Can't tidy up - is there a name for this feeling?

[Alexaplay]

Hello, I have to get my house cleaned for someone coming round later but I feel like I physically CAN'T do it. I'm sitting here crying instead. I do have severe depression which probably doesn't help, I have a husband who refuses to do anything either which brings me down so low.

What is this called as I never used to be like this, even a year ago. I hated cleaning etc but used to get on with it if I had to. But now I feel frozen and just can't start :( I only have a few hours, just don't know why I can't do it. It's not laziness as I do plenty of other things that exert energy, even though I find them hard too. Can't move!

Are you feeling overwhelmed? You poor thing, it's hard feeling like that.

Don't think about all of it. Can you focus on clearing the table? Start there.

Aslo - bin that husband, but that's another thread

Overwhelmed. Go and clean the loo then come back x

Didn't want to read and run.

I don't know what the proper name is, but I get it too. It sucks.

Have you eaten today?

Aww I know that feeling. Don’t be hard on yourself. Is there any way you could meet your visitors somewhere else to take the pressure off a bit? Go to a cafe or for a walk instead of them coming to you?

If they do have to come, try breaking it down. I manage by telling myself I’ll do ten minutes then have a cup of tea. Set a timer so you know you only have to do a little stint and it’s not totally overwhelming. Start by just taking all the cups and glasses to the kitchen or something.

You might find your depression and lack of motivation improve if you ditch the useless husband. If he’s not pulling his weight he’s adding to your burden and you can do without that.

You're all so kind., I'm sitting crying my eyes out...yes overwhelmed definitely. there is just SO much to do and I have to do it alone, not just my mess but his. Then it will get messed up again. Ok will start with cleaning the loo and table, thank you.

yes, PPs are right. Baby steps and small chunks. Just do 5 minutes then allow yourself to stop for a break.

Or change venue for today.

I used to get my daughter to sort her room with a very specific method. Might work for downstairs too.

First chuck everything onto the floor and make the bed!

Then sort the floor into clothes and non clothes. Put clean clothes away, dirty in the wash.

Everything else is then in the right room or the wrong room,
So divide into piles. If it’s in the right room find it a home, wrong room put it by the door. Then take to it’s home on the way out of the room.

Just breaking it down into easier chunks stopped her from getting overwhelmed and she now keeps it tidy all the time.

I know when you have a whole house to tidy it’s ten times worse, but the same principle applies - plump the sofa cushions, things that don’t belong in the lounge v things that do etc.

And lots of tea breaks! It’s never as bad as it feels once you get going. Probably

But also bear in mind your visitors are most likely not coming to see your house (unless you’re selling or something!) they’re coming to see you and they should take account of the fact that you’re suffering with depression and cut you some slack.

Google impossible task depression

It sucks. Hope you feel better soon x

It's hard when you have it all to do. Juts think of one thing you'd really like done before your friend visits- and do that. If you manage to then do something else, great. If not, the worse jobs done at least.

Would it be easier just to tidy the parts your friend will see - entrance, living room, loo, sort of thing? You might find once you get started, you feel like doing more?

I can empathise with this, it's like some sort of paralysis.

You can get through it today, I'd suggest putting some music and the kettle on and just do a surface swipe, so to speak. Clear away clutter and clean the areas you'll be using.

It doesn't all need to be done today.

twitter.com/mollybackes/status/1034239973392871426?lang=en Have a read of this, OP

Thank you, I'm not doing much at all, got a kind friend to help me for a couple of hours but it's too much. I'm literally frozen and crying. I will google impossible task depression and thank you for the breakdown ideas, that helps a lot.

I have been abused emotionally for years, he makes me feel neurotic for expecting anything slightly more than a hovel. He tells me I have OCD but I don't. I never used to be like this, I'm just realising now how much mess in every way I have got into.

I'm like that. Housework is overwhelming and depressing to me.
Just do the bits you need to do for show and for the future, get someone in to do the housework for you.

I used to feel that kind of inertia when i was depressed, it's part of the illness .

@Alexaplay are you really sure it's that bad...?

My flat is on the market at the moment and definitely needs a proper clean but I just hop through it if I have a last minute viewing. There isn't any way it could be picture perfect as I don't have enough storage, and lots of stuff.

Sorry it sounds like I'm trying to minimise how you feel but I'm not at all, just praps it's not as bad as you think. I hate people being in my home territory.

Hope it all goes well, sounds like your friend is nice

@Alexaplay did it go OK?

You jinxed me, after this thread I received a call about a viewing tomorrow

Bah humbug