I'm pregnant and so can't afford this baby-- don't know how I will cope.

[PistachioPitch]

We don't earn alot and have 3 kids. Youngest is only 6m old and we have really stretched the budget in having her but we decided we could cope financially with another one more and we really wanted 3 kids.

Just found out im pregnant even though i was on the pill. I should be happy, but all I can think of is how are we going to afford it. My house is small. We'll need another car. Where will I get the money from. We don't have thousands to even buy a car. I'll need a double buggy. I'm really really upset. We don't even qualify for help from the government as they've cut benefits for more than 2 kids.

I'm so so worried. I will go to work when youngest is at nursery but I didn't want this for them. Living in poverty.

*something

It does sound nasty and cruel. But when it comes to realistic planning, you need to hear the cruel stuff. You can't go through life thinking "it will be fine in a few years" if your income is simply not going to provide enough. She can certainly do it; many people do but she needs to be aware of it.

keely79 oh yes a sling would save me buying a double buggy. Didnt think of that. Thx

Mamimawr omg that's genius! We have a 3 bed house. It's small. The master bedroom isn't exactly that big. The ds sleep on a bunk bed in one room but there really isn't the space for another bed but this could possible solve this.

The other room is a box room and a bunk bed in there would just be too much.

How old are the bigger kids OP?

I can't believe that people are pushing me to consider an abortion. You know it was the first thing that came into my head when I saw the test stick. I was sick for days feeling that I cannot do it. I was crying and was all over the place. If I am like this when I haven't even done anything and just thinking about it as an option I don't want to know what I would be like if I went through with it. It's not something I had ever had to think about seriously and I have and my future mental health is important for me and my children. Its not a subject to be taken too lightly but some people think you haven't thought about it long and hard enough if you decide to refuse to go down that route. Some women are ok with it and are able to handle it . Some others aren't. I'm not.

The other kids are 6 and 5.

I agree with the sling/second hand carrier option. My DS lived in his Connecta until well over one. How old are your older two? Could you do some studying so that once your youngest starts pre school you could look into a new career?

Feeling your dilemma OP. Try not to lose sleep over it. I'm sure your new arrival will be much loved. Laws are continuously changing so things may well work out.
Everyone wants to give their kids the best.
Times are hard agreed but time to really strategise. Bulk buy when there is huge discounts, even better if you can get friends and family on board here. To bulk buy and share the cost. Budget and meal plan. Buy children's essentials in sales or eBay. Some fantastic new stuff sold for next to nothing! I sell bundles of my DC clothes on eBay and leave the money in my acc and then use it to buy them stuff. Hardly any money passes through my bank account and I seem to do well. It's time consuming and tedious at times but the result is satisfying when I realise how much I have saved over the years. Plus I buy clothes mostly in sales. In the past even grabbing a few bits and bobs when they have the baby clothes sales on and making up brand new newborn bundles ie, £15 stuff bought and sold for £25 on eBay. After they take their cut I am left with about £7-£8 profit. I really enjoyed doing that. Now my youngest is in school so I do work part time.
Find ways of working from home and making some pocket money to ease the burden. I wish you all the best!!

@PistachioPitch

I'm not pushing you to consider abortion. I'm pushing you to really think about what it will be like and prepare for that. Saying "it's just a few years" will mean you will spend the next few years thinking "it won't be like this forever; we will get to afford all the stuff everyone else can" (everyone else can't afford it either, but it's something you will think). If you are using that mantra to get through the toddler years, and then you are still struggling it will be crippling. Don't give yourself the talk of "just a few years". Prepared yourself for the long term.

I got pregnant at 20 and I couldn't afford it. I didnt want an abortion so I kept putting it off. Eventually I was booked for a surgical abortion; I stopped them as they were about to put me under. That's how close I came; the needle almost in my hand. But I didn't do it. I had to decide if I was going to live on very little money or make a plan to change things. I retrained and now have 2 kids, a house I own and earn a good amount. Because I planned long term. I could have told myself "we will just struggle until he gets to school" but my low wage wouldn't have magically increased when he started school. So I made a different plan.

Think long term and make a plan. Not just "we can afford it in a few years" without really knowing how to do that.

If you are great with kids and have a child proofed home, I wonder if you could look to childminding as a job. I know there are limits on numbers, so you might only want to look after one child. But it might work? Then you could start to get an income earlier.

My mum is one of 4 and my nan was one of 14! (Irish catholic family in the 40’s), hardly any money, no benefits or tax credits and guess what? They managed. Kids can be as expensive or as cheap as you want them to be. It’s not the expensive xboxes or designer clothes they remember from their childhoods, it’s cosy, happy family times together. Good luck OP, you sound like a great mum and have a loving home to offer to your new addition.

Op. Id look into doing evening care work. My friend does it as bank staff, usually 6 until midnight. It works for them and is used to fund the families holidays etc.

It will be fine, things usually have a.way of working out.