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Original poster

This is odd right? Re: kids party

36 replies

Crunchymum · 13/09/2018 15:41

DC1 has been invited to a party at the weekend. Invite says joint party but there are only details for one kid "please come to Bella's party" (and rsvp for the parent of this child. I've sent a message and said "My child A would love to come to Bella's party".

I assumed the "joint" party child was someone unknown to us, hence the invite just being to one child's party of the party, but it turns out that Bella is having a joint party with Charlie who is also in DC's class? So my child has not been invited to Charlie's part of the party?

Sorry if it's confusing. But this is odd right?

OP posts:
mummyeme · 13/09/2018 15:43

She's probably invited some children and he's invited others to the same party

NakedMum33and3rd · 13/09/2018 15:43

We did similar with a joint party as we didn't wants people to feel pressurised into buying two gifts as we knew how costly it could be.

PinkAvocado · 13/09/2018 15:43

Maybe they could invite ten each and the parents thought it’d help people by not having to buy two presents.

cjt110 · 13/09/2018 15:44

And it's probably so you don't have to buy two lots of gifts? You only have to buy for Bella (the one inviting) and not Charlie.

SlipperyLizard · 13/09/2018 15:50

I agree, they don’t want people to feel obliged to buy 2 gifts.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 13/09/2018 15:52

See I did think this but some kids have been invited to Bella & Charlie's joint party?

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 13/09/2018 15:52

it’s so that people don’t feel they have to buy two presents.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 13/09/2018 15:52

No that sounds normal to me.

My twins had a joint party but invited their own friends. They were invited by the individual not the pair of them, the lash thing I wanted the parents to feel is that they had to get two gifts.

BlackrockMum · 13/09/2018 15:54

I've seen this before, had a few and been invited to a good few joint party's especially in DS class at school as there are 30 of them, only boys school so usually parents just say on invite one present, and kids dole them out, but recently been a few joint parties with girls and in that case parents seem to divide invites up so you only get one present still , but present you might buy for girl could be different to boy of same age. Seems to work

BlackrockMum · 13/09/2018 15:56

parents also only pay for ones they invited, allows them to invite neighbours, cousins etc without expecting other parents to share costs when part was in a paid activity

Original poster
Crunchymum · 13/09/2018 15:58

But why would they invite kids to Bella and Charlie's party and others just to Bella's?

Should I just breath a sigh of relief that I don't have to get two gifts? Grin

OP posts:
AspieHere · 13/09/2018 15:59

The joint ones are probably already known to the parents and they don't want to appear as CF for asking parents they don't know for 2 presents.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 13/09/2018 15:59

Both party kids are girls if it makes a difference.

OP posts:
AlanBrazil · 13/09/2018 16:00

I imagine that the number of invites was split between the two children and Charlie’s parent wrote the invitations from both and Bella’s didn’t!

myrtleWilson · 13/09/2018 16:00

Has anyone been invited to just Charlie's party?

If not then maybe Charlie and Bella's invite writers haven't conferred on the etiquette of invitations for a joint party - Bella has gone for single named inviter whereas Charlie's has gone down the route of joint joint party..

UsedBySomebodyAlready · 13/09/2018 16:03

If ever a Venn diagram were needed, is here.

picklemepopcorn · 13/09/2018 16:04

Maybe they made a list each, some were invited by one and others by both.

Believeitornot · 13/09/2018 16:05

We were thinking of having a joint party. Each child would have done a list of kids they want to invite. If there were overlaps hen we’d have one invite from both kids. If only one child invited them, then only from one child.
Makes sense to me. You buy a gift for whoever you’ve been invited by.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 13/09/2018 16:06

I wouldn't even know where to begin with a diagram.

I now feel like gatecrashing Charlie's party Grin

OP posts:
EdisonLightBulb · 13/09/2018 16:09

I wouldn't stress, Id be glad that only one card and present was expected and pretend you never knew about Charlie. Are you concerned because you think Charlie doesn't like your DC?

Witchend · 13/09/2018 16:09

Dd2 had a joint party with a friend in year 1.
We decided we'd invite all the girls but divided them in half for the invites with the theory they only needed to buy one present.
This didn't actually work as everyone except one turned up with two presents anyway, but that was the theory. I think if we'd done it again we'd have spelt it out that one present was more than enough.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 13/09/2018 16:11

My guess is they have split the guest list as PP have said.
I had the opposite once - DC came home from preschool with an invitation to a joint birthday party - two names. Asked DC who they were, she said two girls from pre school. Duly bought two cards and gifts. Child 1 was a friend from preschool, child 2 was her (male, unisex name) cousin who we had never met!!

Loonoon · 13/09/2018 16:14

Bella suggested some guests because they are her good friends and Charlie suggested others because they are his. Obviously there will be some overlap and they are the ones who were invited by both children and will also be the ones whose parents will have to stump up for two gifts and cards.

It sounds very tactful and ungrabby of the parents involved.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/09/2018 16:17

I dont think it Sounds weird.
It looks like the mums could be friends and coincidentally both Bella and Charlie share the same Birthday or there abouts and they've decided to each split the cost of hiring a hall ect. Charlies invited some of his friends. Bella has invited some of hers.
As pp said it could also be so that parents don't feel obliged to buy 2 presents.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/09/2018 16:20

You're right it's odd and seems set up to cause offence. I would have assumed that Bella was having joint party with an out of school friend so you only knew one of the children.

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