Why are people so offended by bf beyond 12 months

[username4868372]

NC for this as these kind of threads often causes a big debate/can get very emotive. But basically what is some people's problem with women bf beyond 12 months or even 6 months?

Basically someone shared an article on my social media about women who still bf their children past 12 months some were age 4/5. The comments I read underneath the article were appalling especially as most where written by other women. For the most part the general consensus was bf beyond a year is disgusting. Comments included ' if they want to carry on they should express and feed the child with a sippy cup.' 'It's not normal the mother has detachment issues.' And so on. I still bf my DD she is 16 months. For me I hope to stop when she is ready.

Is it simply the case that breasts are now seen as sexual objects? I don't understand when you look other cultures or especially tribe bf is normal and can carry on till natural weaning stage (normally between 2 to 6).

I read a fantastic article on BF in Mongolia, from (I think) a woman doing research there, whilst BF a baby of her own - the youngest in a family there apparently BF until whenever (I seem to remember 9 isn't that unusual)

My milk dried up when I got pregnant with DS2, otherwise DS1 would have still had snuggles and BF in the morning for as long as he wanted - and given that if he's ill/tired/feeling sorry for himself even now at 8 he comes up and nuzzles my chest, I'm pretty sure he would still have been going at 4 or 5 (not DS2. He weaned himself entirely as soon as he discovered real food! - although he still does the nuzzling thing, it's not as pronounced as DS1).

Sod the judgers. My kids are independent and kind and secure. There's nothing weird going on. They just love their mum, and feel safe when they can be close. It's entirely normal.

People are idiots. Ignore and do your own thing

In Britain it seems to be a class culture thing to an extent. I breastfed until 2. Its pretty normal from what I have seen. I did get 'just wean him' and 'just put him in nursery' comments from a childless relative but she didn't seem to understand that, as much as I would have loved to do that, it's not really possible to explain to a preverbal breast obsessed toddler why they can't have their milk anymore.

Breastfeeding is already rare, rarer to be EBF, and I don’t think I have seen anyone with a toddler. I dont think I can tell if the baby is really 12 or 15mo? I stopped when mine were around 18 and 14/15 months. But after 12/13mo I only did one feed in the morning and one feed before bed. I think that is a lot more common for those who BF slightly older infants.

I think there so little understanding of how breastfeeding works. Comments like just express show the reality of that. If you express, you lose the 'saliva backwash' which tailors the milk to the immune response needed. Never mind that you cannot simply start expressing at 2 years.

There is a huge focus on the physical 'benefits' of bf in the UK. That may be explained by how normalised poor attachment is here. I think the accepted figure for adults in the UK is 40% do not show secure attachment (only a tiny proportion of that have RAD though).

It's outside the cultural norm which makes people uncomfortable.

I think there is a point where it becomes a habit for both sides rather than something that is needed. I breastfed until just after 2 and stopped my DS, as I was ready to stop. He was absolutely fine about it and whilst I worried about him getting ill or loosing weight or getting dehydrated, he is the same as before. I was surprised how well he took it, we were still doing 2 feeds a day when I stopped cold turkey ( I cut to 2 from 3 a month before )

However having told some people I only just stopped breastfeeding him recently and I see a look of horror. But I assumed I would bf to 6 months as that was the recommendation and my DS is my first ( and I've not been around babies )

A few new baby friends I've made said they couldn't wait to stop bf at 6 months. One gave her last bf on his 6 month "birthday"

Each to their own, I feel my DS would of continued for years. It's a personal choice but I would assume that going back to work stops extended feeding a lot.

I expect the negative comments on the article were not breastfeeders or even mother's. I may have said I'd never bf until 2 yrs when hearing a relative had but that was before I was a mum.

when people think of breastfeeding they think of babies. is your baby breastfed etc etc. society is just starting to get used to seeing breastfeeding (babies) in public. those that do bf toddlers and older tend to not do it in public, because it's only an occasional comfort thing, eg bedtime. so people are not used to it.

plus let's not fuck about, we are bombarded with follow on milk from six months adverts.

