Coping with baby if your DH works excessively long hours or you’re basically alone

[bargainsgalore18]

DH works excessively long hours and is out house Mon-Fri 6am - 8pm or later. Weekend work also involved sometimes .

DD1 is 4 months old. Love her to bits but I’m struggling to cope with doing everything Mon - Fri & 90% at weekends.

Just not getting any time out Mon-Fri is so hard. Even if DH could help out for an hour in the mornings or evenings it would make such a difference to me. But he leaves before DD gets up and is back after she’s in bed.

DH acknowledges his work situation needs to change and that is something we’re looking into.

But in the meantime does anyone have any coping strategies if you’re basically doing it alone?

If your DH is working these extremely long hours then he must surely be on brilliant money (otherwise - why?!) so, approach him regarding getting some help in so you can have time out.

You need a 'Mothers' Help' (do you have this in UK?) who will come in, do housework and then take care of baby whilst you have a sleep

I know it's not the done thing and "Money Is King" but I'll never understand the joy in no relationship with H/he barely knows his child as he's always at work. But if it has to be so then make it more comfortable for you.

That Mothers Help could be booked for an extra 90 minutes on top of what she already does, so you can attend a class/hobby too

Any idea where I find a mothers help? Never heard of one!

We had mothers helps. The best we advertised in local paper, interviewed about six people and picked the one who was most interested in the cleaning. She’d raised her own family and was a bit bored. The children adored her and she has over a couple of decades become a friend - although we’ve moved areas. She had the older two when I was in labour with third. She felt ownership of the house and frequently told me I didn’t realise how lucky I was with my husband who she was very fond of. She changed her title to housekeeper but was happy walking the children to school, supervising window cleaners, making bolognese and going to swimming lessons.
Her older children were like cousins. It worked perfectly.

Lone parent here.

I lowered my standards. Got online shop delivered. Napped when DC napped. Went out everyday. Didn’t expect anything of myself except looking after us. Found mum friends so we could hang out together and drink coffee. Was so helpful as one could watch the babies while the other made lunch etc. I made everything easy for myself as possible eg we just did sleepsuits instead of clothes. Also took a couple trips to stay with family for a week ‘off’ -well they did cooking etc and watched while I could have a long shower etc.

I genuinely really enjoyed it.