Fighting siblings

[wheresmyhairytoe]

Just wondering what is normal in respect of siblings fighting?

DS is 11 and DD 9, DS has ASD and has in the past lashed out at DD when in meltdown.
School raised safeguarding concerns which is totally understandable and we had an Early Help Assessment.

DD speaks to her teacher about her worries, which are many ATM, and tells them when DS has hit her. The thing is they often have scraps which I'd deem as normal sibling titting about. She winds him up, hits him when she's losing at something, he hits back etc. My worry is she's telling school everytime they bicker about something when its 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other. So my long winded question is, do other siblings hit each other? I'm not talking about battering the crap out of each other I'm talking about the odd slap or kick as they're walking past. I remember me and my brother dicking about like this but do I have a skewed view?

Well, mine certainly did.
I think that is pretty normal.

Mine are 10, 8 and 6 and never, ever hit each other. Tbh I would be down on them like a ton of bricks if they did, I've always considered it to be completely unacceptable. But I have friends with kids similar ages and a bit of physical scrapping seems the norm for them, and the parents (whilst they don't encourage it, obviously) seem to think it is no big deal. So I guess it depends on the family and the personalities of the children.

Depends on the family. Mine never ever did because I had a strict rule about it. DS was younger and weaker, and DD was 4 years older and more dominant, so if I'd allowed hitting it could have become very nasty. Forbidding it kept the lid on that possibility.

Personally if I was in your situation I'd think about banning all physical aggression . If there is a possibility of it getting out of hand during a meltdown, why let it happen as a matter of course ? Kids will do whatever you allow them to do - if hitting is becoming a problem I'd be putting a stop to it in all situations.

I don't allow it and there's consequences when they do it but it still happens occasionally.
Its not like I've set up a fight club in my living room!

My brother hit me until we were about in secondary school (he was an early and big teen by then).
My kids slap each other and wrestle, but they are little still.