If your child(ten) are in nursery, who picks them up if they're unwell!

[SlimmingMumOf1]

Just curious really. My DS goes childminders, but if he happens to get unwell while in her care and I have to collect him, it is my responsibility to go and get him and take the rest of the day off and more if he's got S&D. Same goes if he cannot go childminders at all, I have to have day(s) off work to look after him. I am already on a verbal warning due to having days off to look after my DS

Do you think it should be both parents' responsibility? My DH earns considerably more than I do so he thinks he should be the one to stay at work and I go and collect as my job is not really that important only minimum wage, like!

Any thoughts?!

At the time my DC were in nursery I was the slightly higher earner but it would still be me that went to collect if they were ill purely because I worked closer. We are fortunate however to have very hands on parents so very often I was able to drop them off with their grandparents. I am aware that we were exceptionally lucky in that way and appreciate it would be very difficult if I had been having to constantly take time off. Personally I think, if it can be and is geographically possible, it should be shared.

If your DH isn't prepared to compromise in his career at all to care for his DS then there is not a lot you can do but its pretty sad. Can you afford to not work? If he knows you are already on a warning presumably your DH is aware you could lose your job over this??

We both do it. I'm the higher earner, but not by much. I also have the most flexibility with my working hours, but my husband works a shift pattern that gives him four days off. If he's off work, it's a no brainer - he does it.

The key is to be in agreement with what works for you all as a family.

well, that's you put in your place, he is more important than you.
No, it's not your responsibility if you are working it's 50/50.
if he doesn't share this, does he do equal parenting, care and domestic chores?

You should take it in turns.

I do all the pick ups as I’m only ten minutes away whereas DH is an hour away. But days off we try to look at both schedules and see who can more easily stay home. If neither then we have to toss for it!

We pretty much take turns. Often better paying employers are more understanding / generous with allowing time off for child illness issues, eg if you work in a higher paying role and often work a bit late unpaid they can give you the day off for childcare fully paid as the assumption is you're in credit for hours / will probably make up the time

We choose on the day according to who needs to be in work most

DH goes to collect as I can't drive and nursery is a bus ride away. If I am work, he has to be the one to take the rest of the day off, because I can't leave my work in the middle of a shift unless it is life-threatening (I work in a hospital so have popped down to A&E to see my ill child in the middle of shift but have not always been able to stay with them or go home with them if the shift is short-staffed already). With days when she can't go to nursery because she is ill we take it in turns. Sometimes I am off anyway as I only work part-time, sometimes DH has important meetings he can't really miss so I take the time off, sometimes he doesn't and can do some of his work from home so he takes the day off. If you are both working, you should both do it, otherwise, as you have found, one of you runs the risk of not having a job anymore if you get in trouble for having too much time off.

Both professionals although DH earns much more, but we take it in turns (although take into consideration deadlines, meetings etc). DH says leaving work for child related things gives him kudos at work!

Luckily DH work is quite flexible, so if I'm not available (only work a couple of evenings a week) then he can cover. Failing that, my DM and MIL are usually available & willing to help out. We are very very lucky.

Baby not born yet but I think I would most likely do the picking up. It depends on the job. DH works miles away and is in the field of manual labour. He can't just have his phone on him all the time and is obviously not allowed to look at it when he's on a roadside driving a digger! I work in an office and my workplace are extremely flexible so would never penalise me for needing to pick up my sick child (civil service).

It entirely depends on the dynamic, your job, who is closer, whether you drive etc etc.

If we had similar jobs with similar distances to travel and were both able to leave without being penalised then of course I would expect us both to do it.

Historically me as I am SE and work from home so it's pretty straightforward for me to cope. DH is planning a change of work which will hopefully slow him more flexibility on this front.