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Original poster

Would you be annoyed if your dh said he found another woman attractive?

24 replies

memany · 13/09/2018 07:56

DH met someone he hadn't seen in a while. They got chatting and he showed him a photo of his son and wife.

DH said she was absolutely gorgeous, really beautiful, he couldn't stop looking at the photo and she was stunning.

He kind of went on about it. I got annoyed at him and told him to stop as I thought it was inappropriate.

Am I being really insecure and sensitive? I've just had a baby and I think he could have been a bit tactful tbh.

OP posts:

CryptoFascist · 13/09/2018 07:59

I wouldn't like that either, no need for him to go on about it is there? Very immature of him.

MiniTheMinx · 13/09/2018 08:00

Yes. As you say if he was tactless, inappropriate and kept going on about it.

Fatted · 13/09/2018 08:01

I wouldn't be arsed in all honesty if he was telling me. Yes it is untactful but at least if he's telling you it suggests he's not likely to go running off with her. Also doesn't mean he thinks any less of you.

RiverTam · 13/09/2018 08:01

No, that’s not right. Fair enough to comment that she’s beautiful or whatever, absolutely not to go on about it and say he can’t stop staring at her photo. That’s incredibly hurtful and dickish.

CherryPavlova · 13/09/2018 08:02

He could be more tactful but men often aren’t. It’s not unreasonable to notice a beautiful person and even comment but no need to go to excess.

ElspethFlashman · 13/09/2018 08:02

Yeah there was no need for it. Talk about hammering the point home unnecessarily.

I mean, I might say it once "Turns out she's bloody gorgeous! Who'd have thought he'd get a good looking one, hur hur hurrrrrr!" But that's just making conversation.

What would not be just making conversation is if I then doubled down and repeated how gorgeous she was and how I couldn't stop looking at the photo. That's just really rude and pig ignorant.

cloudtree · 13/09/2018 08:03

If it's Catherine Zeta-Jones no issue. If its Margaret down the street I'd have a big issue with it!

LoveAGoodChat · 13/09/2018 08:04

I wouldn't like that either op, I mean everyone is human and we all have eyes and notice if a person near us /on tv/ in a magazine/on a photo etc is attractive, but your husband is being a bit extreme to keep staring at the photo and going on about how attractive she is to YOU,..is there any chance of him trying to arrange a meet up with this acquaintance in the hopes of meeting his wife in person?

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2018 08:04

What, in front of his friend and you? That's bloody odd. Not just disrespectful to you, but His mate wouldn't have liked him perving on his wife either.

Eugh.

misskatamari · 13/09/2018 08:05

Yanbu, that's really over the top. I wouldn't have any issue with dh commenting that his friends wife was gorgeous, but the going on about it and keeping staring at the picture is just unnecessary and weird. Who goes on like that to their wife and thinks it's okay? I'd definitely be annoyed op, what was he thinking?!

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 13/09/2018 08:10

Make sure the 'new' window cleaner /postman gets a roaring review to dh too.

WhatAPandemonium · 13/09/2018 08:12

There was really no need for that. He's an idiot.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 13/09/2018 08:15

I don't have a problem with expressing that anyone finds someone attractive. It's a bit off to keep going on about it though.

MsHomeSlice · 13/09/2018 08:16

Is he usually such an oaf? Did he shut up when you told him you were upset? Is he still mooning over the most beautiful woman in the world?

If any of those questions are a "yes" answer then you have a problem really.

Does he keep a photo of you in his wallet? ..I don't have any photos that I carry about, and pretty sure dh doesn't either well not last time I rifled through his wallet for tenners anyways

Was the photo in question genuinely this bloke's wife or just something he'd clipped out of "Hello" magazine of some obscure supermodel?

Would you say he had a wandering eye generally or likes you to feel beholden to him?

As a one off I might let it go, tell him how I was feeling and how he'd made me feel so much worse but if he is a repeat offender at ogling women then it's more than tragic.

Notquiteagandt · 13/09/2018 08:24

Tbh it wouldnt bother me as I say simular things all the time.

Be differant if he was saying it direct to the person. Going on and on.

Anything other than a you look lovely/great etc would be inapropiate in person.

CandidaAlbicans · 13/09/2018 08:35

I like to believe any BF/partner of mine only has eyes for me and I don't like that bubble burst. I'm not naive enough to think they won't find other women attractive but I just don't want to know about it. Nothing positive comes from telling your SO that you think someone else is gorgeous and surely it's not hard to keep those thoughts to yourself.

Hedgehogblues · 13/09/2018 08:41

My partner and I regularly tell each other we find other women attractive. It's really not a big deal

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/09/2018 08:41

Maybe not so much if it was just said once and in passing. "Oh she's attractive isnt she.
However like in your case if he was practically snogging her photo and staring at it like shes a Godess of beauty or something, then Yes absolutely, I would be pissed off in a major fuckin way and I think I'd have more than the right to be.

Mulberry72 · 13/09/2018 08:45

DH & I occasionally comment on how attractive other women are, usually celebrities though not generally people we actually know, he sometimes agrees, sometimes not.

If he went on and on about it, it would probably niggle a bit and I’d probably tell him so too.

BuntyII · 13/09/2018 08:48

YANBU he was rude and a bit immature.

Original poster

memany · 13/09/2018 10:00

Thanks. At least I know I wasn't being unreasonable. We do usually say to each other if someone is attractive. But it's more of a X is very good looking and that's it. We wouldn't go on about it.

When I told him to stop he said it's no big deal and wouldn't have a problem if I had said the same too. So maybe I will.

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/09/2018 14:35

Yes op call his bluff. You start fawning over some bloke and see how he likes it

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 13/09/2018 18:58

I’d start telling him in deep detail about every man I fancy and especially any of them that there is a definite spark with. I would go on and on about it.

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 13/09/2018 19:00

And that’s not because I operate from some ridiculous fallacy that i am the only woman he should find attractive. I do expect respect from him, though.

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