How to help a child overcome emetophobia?

[Afternooninthepark]

Over the last 6-8 weeks, my usually happy go lucky, easy going 10 year old dd has suddenly developed this huge fear of vomiting/feeling sick and it’s becoming so bad that she is in tears most days, I don’t know what to do for her.
It started during the summer hols. She developed a uti and it made her feel queasy. She went on antibiotics which made her queasiness even worse. The uti has completely cleared up but she has become obsessed about feeling sick. We can’t travel too far as she complains she feels unwell. She is constantly saying she feels queasy, we have tears in the morning as she doesn’t want to go to school in case she feels queasy and is worried that someone in her class may come down with a tummy bug.
It’s becoming so bad that her friend said to her that no one likes her any more because she is always going on about bugs/germs.
The gp has checked her over and she is fine. I’m making her ginger tea and have bought her an aromatherapy bracelet with peppermint oil on it to sniff if she feels queasy but it’s becoming an obsession.
I just don’t know what to do for her, it’s come out of the blue.
We are supposed to go away for the weekend but she is in a right old state worrying she will get travel sick or feel ill whilst away.
Does anyone have any experience with this or tips I can try to distract her thought process as I’m sure it’s now more an emotional/mental thing than physical.

Sorry to hear you are both suffering (you as the knock-on effect), I had a quick google and came up with this - have a look and see if can take anything useful away from it, dont need to buy the programme but can read all the info

www.turnaroundanxiety.com/help-kids-afraid-throwing-getting-sick-part-1/

Thanks for that smurfy

No probs - also to treat nausea and I would consider getting her a pair of seabands - they can help a lot with nausea

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2080912-Sea-Bands-for-nausea -

an old thread which explains them and as no meds are involved just a couple of bands on wrists but in a specific place there shouldn't be any side effects apart from potentially a mark where the band has been sitting if wearing day and night, but the same for anyone of us if we literally had a couple of hair bobbles around the wrist as well

Suggest downloading a guide as how exact position to sit the ball of the sea band / cheaper alternatives on as it works by accupressure I think

Is there an underlying anxiety about anything?

I work for a charity which runs emotional regulation groups in conjunction with CAMHS. We see emetophobia in teens sometimes. Your school or GP will know of anything similar in your area. Likewise, some schools are very good at pastoral care and counselling. I'd quietly ask around. Your GP will see you without your DD present if a germ filled surgery is too much for her.

smurfy we got some a few weeks back, they help to a degree.
show I do think anxiety is playing a big role here just not sure if it’s anxiety as a result of initially feeling queasy or the queasiness was triggered by anxiety?? She isn’t having a great time with her best friend atm, I think that may be playing a part in this.

Oh God. I went through this at a similar age and am still phobic I'm afraid. I think mine was triggered by a bug in school, where a few kids were sick in school so I started trying to avoid school to keep away.

I don't really know how I got over it, I guess life had to carry on somehow. Over the years I've definitely made adaptations to try and avoid other people being sick near me (I never used to get the last train home in case super drunk people were sick for example).

Now I've got kids, again, I've just had to deal with it when they're sick, but it leaves me shaking for days, and if I hear of a bug doing the rounds, my blood literally runs cold.

I wish I could help with more advice, in my 20s I used to get a bit more anxious about it, and had to develop slow breathing techniques and acupressure points to calm myself down, which helped. Also talking about what's the worst that could happen - she was sick, and then she'd feel better (my phobia is much more about other people being sick).

My son (11) had never been a sickly young child if he was ill it was for a few days and he would never physically be sick. About a year ago we went in holiday and while in the airport before our flight got some breakfast he had an egg that afterwards he said tasted funny- 20 minutes later he was vomiting everywhere 🤮now he is terrified he will be sick again when we go in holiday even if we are not flying he associates going on holiday with being sick! It's awful to watch him go through this. Last week he had an appointment at hospital about his worrying as we've realised he is quite anxious over other things too. I'm hoping talking to someone helps him to realise that going on holiday should be fun and nothing to worry about! Perhaps speaking to the doctor may help OP? Good luck with it x

My dd also has anxiety and the difficulty is that you can't 100% promise that the thing they are afraid of will never happen or can be prevented if enough adaptations are made. Eg you can't promise she wont ever be sick again, the same way you can't promise she wont ever have a nose bleed, or wet herself, or have a waitress spill come all over her favourite clothes. But perhaps talking through those equivalent risks and exploring why being sick is the fear and not other potential illnesses/accidents might reveal something?

My dd is often afraid of things I dont quite expect eg that she will die if she has tonsilitis. Hope you and you dd find a way round this

*coke not come!

Did you go away over the summer or did she swim in a river? Sadly dismissed my son's constant nausea as stress and nerves - turns out he had become infected with a parasite which is transmitted through people not cleaning their hands properly or through water.

@milkjetmum I'm reading this thread because I'm struggling enormously with emetophobia at the moment & have got a bit worked up while reading, but I have to say that autocorrect made me laugh a lot  so thank you for providing a little light relief!

