Will they help me?

[ConsumerUnitNotTraceable]

My mental health has taken a massive downturn after the death of my mum 2 weeks ago (sudden, distressing passing.)

The doctor put me on a very low dose of diazepam (2mg up to 3x a day) and I found that when I feel like shit, they do help. I'm noticing now though that when I don't take them my mood is volatile.

I'm struggling to get out of bed, I'm in tears constantly, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm angry, I have no motivation to do anything. I haven't had a bath since her passing, nor have I brushed my hair.

I can't even think about planning her funeral. I'm telling myself that she's still here.
I got very angry with someone when they asked me (gently) if we had any arrangements.
I apologised profusely when I realised how harsh I had been and have felt guilty since.
My mind is telling me that she isn't dead, she can't be.

When I saw my GP, he gave me (alongside the prescription) the number to self-refer for some counselling but the waiting list is so so long.
I'm thinking to maybe go back and see if there's some long term medicine they can give me to help, I'm scared for myself at the moment.

Would they help me? Or would he just send me to wait for the counselling?
I'm at a dead end completely.

No one?

Bumping for you OP. I wouldn't know what advice to give but I really feel for you

Reading your post again, I think I'd go back to your gp for more help. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss OP. It's worth a call to GP if you're struggling so much. There are a wide range of medications and another one may suit you better right now. Your Mums passing is so recent, it's understandable that you're still grieving so intensely.

Hopefully there will be more knowledgeable posters along with better advice. I didn't want to read & run.

Did you manage to eat something this morning consumerunit?

Thank you for the replies. Just knowing someone is listening means lots.

I can't eat. Food makes me feel physically sick, I have what feels like a lump in my throat and when I try and swallow I feel like I'm going to choke.
It's horrible.

I've never felt so low, it's scary just how dark my head is.

The GP has managed to fit me in tomorrow.
I just want a pill to make this all go away, even though it's not possible

Sorry to hear about your mum 😔

Definitely go back to your GP, diazepam is only a short term measure you might just need some antidepressants or something to help you sleep to get you through your grief.

Also have a look at this about grief www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/coping-with-bereavement/

And this www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/

So very sorry about your mum

Have a look here - they have a free bereavement helpline and email support, and also details of local counsellors and support groups that might be able to help you: www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help

The lump in your throat thing is probably anxiety. Could you sip orange juice or allow a square of chocolate to melt in your mouth? Anything like that just to get some energy into you. Grief is exhausting.

Do you have anyone alongside you as you go through this.

No advice but didn't want to read and not reply. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I really hope you get the help you need

I'm a bit confused because my DH takes diazepam to go to sleep? Surely you need an anti-depressant ? Iv never lost a parent but my Dad lost his mum when i was younger, he has NEVER been the same, it has ruined his relationship with my mum and his children. I know you must be so heart broken but your mum wouldn't want you to feel like this. Get yourself a nice bath put on some clothes and get to the GP. Tell him you are not coping and need something to help. Obviously it's been 2 weeks you haven't even said your final goodbye yet so it's not going to be easy in any way shape or form they say 'time heals' which is probably the stupidest saying I've heard when it comes to losing a loved one! Just remember your mum will always be in your heart and your head! When my uncle passed I cried for 2 weeks but then I realised this isn't what he would want me to be doing! I hope you get the help you need soon and start to be able to function again but please give yourself time sweet it's only just happened

Thank you again. Even the replies are getting me teary.

I'm completely up for counselling, but the waiting list was so long and even though I put my name down I still could be waiting ages.
I'll have a look at the links too, thank you.

My dad got me some nourishment drinks so I've been sipping at those throughout the day when I can. I've already lost a stone. I can't really lose anymore, I'm quite small as it is.
I'll try orange juice too.

My dad has taken over the funeral arrangements for now, because I refuse to bury her. She's not dead to me, she's still here.
I think I'm going mad.

Someone I'm not sure why he gave me diazepam.
The GP said it would be enough to relax me when needed, just to get through the initial period.

But now they're running out and I'm panicking that they'll soon be gone.

Thank you for your message x

Oh love you’re not going mad, you’re grieving. I’m so sorry about your mum

I was diagnosed with PTSD after Mum died, because of the way she died. You wrote that your Mum’s passing was sudden and distressing, is it worth mentioning that to the GP?

Whatever happens, don’t be too hard on yourself it’s a horrible, devastating thing to go through. Baby steps, day by day, hour by hour if you have to.

We’re all here

We were prescribed diazepam after the sudden and traumatic death of my little brother, it’s not just used as a sleeping aid.

Please try and go back to your GP. If you’re feeling low could you speak to the Samaritans? Can you afford private therapy? Bereavement and trauma counselling may help. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you peace

You’re not going mad, you’re going through the stages of grieving.

Try some mindfulness techniques the headspace app has some free ones which are good, also on one of the links I posted it directs you to some nhs ones, also perhaps try ringing the national Cruse helpline on 0808 808 1677

The Samaritans are great for immediate contact, without pressure too.

Have you any family around you. It’s a huge shock.
Go back to your gp and ask for help, they will know what to do.

Diazepam has a number of different uses, it’s used as a muscle relaxer for muscle spasms, as well as treating anxiety and can be used as a sedative. It’s very addicted so that’s why it’s given in a short course, I found it really helpful for severe anxiety and depression and love the relaxing feeling it gives. I’ve found no antidepressants that give a similar relaxing feeling, they kind of do numb you a bit tho.

Also I know this sounds daft but get out for a walk, if you can muster the energy for a small one. Grief triggers feelings of fight or flight (anxiety) and exercise makes your body think it had 'flown'. It may help lower the feelings of panic. Doesn't have to be a long walk at all.