What would you do - call social services or not?

[RedNex]

Someone I know is in a relationship with a violent man.

A few weeks ago, there was an incident which resulted in SIK's daughter getting hit. The police got involved and alerted social services.

SIK then learned from the bloke's ex that he has a history of violence and is banned from seeing some of his children because of this. Social services confirmed they have concerns about him.

SIK split up with him and told social services she'd split up with him. They said they'd take no further action so long as they weren't together but if SIK got back with him, then social services said they'd be forced to become involved.

Now it transpires that SIK has got back with him and he stays at her place a lot of the time. Her daughter has reported to someone else that she hates being at home and feels scared. I don't know whether there's been any more physical violence yet.

Social services don't know that SIK is back with this guy. Would you call them and let them know? I'm very torn because I know it's the right thing to do but if it ever comes out that it was me who called them then the fallout would be huge. On the other hand, though, who cares if there's fallout if I can do just a little something to protect the daughter (who's got a pretty fucking shit life as it is)?

Yes.

God, I hope that all makes sense. Reading back, it reads like a garbled mess. I've tried to be clear.

Sorry what is SIK??

sorry to ask but what does SIK stand for?

You’re doing it for her daughter’s sake. I think I would, even if I knew the fall out would be huge. She needs to know someone is standing up for her.

Contact social services. No mother should put their child in danger like this regardless if she loves the man or not. He might not of hurt her daughter yet, but that's too big a risk

Hell yes I would! Imagine if something happened to the girl, you would feel so guilty then.

Call them anonymously.

Sorry, it stands for someone I know.

I absolutely would.
No hesitation.
SYK is not safeguarding their child.
If you don't give your name they can't pass it on by accident, though I suspect it may carry less weight as an anonymous informer

In a fucking heartbeat. The child deserves to be safe and not living in fear. If her mother can't give her that then someone else needs to. How would you feel if you did nothing and ...........?

In the poor child's interest, I would call them without a doubt

I knew everyone would say that. Of course I know it's the right thing to do, I'm just being a wimp.

Until now I've managed to stay out of the whole thing. This woman has had a string of ridiculous boyfriends (never violent though), always has a massive drama in her life, and basically ruins the lives of people around her. So I've always kept my distance very deliberately. I guess I just feel that calling SS is like placing myself right in the middle of the drama.

Is it possible to call anonymously? I always thought SS wanted your details in case things ever went as far as a court case. Have I imagined that?!

Report anonymously without a doubt if you choose to do so. If not, and your name is passed on- there’s a very strong chance it is going to backfire on you.

If SS already have concerns I highly doubt “it will carry less weight”. Maybe so if it’s the first time they had heard of this person, but very doubtful in this case.

Let them know. If something happened you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself.

Do it asap, that child deserves a life free from experiencing and witnessing violence.

I am a SW and i say you absolutely have an obligation to call SS with this information. In Scotland we promote the 'It's everybody's job to make sure I'm alright' agenda for events such as these.

Any personal fall out is completely irrelevant when it comes to a child's safety. Please please report.

Is the daughter at your children's school? Or do you know her through another organisation with safeguarding responsibilities?
If so, report to them AND SS.

Is the daughter at your children's school? Or do you know her through another organisation with safeguarding responsibilities?

No, she's a distant family member.

Talk it through with nspcc who know about reporting anonymously, or weather you could go through the school who hav a duty to pass on report.

You can remain anonymous, or you can give your details so that if you have any further concerns or sw need to ask for further information this is easier. Ask for them not to mention your name or implicate you in this. They won't pass on your name.

I think you absolutely do have a responsibility to report. Safeguarding is the responsibility of all of us not just statutory agencies.

Thank you everyone. I'm going to give them a call

SIK - Someone I know....

You can often make reports to SS online if you prefer (think you can do so anonymously) but do do it. Just google safeguarding and the area they live in for the details of how to report.

They will take it very seriously. As PP said it safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility and you are doing the right thing for the child involved.

Im Disappointed that you even have to ask!
All children should be protected and this man has FORM for child abuse.
Make the call ASAP