Birthday disappointment

[ThunderOnlyHappens]

A few weeks ago DH and I were at a jewellers, and I said to him that I really liked a necklace. It was only £30ish quid, but I really liked it. I said that I would like it for my birthday. Last week DH made a comment about going back to the shop and buying something etc etc.

Today is my birthday, and he has given me....a bright yellow portable radio to replace the perfectly functional one in the kitchen.

I got upset, I don't really care about having a new radio, and really thought I was getting this lovely necklace. Am I just being ungrateful and a bit spoilt?

I know it's not the point but can you go and buy it yourself?

Happy Birthday but don't let it spoil your day.

Maybe he’s going to give it to you later? A garish radio seems like an odd present, particularly as you already have one that works, and also that he mentioned the necklace again.

Either way, perhaps you can buy it for yourself? Don’t let it ruin the day. Happy birthday

Sadly not, it's about 150 miles away. We were on holiday and DH had a week to buy it. I even deliberately didn't go into town one day with him so he could sneak off even more easily!

Yes, I shall try and shake it off. But still, one radio was plenty.

I feel for you OP. He sounds a bit dense.

No, definitely not getting it later on. He seems baffled as to why I'm not leaping for joy over it. I sent him a link for a hairdryer I'd like in case of no necklace which is when he said he'd got it.

Tbh I think he made a mad dash at lunch yesterday. The card came from the box of cards we give to children, and the gift bag was one I bought to keep 'in case'

Happy birthday
Are you sure the radio isn't a joke present and he'll give you the necklace later?

The card thing would upset me too. He's been very thoughtless, shows a lack of respect.

OP I completely sympathise. I can completely imagine this scenario playing out in our house.

I don’t think it would ever cross DH’s mind to think about birthdays more than 2 or 3 days beforehand when he would just stick some cash in an envelope

It is disappointing. Most people like to feel special on their birthday and it usually falls to partners to make that happen. I can understand why you feel let down, it doesn't sound like he's put much effort onto making you feel special. Try and enjoy your day and the next chance you get, buy the necklace yourself!

I have clearly expressed to him that I do not

A) want electronics for my birthday, ever
B) if I had wanted to buy a radio for the kitchen we would have bought one
C) that I like jewellery, make-up, handbags and perfume. Either of these=unbridled joy.
D) he owes me

Happy Birthday 🎂 op
If you can afford the necklace would you be able to phone the shop and describe the one you want to them? If so, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to post it out to you. Then stick the radio in a cupboard and wear your new necklace at every opportunity

Some people just don’t get birthdays and their importance.

Others (me included) find them very important and spend a lot of time thinking about getting the best (not necessarily expensive) present so find it upsetting when others don’t do the same

I’ve had to learn that the lack of thought put into my pressies doesn’t mean my dh doesn’t care or love me, he is just not great at present buying. It’s a tough one though.

Happy birthday OP. I sympathise, my DH is kind but not that great at present buying. Unless it’s on my amazon wishlist, I find it’s better to just buy it for myself, as all the subtle hints in the world don’t work! Does the shop have a website or Facebook page where you can buy the necklace? Today is the day to treat yourself.

Sorry he’s been so thoughtless OP. Is he at least sorry? I agree with a few of the others though, can you contact the shop and get yourself the necklace? It would have the added benefit of hopefully making him squirm when he realises you’ve had to sort out your own present after giving him ample opportunity to surprise you.

Every single man I've ever known has been shite at buying presents. Last year my partner got me something for my 30th that had zero thought and effort, £20 perfume and a candle from the card shop. I later told him and he went out and bought me something else.

This is why I started making an Amazon wish list. Mind you I only ever get items precisely from the wish list so there's no surprises .

Happy birthday OP. Is he at least taking you out later?

Maybe buy him an iron for his birthday.

I'm lucky if I get anything at all for my birthday from DH. He is so shit at buying presents that I've stopped being bothered by it now .

150 miles is a long way to go for a £30 necklace.

The divvy should have bought it while you were there on holiday. Could you order one online?

Happy birthday 🎁 y

I completely understand how you feel, what a waste of money and missed chance for a cherished gift.

Numpty!

Actually I need a radio so if you want to sell it...

Happy birthday!
Learn for the future. If you like something, buy it for yourself.
My DH's heart was in the right place... but our tastes differed ... and he often chose something I didn't particularly like. And if you're not flush with money it can be a waste as well as a disappointment.
My birthday is about me getting something nice that I like and want!! Not hoping year after year in vain that DH will pick up on some hint and buy me something. And if you have to tell him precisely - and he still doesn't buy it- then just sort it yourself.

Return the radio, don't keep something that you don't want, if you keep it then he may well say in the future.. but you use it.