Thanks all. I really think it’s an anxiety driven thing as she was fine again this weekend (just like last weekend) and then last night she says she feels queasy again. I have to be honest and say I do have a little bit of emetophobia myself (thought I was doing a great job hiding it!!!). I dread the winter school term as sick bugs are always rife and I’m on edge worrying dc will come down with it.

Hi all, my DD also suffers with emetophobia. She's 11

We tried seeing a therapist who kept focusing on what was the initial cause of it, which we never got to the bottom of. We had 6-7 sessions and to be honest it seemed to make her worse as it really focused her on it, and the therapist at one point said 'this is the WORST POSSIBLE PHOBIA you could have!'...........not helpful at all.

After we decided mutually that we weren't getting anywhere, she suggested we try reading Susan Jeffers 'Feel the fear and do it anyway', which we are doing with her with some success. It's an adult book so we read it to her and relate it to her fear.

I have also discovered the Thrive program by Rob Kelly. It was actually a thread on MN that took me to it. Search him on You Tube, lots of useful videos for you as parent to watch (not suitable for the child IMO). I have also ordered DD his book, specific for youngsters 'Cure your emetophobia and thrive' by Rob Kelly. It's a work book that you work through with your child. The theme is very similar to the Feel the fear book, which I like. It's all about changing your locus of control and your mindset. The other thing I like is that both books say it doesn't matter what the initial cause was, it's irrelevant, the point is to move forward.

My DD has already made some really good improvements. Just two weeks ago she was coming down to us most evenings, inconsolable, saying all she could see and hear when she closed her eyes was people being sick.

She hasn't been down to us for over a week now. She says she feels more in control. She's not over it yet but it's a six week program. She is definitely improving and we as a family are very positive about it.

The child needs to know that it will take time and effort but they CAN recover from this.

I'm v keen to liaise with other parents going through the same. I think this Thrive program is worth a look at.

Cure Your Emetophobia And Thrive Young Person’s Edition – for 8-18 year olds https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0993432921/ref=cmswwrcpptai_F3oPBbYAV0FG2

You Tube stuff.....emetophobia expert

Wow. I'm reading with interest as a lifetime emetophobe (started at age 5, now 46 and only mildly better I'm afraid), I'd heard but forgotten about the Thrive programme. Thanks for posting the Emetophobia Expert thing!

I limp through most of the year, I've taken meds for the last 20 years but loathe Christmas because of the endless talk of sickness. Hey ho, everyone's been banging on about noro for months so I guess its not limited to winter anymore.

Every sympathy to your DD OP - the only advice I can offer to you is to simply be calm and compassionate. I'm sure you are, but my mum just got frustrated and angry and that meant I internalised it. Who knows, if I hadn't maybe I'd have grown out of it. She's 81 now, and only in the grip of Alzheimer's has she recently mentioned that she'd had the same phobia since she had intestinal TB (who knew that was a thing?) and was so so sick. I never knew that, I thought she simply believed I was stupid.

Definitely worth looking at the Thrive stuff RadioDorothy....he reckons it doesn't matter how long you've had it, you can cure yourself of it.

I'm willing to give it a go! I've had everything from CBT and psychotherapy to acupuncture, counselling and hypnotherapy. Part of me thinks it's just "habit" - I automatically panic.

I was one of 9 people who got horribly ill after a party a few years ago, and I wasn't even sick.

Oh I haven't RTFT but I posted about my child last year. I had good advice. Let me link it in the next post.

We got a great book too. He's absolutely fine now (a year later), after he got into a routine and just the passing of time. But at the time is was HORRIBLE and I really sympathise.

Damn I can't find it. Maybe in chat?

Anyway it started in June 2017 after he rushed an ice cream smoothie. He obviously felt queasy. He wasn't sick.

The next day he felt ill and then it got wrapped up with anxious tears and he had the fear of 'feeling' ill. So not actually feeling ill but being worried he was going to feel ill.

I had a phone call from school as apparently he'd been sick. Unwitnessed but it got me home from work.

I toughened up a bit.

We talked about friendships and eating habits. Tried to cover everything. He didn't like feeling 'different'.

It started in June then sort of resolved after cub camp in October. He just kept crying. It was awful.

We got the book 'what to do when you worry too much' and read it together. It was a huge help.

It did resolve though.

I never did any rescue remedy type placebos as I didn't want to support the idea that there was something physical to treat. The only thing we did short time was cut out very milky/ice cream type stuff as I think it was just too similar to the origin of his nausea.

I have had this phobia since the age of seven.
I have it severely and it varies in peaks and waves in terms of how bad it can sometimes be.
It’s a terrifying and debilitating fear and you are doing all the right things.
for you

Found it.

I think my 8yo is an emetophobe www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childrens_health/3025915-i-think-my-8yo-is-an-emetophobe

I had hypnotherapy for my emetophobia which had plagued me for over 30 years. Really worked for me so maybe something you could try?

Useful thread FloweryThorn