Had enough :(

[Hadenough18]

I’m really upset and sick of my DP. I think it might be time to leave.

The last straw is that I’m not being spoken to. I moved some money to pay one bill and didn’t realise another bill would come out automatically and put us overdrawn, we now have to find £300 quite quickly. I know this isn’t great but I don’t think it warrants not being spoken too.

We are skint. My DP lost his job and I had to go back to work early from maternity leave so we could survive and he could retrain as he couldn’t find another job. He is still at uni and not contributing a penny.

I have sacrificed so much for this family, I work so bloody hard to pay the bills and we still have nothing and now he isn’t speaking to me when I made a mistake. And I can’t handle it when he gives me the silent treatment and he knows it.

I turn 30 this weekend and I feel so unloved and frankly I would financially be better off without him anyway.

Can you phone the bank and explain the situation? If it’s a one off then they might be nice and cancel the charge.
As for your DP - it’s petty school kid behaviour to not speak to someone and sulk. It doesn’t sound like a very happy situation. Is he not able to get a part time weekend job?!

The bank rang to say we are overdrawn on an account which shouldn’t be overdrawn :( think we will need to make a payment arrangement. How did it come to this, that £300 could cause this much angst?

It’s not really a happy situation. There is a lot of resentment as I had to go back to work tbh but we had just bought a house and didn’t have much saved for maternity leave so when he lost his job things went downhill pretty fast. And I think he resents me for being the one who works iyswim.

If he’s contributing nothing at all to anything then you would probably be better off financially without him as you’d get some help.
Other than the money situation are you happy together?
Sounds like there’s been a breakdown in communication and you’re both bottling your feelings up. That’s a recipe for disaster as it will push you further and further apart and the resentment will eat you up. Could you write your thoughts down for him to read if he’s refusing to speak to you?

You sound really bright and strong.

I think you need to look into every option available at present (bank/borrow/sell) to get this debt cleared, he needs to get back to work ASAP.

I'm not sure if you're saying you've fallen out of love with him.

How long has he been out of work for? What I'm trying to get at is if he's putting in the effort to get a new job or taking liberties.

It's pathetic OP.

He's sponging (sp?) off you and treating you like crap in the process. I don't think so.

I'd be booting him out. People make mistakes. If he wants to be in charge of the finances and pay the bills his way, he better leave and experience it for himself.

It sounds like the money situation is consuming you both.

Doesn't sound like he is sponging if he is at uni. Assuming he's studying hard and has a plan for a career after.

He probably feels awful for losing his job and forcing his wife to return from maternity leave early.

You probably resent him for losing his job - was it avoidable? Conduct/capability? And for missing out on maternity leave.

Finances must be tight. He isn't contributing. Both of you must feel stressed, resentful and overwhelmed.

You need to be a team again.

How much longer is he studying? Can he get a part time job around uni? Most students work.

If you genuinely love each other then you need to work together. This is temporary. He will graduate and get a job. The pressure on you will ease.

Silent treatment will not help the situation. You both need to sit down and talk about how the situation is effecting you.