How does your Church welcome newcomers?

[midnightmoon8]

I'm interested to hear how you make 'newbies' feel welcome at your Church (especially if they attend alone). Been to a couple of services recently and it didn't feel particularly friendly, so just wondered if this was typical ...

I don't go regularly (or much at all) but there's plenty of smiles and a handshake from the priest at the door as you leave at every one I've been to in recent years. I'm a rubbish Catholic. I've never been to an unfriendly one.
Sorry you're feeling unwelcome.

It doesn't. I don't think anyone would even notice if you were new. It's not a very friendly church. I hear about other churches and how friendly and welcoming they are and it sounds great even though I am an introvert who doesn't like talking to people I don't know. I don't know whether it is because mine is a Catholic church and the CofE/ other denominations are trying harder to be friendlier and welcoming and encourage new people or what.

I’m an atheist now, but when I used to go to church, some of the people would be all over you - nosey, hugging, gushing, kissing etc. Some would view you with suspicion and look down their noses - generally older people. The rest would totally ignore you.

I can’t say I ever got a feeling that any of them were genuine as the friendly gushers were just doing it for show or as an act of virtue to make themselves feel better.

I found the Catholics to be the most accepting and reasonable tbh. You didn’t get glared at for taking children either.

Catholics see mass as an obligation, so they tend to assume people are just there for the mass.

There'll often be coffee and things afterwards for the sociable types.

The local baptist church has people at the door asking if it's your first time, and giving directions and things.

I prefer the Catholic approach of leaving people to it.

Catholic churches tend to have a different ethos from low church Protestant ones. The latter often have welcomers to shake your hand, ask if you're new to the church/district, ask your name, ask if children will be attending Sunday School etc, and the pastor or minister often pops round to see you at home if you're local. Depending on your expectations and the way it's done, this can either feel v welcoming or rather suffocating.

I think it stems largely from doctrinal differences, although local custom also obviously plays a large role too. Catholic churches tend to be open for prayer and various masses all day every day, with people coming and going intent on their own private devotions/business. The church is seen more as sacred space (because of the presence of the Eucharist) rather than as a meeting-house of Christian friends, and it isn't assumed that visitors or worshippers will appreciate being approached.

If you're attending a Catholic Church and want to be more involved the usual assumption is that you won't be intruded on if you prefer to remain anonymous, but if you want to be more involved then you would take certain steps like introducing yourself to the priest as new in the diocese, going along for after-mass coffee and cake (this is usually in the church hall after the main mass or family mass), going along to some of the various parish groups (these often vary from groups focused on prayer, Scripture, Catechism or theology to ones focused on specific social issues like the St Vincent de Paul, to ones aimed at particular demographics like older people, parents with pre-schoolers, or Newman groups for 18-35s), or enrolling your children in the local Catholic school.

We have Welcomers on the door at each service. As well as give out order of service etc., their job is to try to spot new people and help them if they need it.

We cover some of the all age services (so family services) as Welcomers and we always try to get children involved in the collection. If we spot children we don't know we'll ask their parents if they'd like to join in- it breaks the ice without being OTT.

The vicar always gets all the children to come up the front when he does his talk - he normally makes it fun for the kids. We've had an adult lying down in the front of the church whilst the kids measured them as part of one talk and they made porridge during another talk (that got a wee bit messy but who cares - the kids enjoyed it and we all had a laugh at our lovely vicar covered in porridge!

Our vicar always has children doing the readings at the all age services. Parents love to see their children taking part and it's a good way of starting a conversation afterwards by saying how well their kids did.

Young children have an area at the back of the church with puzzles and colouring books so parents can sit with them there if they're getting a bit bored (our all age service only lasts 45 minutes but that's ages when you're three!)

We also have tea and coffee after every service at the back of the church and the vicar encourages people to stay for it.

We even invite tourists to join us. We're in a tourist town so we have people who come along to our church to have a look around and if it's after a Sunday service they'll often hover at the door as they see people milling about having coffee and biscuits and the kids running about. So we ask if they'd like to pop in for a coffee! Most don't but still have a look around the church which is nice.

Last Christmas we had standing room only in the Church - 300 people plus. It was lovely.