I fed 14 month old DD one bedtime and after 20 minutes there was still no milk. Weaning done it seemed! I would have continued had she needed it.

I think there's such ignorance that a lot of people don't realise you can still breastfeed a child and also feed them food, so they assume extended breastfeeders are denying their children.

Sadly we seem to have a situation where breastfeeding a baby can be seen as weird, let alone a toddler. It's ridiculous how literally the most normal and natural thing has been stigmatised by idiots.

For most women, it's surely they practicality of going back to work and needing to put a baby into nursery?

But also as pp said upthread, a regional and class thing?
I live in a naice bit of London, and BFing til a year is fairly normal, and at 18+ months , a morning and night feed is pretty common among my social group

Most of my friends and NCT group went back to work at around a year so dropped to 1 or2 feeds a day, and fully weaned at around 18-24 months because they wanted to try for another baby

It’s odd that people are offended by breastfeeding beyond one but many parents are seemingly happy for toddlers to walk about with a dummy.

Because it's disgusting there is no need to breastfeed after a year, it's attention seeking! Poor kids.

Not sure what is attention seeking about letting a toddler have a feed before bed in the comfort and privacy of their own home. I've not long weaned my nearly 3 year old and the vast majority of people I know (family members) have no idea he was bf for so long. I worked full time while still bfing morning and night, then night only. It is possible to do nursery/ childcare, eat solid food and breastfeed.

DD is 16m and still has a BF first thing in the morning and at bedtime.

I don't see anything disgusting or attention seeking about that.

DD is a good eater so she isn't missing out on anything by breastfeeding.

I'm hopeful that DD is getting over her dairy allergy. If we can complete the milk ladder she will be able to have cows milk in a bottle at which point I'll happily stop the breastfeeds.

I'm writing this while bf DS in bed, he'll be 2 on Sunday. We only feed in the morning now (deliberately dropped bedtime feed last month) and that only 3/4 days a week. I've been back at work with him in nursery for over a year, he never took a bottle so I didn't bother expressing, we just feed when we're together. Nobody would know unless they asked so I've no idea how it's attention seeking or gross. And it gets me an extra 20 mins in bed

@SockQueen ha I hear you with the extra time in bed. Mine just tries to twist my nipple and jumps off and toddles off to try to get in our ensuite now though.

They're ignorant, that's all.

I BF DC1 until 16 months and plan to go at least as long with DC2.

I see plenty of children older than 12 months walking around with dummies in their mouths or still taking bottles. So not sure why breastfeeding is inappropriate when those are plastic substitutes BF in the end.

To be honest I thought it was weird until I became a mum. I had picked up the breast is best message and that ebf until 6 months is recommend but hadn’t realised all the benefits of feeding until 2+. Now I know I’m happy to feed as long as DD wants. I think a lot of the negativity around extended bf is simply lack of knowledge. Which leads to ignorant comments about attention seeking etc.
My DP is mortified by the idea of me feeding DD past 1 but he will live!

@tenbob

I breastfed DD2 after I returned to work. She just reverse cycled.

Thanks everyone for your comments they are much appreciated. I definitely agree that most people who are bothered by it have no experience of it.
What a lot of people I don't think realise either is that it isn't just a case of stopping. My DD gets very emotional on the rare cases I have had to refuse/delay a feed. I genuinely don't know how I would stop now hence I'm hoping to carry on for as long as she wants.

I breastfed ds1 until 14 months and DS2 until 2 years. Judge if you like, I give no fucks.

The negative comments on that thread were about photographing a older child breastfeeding and sticking in a newspaper. There were loads of positive posts from women breastfeeding for longer periods.

So it’s disgusting for a mother to fed her child from breast after 12 months, despite breast milk being for children and what nature intended but it’s ok to give a child cows milk you know the milk from an animal that didn’t give birth to the child.

Some people on here & in real life like growuppeople are weird about breastfeeding

Fed first son till 12 months
Fed second till 24 months
Fed daughter till 36 months!
I’ve done loads!