictive, they will be able to explain why. So my Dc1 will only eat Heniz beans but all others are "chewy" - he's very brand focussed, not necessarily but price as some things he can only eat if supermarket own, but there's some taste or texture difference. He'll eat nothing rather than the "wrong" brand. Some of it is nonsense to me - he hates all pasta but loves lasagne, for example; will eat KFC but not McDonald's as it's too bland but he hates spicy food (except curry and chilli and pepperoni pizza of course.)

We do a lot of separate plates and divided plates as contamination is an issue. Sometimes even having food presented at the same time is a problem, so first course might be meat, second carbs, third veg, fourth pudding.

Other DC also have issues - whether genuine or caught off Dc1 I don't know so they never eat the same meal, but I do have 3-4 meals for each of them so mostly it's only two different meals a night - obviously with different shaped pasta, different cut veg or cheese or whatever. Cahms said if it's about control, to give control, so I do.

I can't quite get my head around all the demands but my 4yo is extremely fussy. We made him name 6 meals he'll eat without a fuss and made them for 6 days. On the 7th he had to try whatever we gave him.
He did always eat cereal, toast and fruit for breakfast, and a peanut butter sandwich for lunch.
He named tortellini with pesto
Gnocchi with butter
Pancakes
Pizza with houmous for the crusts
Macaroni cheese
Fish fingers and chips
Beans on toast

Any of those any good?
We've recently had some success with red lentil pasta, quorn sausages, mash and mushy peas with gravy, cauliflower cheese, sweet potato chips.
Try gluten free stuff and veggie stuff. It's often made with healthy ingredients like lentils, beans egg
Try houmous and peanut butter for protein.
Try mashing things or varying consistencies.
Oat cakes go down well here too. You can get fruit and seed ones.
Sesame snaps.