DD doesn't know how to write an introduction for her 1st essay? Can it start like this?

[batteryinpo]

I'm absolutely no help to her. Never finished school, etc. etc.

She has to write an essay in 1st person about her university choices.

She is thinking of starting the introduction as "by the end of this essay, I will have outlined" to me the "by the end of this essay" not doesn't seem like the best start??

The purpose of this essay is to...?

Look up reflective writing introductions. I hate it so you'll find some useful tips.

What's the purpose of the essay? What's she studying? How old is she? The answers to these questions will help :)

"In this essay, I will be examining and responding to"?

She's 17 and the essay is just about universities she wants to go to and comparing them.

Can you give us the actual question?

I would say something like

“In considering the choice of universities, there are a number of determining factors, which will be outlined during the course of this essay”

Answer questions to build an intro

The purpose of this essay is..... because i want to achieve.....
I will do this by.......

Write it briefly as a guide, write the essay then re-write the intro at the end to make it fit what you did later on.

OK. I don't like 'in this essay, I will be...' as it sounds very juvenile. In my view, her introduction should state what she plans to study and the universities she has considered. Something like this :

At university, I have decided to study X, because Y. I have considered universities A, B and C, comparing the courses as well as other factors such as the locations and the facilities.

Are you sure this isn't her personal statement for her UCAS application rather than an essay?

Is she able to ask tutor/careers/college for advice? They will be able to give relevant and appropriate help as they will know the current way of doing things.

I always used to (try to) start essays with a dynamic, attention-grabbing proposition. I would be tempted to start this essay by saying something general about the challenge of finding a course that matched my own interests and ambitions, in a university with a broader environment and culture that also appealed to me. I would talk about how I'd structured my decision-making process first, before going on to compare the universities I'd considered.

So, something like 'The most difficult part of choosing my preferred universities was ..." as an opener (a short sentence) and then onto, 'in this essay, I'll demonstrate how I overcame this challenge to find a selection with which I felt confident".