While I was cleaning the bathroom this morning I moved the box with all the tampons/pads etc in so I could clean behind it, and realised I had lost track of when my next period was due. They're pretty irregular, but it only tends to be three or four days either way, so I usually know a window of when to expect it. Anyway, I checked the calendar and I'm 11 days late, which is extreme even for me.
I absolutely don't want to be pregnant. We've got two children (one with ASD), and had always said that's what we wanted. Aside from which we can't afford another child, we're struggling as it is, the house just isn't big enough to accommodate another tiny person! Plus I had horrific PND after having DS2 which has never really gone away completely, even after five years. It is 100% not what I want.
I grabbed a FRER from the chemist when I went to pick the kids up and have just done it. Negative. I should be relieved but I just want to curl up and cry! I was staring at the little box on the test and almost willing the line to appear... I don't understand why I'm so upset - I got the result I wanted.
Has anybody else done this? Is it just a holdover from all those months trying to conceive DS2 and feeling it would never happen? Is it hormones from AF being late? I am so confused by my reaction!