Would you be ok with your teen drinking at a party?

[QueenOfIce]

Just that really, if your teen (14) were going to a birthday party would you be ok and give permission for them to drink?

I am against it but in this instance my view isn't important.

I am dreading this age. I wouldn't be happy with it but I know that it's sometimes easier to acknowledge and put in some boundaries rather than completely ban.

I did when my dc were that age, but they and their friends were only allowed one alcopop and most didn't finish it. It made them feel adult, but there was plenty of squash and appletise and other more attractive soft drinks which they preferred.

If it was in a supervised situation with an adult I trusted I would let them have a couple.

Nope. 14 is too young. 16th birthday parties are another matter however...I am surprised there are parents allowing alcohol at a party at such a young age (and I am a well worn down parent of a 16,19,21 year old!)

I was relaxed about it because I was always allowed to drink, so would feel like a hypocrite otherwise. Despite my laxness, DS has never abused this and even after his prom when he came in at 3am, he was just a little merry, his group of friends had shared one bottle of cava. At 18 he still doesn't drink to excess. I think placing trust in him to be sensible, whilst being open about how crap it is to be hungover or do things you wouldn't normally do and might regret has given him a healthy attitude to drinking.

Made me feel quite sad when my dsd told me she'd been given permission, obviously things have changed etc but can't help but feel it's too young and there's so much time to feel 'grown up' she's been and had a spray tan, got some heels and a bottle of cheap wine.

Mum2jenny
That was the arrangement in our friendship group too. People had the option of one beer or one alcopop from year 10. Parents were always around. Nobody took advantage. The view was better to teach how to be responsible and enjoy alcohol socially than to promote the view of drinking to get inebriated.

Sure at 16/17 we did the whole house party get drunk thing but generally had a better handle on drinking and didn't see it as the aim of an evening.

If I didn't trust the adults or know the friends well then I could see why you might have reservations.

At 14|? No way! And I say that as a very relaxed parent but 14 is far too young.

yes maybe one drink at 14. But I would expect it to be supervised.

I was 13 back in 1999 and I remember drinking a bottle of wkd blue at my birthday party! And at other girls parties...

No.

No. 14 is too young to drink at a party.

At 16 or 17, small amounts of weak beer or weak cider or wine under supervision. Not before that.

At the family dinner table it would be OK slightly younger but not at a party.

DD has started going to 16th birthday parties but has only recently turned 15 as she's young in her year. I've let her take 1 fruit cider then some J20.

As a youngster, back in the days, I was drinking all sorts of shit from around 12. Today's kids are much better informed and I hope don't do the shit we did.

14??? No way !!! I don’t know anyone who would allow that.

Not content you obviously didn't mix in the circles I did

Yes. I was drinking half a glass of wine with lemonade from age 8, so no problem at all for me

There's a huge difference between being allowed diluted wine, lemonadey shandies etc at home with you parents and being given alcohol to take to a party where more/stronger stuff may be available.

My DDs have been allowed to sample what DH and I are having or a weak version off. They generally don't like it- because alcohol doesn't taste nice to developing senses. However , strong alcopops which taste sweet and remarkably like fizzy drinks goes down too well despite being the strength of a strong lager.

14 is too young , look at any of the research on cerebral and physical development to see how physiologically immature they are at 14. Hence 21 in America..

16 for small amount of alcopops or cider for my DDs. And if they come home looking as if more has been consumed that I will no longer allow that. Recently had 14 year old DD4 ask (chancing it) if she could take something to a home party. Said no - she was fine. Some pals allowed some not, no problems resulting . Only ones who haven't partaken are allowed to come back to Lidlhome after. No way am I having the responsibility for potentially tipsy 14 year olds.

As a secondary teacher I see they consequences of teenagers struggling to cope with the results of drunken mistakes . Spewing, snogging (and more), stupid behaviour filmed and shared is hard enough to deal with in Freshers Week. 14 year olds not equipped to deal with that.

14 is too young in my view for alcohol (other than occasionally with parents at special occasions). For me 16 was the lowest age for drinking with friends at parties. Even that is a concern, but by then it just seems that absolutely everyone is drinking and it’s much harder to police. The difference between 14 and 16 is quite pronounced for most teenagers. I have a 17 year old and a 14 year old. Their lives are very different.

So after the party you discover that teen has been given 4 cans of mixed drink ie pimms or the like to take to said party and had a few shots on top. At what point is it then ok not for an underage person to drink? Clearly there was no responsible adult around.

With no adult present then I think 14 is too young.
14 year olds having 1 or 2 lower % drinks when there's an adult present would be fine by me. (That's what we did)

I don't think 14 year olds should be being packed off to parties with multiple cans and they shouldn't be doing shots.
Someone is promoting drink mixing and at 14 they don't know their limits, probably can't handle much alcohol and if something went wrong then unaccompanied minors are more likely to panic and not know what to do.

Her attitude towards it was 'yeah so mum bought it for me' doesn't see her age at 14 and being trusted to drink only what she was given an issue.

If she was 16 it would be different, I'm not a party pooper but I feel really strongly about being alcohol in those amounts being given to a 14yr old. Anyway I have shared my concerns with my dh and the rest is up to the parents.

Jesus so many typos sorry, ignore the extra 'being' that was slotted in!

Seems to be very common at many 14 year old party's these days. I was shocked. But it seems 'all the rage'. I'd had no idea!!