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My son's tics are driving me up the wall!! Please help

65 replies

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 19:25

He is in yr 8
He is teeth slacking
He is lip smacking

He is driving me fucking bonkers.

It has been going on for months / years on and off

Nobody has any bright ideas.
I have done all the talking to him about how he feels.(He doesn't have a clue)
I have done all the ignoring the tics (it makes no sodding difference)

I have asked for help for years ( he isn't suicidal so sod off)

We had input from the school nurse (not actually qualified in mental health)
She thought he wasn't engaging with the service ( four meetings over 8 months and two nurses and they were pissed off he wouldn't spill his inner feelings.)

I love him and want to help him but all of my ideas have failed.

Please help !!!

OP posts:
Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 19:30

teeth clacking

OP posts:
Dadsbigsausages · 15/09/2018 19:35

In my experience all they can offer is cognitive behavioural therapy. My ds is 6 and has had tics for two years, at times so badly he couldn't walk in a straight line. His legs were so jittery. He would also fall off chairs from shrugging his upper body so much.

The medication for tics is last resort and imo very harmful in its own way. Has your son been to any childhood tic support groups through cahms? I know we have a group for kids in our area but we haven't been along.

We also have no idea what emotions trigger the tics as our little son hasn't got a clue. They just happen (his dad also has them).

We are just told keep him occupied, give him the confidence to not worry about something he can't stop, ignore them and hope for the best 😐

One thing we have found that helps is swimming, my boy doesn't tic in the water so we go once a week to relax his body and mind.

springlike · 15/09/2018 19:42

Watching with interest as my DS has just started Yr 9 and has starting again with the sudden jerky facial movements. Has been fine all summer and was very happy to return to school so no known troubles. Has suffered over the years with facial movements, blinking and noises! Usually last a few weeks then disappear so really hoping they disappear soon. Will be reading for any advice for OP.

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 19:45

thank you for your reply sausages and I am sorry you have similar issues. It breaks my heart at times to see him (and other times I just want to scream)

CAMHs won't even see him . He has had 3 referrals refused.

His confidence is building and his tics definitely get worse around school but in general when we talk to him he seems to be ok with schoo! . He is very bright and managed the work pretty easily but socially may be not as easily.

OP posts:
Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 19:49

spring I'm sorry you also have similar. It's just so frustrating . He seems relatively happy in himself. Has a few good friends and managed the workload at school.

However he definitely worries more than is 'normal' about the most random of things and holes himself in his room in a cocoon type place playing games with friends.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 15/09/2018 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 15/09/2018 19:59

I can sympathise OP my dp does the teeth thing when he is stressed or anxious...i just want to knock his teeth out Angry
also does some other facial grimacy stuff.

My eldest dc also has tics that emerge when he is feeling a bit overwhelmed he does a sucky noise in his cheeks which I can just about handle. It used to be constant throat clearing (i now get silent rage when i hear people clear their throat)

Is your son on any kind of long term medication, generally anxious or have any obsessive/compulsive traits?

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 19:59

zzzz thank you . He did have gum at school last term , I had forgotten and I will remind him.fun

The opening up comments came from the school nurse rather than me. I don't blame them , they admitted (off the record) that they are mopping up the children that CAMHs don't have time to deal with.

OP posts:
Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 20:04

lemonade he does have some compulsive traits. He does love a digital clock with 12:12 for example or any other neat and tidy number. This sadly does not translate into a neat and tidy bedroom!

He also has a likeness for certain clothes and he is a ridiculously fussy eater. Textures are a huge thing for him.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 15/09/2018 20:07

This reply has been deleted

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RedPencil · 15/09/2018 20:07

I've had tics since I was 4 and I'm now an adult. As I could older I learned to make them look more 'normal' - look like I was tossing my hair or clearing my throat etc.

I'm currently being tested for autism and have anxiety issues

zzzzz · 15/09/2018 20:11

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madeiramosaic · 15/09/2018 20:16

If CAMHS refuse referral would paediatric neurology see him?

Jagblue · 15/09/2018 20:18

Ill try therapy cbt or hypnotherapy. It may help worth a try.

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 20:19

zzzz we don't mention it at home but at school other people do. And I don't blame them , it must be really distracting . Thankfully people seem to like him so there doesn't seem to be any bullying but he is still very obviously aware he is different.

OP posts:
Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 20:21

I have no idea maderia is that a self referral ? What assessments would they do?

OP posts:
zzzzz · 15/09/2018 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 20:29

Honestly zzzz no one has ever been mean to him about it but a few people last year asked him about it or asked him to be quiet. At the time the kids were 11 and I don't expect them to be completely perfect. I don't saw anything to him but I can see how a 11/12 yr old could get grumpy at him after listening to the constant teeth clacking and noisy lip smacking would ask him to please stop it.

OP posts:
Madeiramosaic · 15/09/2018 20:31

Tics are common to movement issues seen by neurologists and they are able to tell them apart from other things - GP referral.

Elephantgrey · 15/09/2018 20:32

I have Tourette's. I would see if you notice a pattern of when he has tics. For a lot of people it is when they haven't got something to focus on.

Medication does not often help. Has he ever seen an occupational therapist. A sensory assessment might help here. People often have tics if they are over or under stimulated.

Howlongtillbedtime · 15/09/2018 20:40

I have been to the gp a few times madeira and that has never been mentioned . Will bear it in mind.

elephant every time I think we have a pattern something happens to mess it up. Other than school which appears to be a constant but not much we can do about that other than keep reassuring him. It does normally calm after a few weeks at school and over the ho!idays.

I think it's around anxiety but the professionals seem to be not so sure.

OP posts:
hotstepper4 · 15/09/2018 20:44

My ds tics. He's 8. His main one was throat clearing but now it's more grunting and repeating words.

He has a diagnosis of Tourettes Syndrome. It's mild for now. Have you had this checked?

ShackUp · 15/09/2018 20:46

DS1 is 5 and I can see him going down this route, he's got SPD and is always on the go. Watching with interest.

Girlsnightin · 15/09/2018 20:51

My DC is exactly the same regarding everything in your second post. After my mum died he appears to be coping ok but the tics appeared. I took him to the docs who said it's common at his age. His have disappeared. I ignoredctgem all except the one where he was clicking his fingers to the point they were bleeding.
Have you been to the docs? Mine said to go back if it didn't go away on its own.

PrincessIsAUnicorn · 15/09/2018 22:04

My DS had had tics, his head would jerk to the right, tap his hand on his thigh and suck in breaths every now and then, had it from year 5-6 all the way through secondary school, stopped after his GCSE's, am still keeping an eye on him though. It gets a bit annoying when in the same room for long periods of time (I sympathise with you there) when I brought it to his attention, he had no idea he was doing it.  ThanksGinfor you @Howlongtillbedtime

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