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Original poster

I think I'm losing my job tomorrow

63 replies

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 20:41

My boss was fired tonight. I shouldn't know yet (I assume I will be told first thing tomorrow). Officially it will be called redundancy but in reality, he is the scapegoat for the failings of his management who needed someone to blame now a new "big boss" has started in our division. Heaven forbid they took responsibility for their own lack of action but instead they chose to point fingers at my boss (who was actually very smart and very talented i.e. a threat). It is VERY political where I work.

I am shellshocked. Stunned. Gutted. I had a bad feeling something nasty was going on and I am upset to be right.

My boss was the one who hired me and I am very clearly his number 2. We have worked very closely together since I started just over a year ago and we got on very well. He just gave me a great mid-year review actually. However, our close connection does not bode well for me. Before I heard the news, I was already questioning a mysterious meeting that has been put in my diary tomorrow with the boss of my boss. Just the two of us. The meeting title seems weird and there's no agenda.

The question is.....am I being fired too or am I being told about my boss and how my reporting line etc will change? I have a strong feeling I will also lose my job. My skills are not well utilised and I'm overpaid for what I'm "allowed" to do (I have escalated this many times, as far as to C-level but all I got back was sympathy and that my boss should let me take on more - but he himself wasn't empowered to change that). I have mixed feelings. I have been very unhappy in my role and have wanted to leave but the job market in my field is dead, dead, dead and more dead (thanks mainly to Brexit!). I have less than 2 years' service so all I will get is my 4 weeks' notice.

I don't expect to sleep tonight. I am appalled at how my boss has been treated yet somehow I have to maintain a neutral expression and look surprised when I am told the news tomorrow. And I fear I am next.

Maybe it's the shock but I am really worried that I will cry tomorrow. I do not want to show any weakness to these f*ckers and somehow I have to find a way of switching my emotions off. How the hell do I do that???

OP posts:

Nettletheelf · 19/09/2018 20:46

Even with fewer than two years’ service a process has to be followed. They can’t just sack you with no grounds.

Do you want to stay? If not, think about what exit package you want and practise calmly and unapologetically stating your terms.

Thomasinaa · 19/09/2018 20:57

With less than 2 years' service, you have no negotiating position, as you know. Basically, they can sack you with no grounds, as long as there is no unlawful discrimination (eg sex discrimination).
I think that you're right, the meeting is either to tell you about your boss' departure and to tell you that you will be covering his work until a replacement is appointed, or to dismiss you. Perhaps more likely to be dismissal.
About switching off your emotions:
You're at a great advantage in that you are anticipating a dismissal - it won't come as a shock. Try to imagine the kinds of words that will be used, if it is in fact a dismissal. Maybe say them out loud. Then if similar words are used you'll cope more easily. Take some props into the meeting. If you use reading glasses, wear them. That will be a screen between you and the manager. Wear clothes that you are comfortable in, maybe a scarf, so that you feel less exposed. Maybe take something to fiddle with - like a stress ball. If you mess around with the stress ball during the conversation, it will give you something else, something that's not upsetting, to focus on. Maybe you could do the imagining him naked trick. Whatever works for you to take your full attention off the unpleasantness of what is said to you, off the manager and his power game. And ahead of the meeting have something nice planned for afterwards - eg arrange to meet a friend for drinks, or to go to the cinema, or whatever. This job is not your life.
If you keep calm, you could maybe ask about a reference.

Nettletheelf · 19/09/2018 21:00

In fact, the OP could claim for wrongful dismissal if the proper process - set out in her contract of employment - wasn’t followed, irrespective of length of service. That gives her some leverage.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs

Original poster

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 21:03

I thought that with under 2 years they can get rid of me for any reason as long as it isn't discrimination against a protected group? They just can say my role is no longer required and pay my notice period? Legally I'm not entitled to any redundancy payment with less than 2 years service.

I don't know whether I want to stay or not. I hate my job. It is soul destroying. But the job market for what I do is almost non-existent and as a result, there is a glut of desperate people out there. I have actually never seen the market this bad (in 20 years). I have been actively looking for a new role for the last 10 months and not even had one interview. Previously I have been headhunted and/or had multiple offers very quickly. My c.v. is very strong, I interview well but funding has been cut dramatically in the areas I have experience in because of (bloody) Brexit.

If the job market was reasonable, I would have left under my own steam. But now with no sign of any opportunities, I have been trying to make the best of a miserable situation and just suck it up. Those days may well be over. The thought of being out of work for a long time scares the hell out of me. I have some savings but they will only last so long. I am single and have only myself to rely upon. F*ck.

OP posts:

GreyGardens88 · 19/09/2018 21:09

Change fields maybe

Original poster

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 21:11

Thanks Thomasinaa for such great advice on how to keep my cool.

OP posts:

Girlsnightin · 19/09/2018 21:11

Maybe they're going to offer you your boss's old job?

MrsGarethSouthgate · 19/09/2018 21:12

Sorry, Nettle is wrong, Thomasinaa is right.

AntiHop · 19/09/2018 21:12

Bloody hell op that sounds stressful. We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow.

Original poster

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 21:23

Maybe they're going to offer you your boss's old job?

They claim they're making his role redundant so if they offer it to me, that gives him a great legal case (and he has more than 2 years service, unlike me).

I will either be out as well (in which case I'll be gone by lunchtime tomorrow as the weird meeting is at 11.30am) or I'll be told I'm now reporting to a backstabbing moron.

Trying to get the emotion out tonight so I will be cold, clinical and utterly professional tomorrow. I used to be in consultancy so I'm experienced at "acting/faking it under pressure" but this treatment of my boss (and soon to be me) has truly appalled me. I come from a background where "courageous integrity" is highly regarded but my current environment is as opposite to that as you can get. I find it a real struggle. I am very uncomfortable working with liars and cheats and people who hide their own weaknesses by backstabbing those they see as threats. This is not the first time I have been angry and thought "have you people got no f*ing integrity?!". But maybe they're the smart ones as it looks like I'm about to be the big loser in our company's version of Game of Thrones.

OP posts:

puppymouse · 19/09/2018 21:27

I had a very similar meeting go in my diary at a previous job. Only it was with HR. They made me redundant and hadn't told my line manager what they were doing. Luckily I didn't have to work my notice and got those 3 months tax free as a payout as I had only been there a year. Fingers crossed whatever happens you will be somewhere where you get some job satisfaction.

CrabbityRabbit · 19/09/2018 21:27

I'm so sorry OP. This must be horrendously stressful. Have you anything you can take to help you get some sleep tonight? Drowsy antihistamines?

FantastikRik · 19/09/2018 21:30

I’m sorry I don’t have any more advice, but it sounds like you’re in a difficult position no matter what the outcome is.

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good thoughts

LurkingQuietly · 19/09/2018 21:35

OP, are you a female working in a male dominated environment?

Doyoumind · 19/09/2018 21:37

It doesn't sound like they followed the correct process with your boss. How long had he been there?

They should be following some kind of process for you whether it's dismissal or redundancy, even though you haven't been there for 2 years.

I hope it's not as stressful as you are imagining.

I have worked in some toxic places so can understand your anger and concerns about integrity.

Original poster

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 21:38

Thanks CrabbityRabbit, I am a terrible sleeper at the best of times so during the week I usually dose myself up with anti-histamines before bed - plus some Poliquin's UberMag (magnesium and L-Tryptophan) - in the hope of knocking myself out for a few solid hours. I was at the gym this morning before work so hopefully that will help too. I guess worse case ad I'm exhausted tomorrow, it may stop me reacting and quite possibly I will be back home by the afternoon and can have a nap. The nap may be the silver lining in my cloud.

This is bringing back horrible memories of my previous job when I was forced (by my boss who was forced by his boss) to fire someone I had hired just a week before Christmas when he was still on probation. The guy had done nothing wrong other than not play the politics game. He had no idea he was about to be fired. He met me in the office with a coffee and even when HR joined us, the penny didn't drop for him. It was only when I started asking questions about his performance that he started to realise. I still remember the change in his expression as it dawned on him he was about to be fired. I felt like sh*t. My eyes were welling with tears by the end and my voice was starting to break. I told him how sorry I was and asked him to stay in touch. Of course he never did. He must have hated me. This incident was one of the reasons why I left that role. Maybe karma is coming back to haunt me now.

OP posts:

Palegreenstars · 19/09/2018 21:44

Genuine question - Is there a field to move to that is benefitting from Brexit. So many people I know have been told they are at risk of redundancy because of it.

I’m so sorry OP. It could be just a change of manager but you are right to get the emotion out now. So much better to know

Nettletheelf · 19/09/2018 21:49

Sigh. Look up the difference between unfair dismissal and wrongful dismissal.

Original poster

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/09/2018 21:51

It doesn't sound like they followed the correct process with your boss. How long had he been there?
My boss has been there 2+ years so can absolutely go down the legal route (if he so chooses). I already gave him the details of an amazing employment lawyer I know.

OP, are you a female working in a male dominated environment?
I'm female but the environment is only slightly male dominated (but I'm used to working with teams of all men so this seems very female by comparison), at senior levels of course. They are quite old school (yet very hot on flexible working) and only started pushing diversity last year. To them diversity just means more woman in senior roles. They are about 10 years away from realising they need to consider LGBT and a myriad of other diversity challenges. I pushed hard when I started to get them thinking about unconscious bias but it was like a PhD student trying to explain particle physics to a 3 year old. A 3 year old with an attitude problem.
I had an incident with sexism earlier in the year. A senior colleague from another division started putting his arm round me and rubbing my back (a group of us were in a bar after a workshop). I told my boss the next day and he escalated to HR. HR "interviewed" me but their response was (and I paraphrase) "so all he did was rub your back?". I told them I was concerned at other incidents of sexism I had witnessed since joining. They had no interest and didn't even ask for me to tell them more.

OP posts:

Nacreous · 19/09/2018 22:44

We just had some beliefs and biases training. Presented by a man with (IMO) major biases and problematic beliefs. Unfortunately it needed Privilege 101 before hand really as the whole exercise was dominated by white, straight, British born, Christian males going yeah but what about people who assume negative things about Meeeee. 😠

WipsGlitter · 20/09/2018 08:19

Good luck today. Such a shitty situation.

RainbowsArePretty · 20/09/2018 08:56

Stay strong & calm.

QOD · 20/09/2018 08:59

Good luck

Livinglavidal0ca · 20/09/2018 09:06

Good luck OP!

StealthPolarBear · 20/09/2018 09:06

Good luck op. Try to bear in mind (in it doesn't sound flippant) that in a year you'll be on to better things and this will be a fleeting unpleasant memory.

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